Prologue

A Chapter by Ashtyn Turner

Prologue

The Beginning Before It All Started

Ben eyed me as we walked out of the house. I know that I should have told my brother, and leaving with only a note was cruel, but I didn't know what else to do.

When Luna left, she had done the same to us, leaving us behind with nothing more than a note. For so long I've hated her for it, but now I understood. I might still be in the dark as to why she left in the first place, but I knew why she left with only a letter as a goodbye. Saying goodbye was just to damn hard, if I went to Cameron telling him of my plans he would have talked me out of it, and I couldn’t let him do that, not this time.

After a minute, Ben gave in with a sigh and nodded, but he never looked away from me. I knew what he was trying to do without saying a single word, but it wasn't going to work. That is why I knew I could go to him about this, I knew this would hurt him, but he wasn't going to try and stop me. With a shake of my head, I walked away, knowing he would follow. And he did, and together we walked through the trees in silence.

The walk for me was almost peaceful, and it would have been if I didn’t know how much pain I was putting on Ben with this decision. I thought about saying something, quickly against it and I was glad we didn’t. I mean what does one say in a time like this?

I knew talking would only make things harder on him then this already. I couldn’t bring myself to meet his golden eyes, though now they were dim and gray. I knew that he bought that he had failed, but he hadn’t. This had nothing to do with him, but I have no idea how to tell him that it wasn’t his fault. It was no one’s fault that I felt this way or I was born with a heart like mine.

I wish I could have written him a note, and tell him goodbye, but how do I show my appreciation for the man who took us in and raised us? How can I say goodbye to my second father? Is there even a way to say it when I was asking him to end my life?

We were just walking alongside the water as the sun had fallen behind the trees and we finally came to a stop, this felt like the right place, right off this special place we had shared so many memories, the good, the bad and the in between. This was the place I would want Cameron to come and think of me. We had so many fond memories out on this water together.

There was no use in putting this off any longer. There was no one around, but Cameron would be back soon. It was now or never. So I sat at the end of the dock with my legs dangling over the edge. I finally look up at Ben’s face, and it was sad, but also had a stunned fear there as well. I knew that he was not going to like this, because the moment that he ended things, my ashes would be carried away by the water, in peace, fading away into nothing. Someday they would forget about me, they would move on. This way there was nothing that Ben had to worry about.

With a final deep breath, I scooted off the ledge and tried to make the smallest splash as I weighed into the water. Once I was in I turned back to look at Ben, only to find that he hadn’t followed. Now that we were here there was the look of hope on his face that I would change my mind, and I knew right then and there that he was about to say something to get me there.

The sight made my throat burn.

"Sebastian..."

"Don't... just do it, please."

With a deep breath, he finally followed me into the water. I swallowed as I turned away from him. I didn’t want to see his face, and I didn’t want him to have to see my face when it all went down. And once he was standing behind me, let my feet out from under me, letting him hold me and drifted in the water. Ben, place one arm around my chest, holding me, while his other arm rested on my shoulder and I could feel the stake shaking in his hand. With a deep breath, his arms tightened around me. That was enough of a goodbye for me. I took a final deep breath, closed my eyes and leaned my head to one side.

There was a part of me that thought that once I was at this moment, that I would have felt a little bit of fear, but there was none, all that was there was peace. There was a peace knowing that I fought for as long as I could. A peace, knowing that I was making the right decision. Peace knowing that soon I was going to be with my father and mother again.

I could feel his hesitation as the stake press the center of my chest, and it was in the midst of his hesitation, that a familiar voice ran in the inside of my head.

"You really don't want to do this son... I know you don't believe it, that she is out there. But I'm here to tell you, you have a reason to live! Give it a little more time, give her a little more time, she might not come right away, but she is out there!"

When the voice disappeared, my eyes flew open and I quickly submerged myself under the water, pushing myself out of Ben’s reach. I was only under the water for maybe less than a minute, but my heart raced as it had never done before, and when I came back up, I inhaled a lung full of air. It was like a breath that I have been holding for as long as I could remember, and I might as well have been. This breath felt like the life inside me was restored, but I couldn’t explain where it was coming from. Placing my hand on my chest, I clenched my shirt, as my heart had stopped racing, though my breathing didn’t slow.

I was so confused.

That feeling in my heart was gone so fast thought I imagined it. That voice though. The voice now that I knew was real. It was vivid and clear enough that I couldn't have imagined it and I clung to it now, because the words had come from a voice, from a man, I never thought that I was going to hear from again, but it was a voice that I would never forget. That is how I knew it was him.

It was my father.

From beyond the grave?

My tears mixed with the water that was still dripping from my face as I allowed this new information sink in, but really it was only flooding my system, overwhelming me. There was someone out there for me, she was so close and yet so far. Is that what he was trying to tell me, or what?

Slowly, I found the courage to face Ben, and the second that our eyes met, my legs gave out from under me. And then Ben did something that he had never done before. He stepped towards me, wrapping his arms around me in a bear hug kind of way, and he held me, waist deep in the water. I felt so small the reality of what I had actually asked him to do started to weigh on me and I did something that I haven’t done since the night of the fire, I started to cry. Ben just continued to hold me like a small child, and I guess at that moment that is what I was. So I let him.

He knew me, more then I realized. He knew me on the same level as my father did. And I felt not only Ben's arms around me at that moment, but my father's too. And that even though my father could never be replaced, Ben was the best second father I could have asked for.

I don’t know how much time had passed when he finally let me go, and when he did I didn’t anything, all I could feel was numbness. I wasn’t really sure what to feel. I didn’t know what to think about what had happened in this water tonight. I knew that I heard my father’s voice, but the way my heart race, that was still something that I didn’t understand.

Getting out of the water, the two of us walked back to the house, dripping wet, and silent. But this silence was not the same kind of silence that we went through as we walked down to the docks, this walk seemed longer, and I didn’t feel anything, other than the water dripping from my clothes and skin.

Once we were back at the house, I hurried up the stairs and changed out of my wet clothes. As I left the room to go back downstairs, I remembered the letter still sitting on Cameron’s pillow, waiting for him to read. I rushed back down the hall to the room he was staying in, grabbed the waiting letter and threw it in the trash.

My brother was never going to know that that letter ever existed. He was never going to read the horrible words that I managed to write on that page. Throwing the letter away, I felt my first range of emotions, but they were anything but good. I felt guilty that I was just willing to leave this world, to leave my brother with nothing more than a letter, telling him that this is what I had to do.

But he never had to know. No one did. Ben wouldn’t say anything if I asked him not to.

When I finally walked back downstairs, I found Ben leaning against the counter sipping on a glass of scotch (which he never did). When I took a better look at his face I could see so many emotions playing across his face. Relief. Confusion. And even a little leftover pain from before. For me, another wave of guilt came over me. I couldn’t believe that I was willing to put this amazing man through all that. He looked at me like I was his son. Shaking my head, I walked into the kitchen, getting my own glass, poured myself a glass, and took two long swigs of it. And though I could feel the burn of it as it traveled down my throat, I was not going to feel the effects.

"Is that what it feels like?" I whispered.

"Is that what... what feels like?"

"What it feels like to be whole?"

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know... one minute I felt at peace with my decision and then I felt something else," I paused in wonder, "You know I have been trying to figure out how to describe it since I got out that water, but really there are no words... Ben, I felt whole, for the first time in my life. I want to keep going!"

Ben just shrugged his one shoulder, as we both leaned against the counter again and took another long drink from our glasses.

"Promise me you won't tell him what happened today..." I said, after a minute.

Ben eyed me form over his glass but nodded. I think we both just wanted to put this day behind us and forget about it as much as we could.

It was only moments later that Cameron walked through the front door. He eyed us both with our empty glasses of scotch. But without asking, he went into the cabinet for his own glass and we each filled out glasses with the amber liquid. I know that my brother was trying to drown in his own sorrows.

Things had to get better, for all of us. There was no way that the three of us could keep going like this. Something had to give, but I was not going to let it be us.

I was not the only lost one in the room, but for the first time, there was hope at the end of this very long and dark tunnel. I couldn't quite see a light and I didn't know when I would, but I know someday there would be a light at the end of this tunnel, for all of us.

…

Several thousand miles away, the October day was chilly and stormy. In a hospital labor and delivery room, a mother was giving her final push, giving birth to a beautiful baby girl. When her cries rang out they not only shook every wall in that hospital room, but her cries shook the very foundation of the world around her. With her birth, several elements were set into motion.

In taking in her very first lung full of air she saved the life to which her heart was tied to, and who in turn would save her life on day.

A sleeping monster was awakened, and was now on the prowl, sealing the fate of the one closest to her.

Her fate written in stone, long, long ago, but her destiny all her own. When the two collide, they will create several surprising twists and turns along the way.

She didn’t know it yet, but there was going to be things that make her question what is right and what is wrong. What up is up and what is done. What was real and what was not.

This extraordinary little girl’s name was Rowan Lynn Venom.

Rowan's heart alone defied the laws of nature, puzzling everyone around her, wondering how she was even here, and thriving like she was.

What was so shocking about her heart? She was born with a half of one, and she was faced with no complications. And the moment that she was placed in her mother’s arms, her mother could see the world as it laid at her feet.

If it is not clear by now, this little girl is very special, and it had come from nowhere. Her mother, Allie, she was a nurse, but also a very powerful seer. She had the ability to see the future of the ones that she touched, and when she touched her daughter, she was able to see her own fate, since it was intertwined with the little one wrapped in her arms.

A future that only straightened the bond between mother and daughter, no matter how dark.

It wasn't just the two of them though. There was also a father, Erik, oblivious to it all. To his wife's amazing abilities or how the world was shifting around them because of his new baby girl. Erik's world was consumed by his other little girl, Candy, who was only ten months old at the time and just learning to walk.

In his eyes, a little girl couldn’t have been any more perfect, with her dark curly brown hair and chocolate brown eyes, that shimmered with wonder, and he thought that her little giggles were the cutest thing. If it was up to him, he could have just stopped with her.

But it just wasn’t in the cards, and the day Candy met her new little sister for the very first time, she was anything but impressed. She was very unsure of what to think of her. Watching the bundle of joy in her mother's arms from across the room, while she clung to her father's legs. In her little mind, she was trying to come to terms with this all mean. She was so slowly realizing that it wasn’t just her anymore. For month’s her mom had been trying to tell her that there was a baby in her belly, but she didn’t really know what any of that meant, and she had no idea how to come to terms to this new little being in the room with her and her parents.

"Do you want to meet your new little sister?" Mom had asked, doing her best to coax her in their direction.

Candy glanced up at her father unsure of what to do next and he smiled down at her, whispering to her that it was all okay. She was clearly a daddy's little girl.

Slowly she waddled toward her mom, with her dad right on her heels to make sure that she didn’t fall. Once she had reached them, her dad put her up on the bed next to her mom and baby sister and then her mother placed the little bundle into her waiting arms, just like they had practiced with the baby doll back home.

Nervously, Candy looked back at her father, who smiled, but then she glanced down at Rowan little face. Their eyes met for a moment before Rowan’s whole face scrunched up just before she let out a whaling cry. This confused Candy and she didn’t quite know what to do, so she began crying too, trying to shove the heavy bundle in her lap away.

This only made Allie laugh, as she took Rowan from Candy’s arms and started to rock her from side to side and Erik swept Candy up into his own arms. Both girls had settled quite quickly in their own little safe places.

In the moments that followed, Allie’s eyes had turned glossy for a minute or so, and Erik didn't even seem to notice. And then she glances down at her now sleeping daughter.

Whispering she said, "If one was to leave the other would be lost. Through a darkness and peril of a heart, there is a light, it shines brightly when it is given fuel to run off of. Love. When one leaves then the light is lost, but together, the light is bright and nothing could dim it. Nothing will pull them apart."

The words might have appeared to be for the two little girls, the two sisters, but they weren't. But Allie just continued to smile, as she looked up at her husband, who smiled back at her with so much love and devotion, but when they both look back to their new

baby girl, his smile faded away just a bit.

Between the four there was a perfect balance, everything seemed to work out just right as the girls got older. Daddy's little princess, and Mommy's peanut.

I was so excited tonight.

Yesterday was my fourth birthday and Mommy had gotten me a big girl bed, one with no bars keep me in, making it hard to get out of in the morning and get my morning hugs from my mommy. Mommy’s hugs in the morning were always the best, and it was my favorite part of the day, well other than bedtime and her bedtime stories.

And now I was just like my big sister, Candy. Though Candy wasn’t too happy about the idea, she hated that I had gotten something new and she didn’t, but she already had her own big girl bed, why would she need another?

Mommy tucked me in so tight that I felt like a burrito and it made me giggle, and then she settled in next to me, which she was never able to do before.

Once Mommy and I were settled in bed, I turned to look up at her, "Why don't you tell Candy bedtime stories? Are you afraid my heart's going to stop? It's not!"

She laughed, "I know that, Peanut. It has nothing to do with that. Candy just like the stories Daddy tells her..."

"But, why? Daddy tells them wrong!"

Mommy shrugs, "Maybe that's how Candy wants them told."

I nodded my little head as I looked up at her. A hair fell into my face and she smiled as she tucked it behind my ear, I always loved when she did that. So with that, I cuddled up to her, ready for my story.

"So, tell me, what shall it be tonight? A book or... should I tell a new tale?"

"A new tale?" I asked, sitting up too look at her, my eyes widening with excitement.

"It’s a story that came to me after you were born..."

Once upon a time, there was a girl with the most beautiful brown eyes. Eyes that not only saw what was right in front of her but also what has already been, and in her dreams, what will be. This little girl was very special, in fairy tales, she would have been called the fairest of them all.

Now, this little girl had a mother who held her in a special place in her heart. A father who didn’t understand her. And an older sister that just got under her skin.

Now if this were a fairytale, and I’m not saying that it is, there is always a twist in events, right? An evil villain who comes into town just to shake things up. More times than not, it is the beautiful princess who is caught up in all of it, who pays. This story is no different, but have no fear, my sweet girl, because for every villain there is always a hero, a knight in shining armor, a prince charming.

One day, the beautiful girl had come home to find that her heart had been broken. She had kissed a frog and found out that that was all he really was, a green, slimy, little creature.

Little did she know that kissing a frog wasn’t her biggest worry that day. Her world had yet turned upside down. Little did she know that the hug that she clung to would be her last. Interrupted by shattering glass. It was because of this tragedy this beautiful girl had felt lost and it was this feeling of being lost and all the wrong things that that little negative voice in the back of her head that she clung to.

She was trapped in darkness.

She believed that she was never going to feel the light again. She thought that because of what happened she didn’t deserve to find it again anyway. She blamed herself.

Mom’s voice cracked as she spoke.

But, Sweetheart, she shouldn’t. There was nothing that she could have done!

As a matter of fact, this beautiful girl was in more danger than ever before. Just because she could no longer see him, that didn’t mean that he wasn’t watching, that he could feel her, get into her head.

The beautiful girl deserved the light and when she finds it, it was the color of the sea, or was it the color of the sky, or a shade of blue in between, or all of the above? Alas, the light turned out not to be a light at all. It was the sea or the sky. They were a set of eyes, eyes as blue as the sea, the sky and every blue in between.

Remember what I said though? Every story has a hero or a prince? He wasn’t that far away, but she had to be patient because he would appear when she least expected. But when they did meet, it was an instant connection. She just had to do was open her heart and her mind to the idea of him.

He was her light.

He was her rock, her safe place.

She knew that no matter what, if things went wrong, he was the one that she could turn to.

He would protect her from the unknown.

He would remind her that she was allowed to be happy.

He would show her that she was worth loving.

And he would give her a life out of the darkness.

Give her a life of adventure.

A life, not even she could dream of.

He was more than a hero.

He was more than a prince who lived in the shadows, from dawn till dusk. But… he wasn’t that far off.

But don’t think that it was only him who did all the saving. He might have been the beautiful girl’s white knight and prince charming, but she will save him as much as he had saved her. And I am going to let you in on a little secret, they lived happily ever after.

I smiled at the thought, I loved when a story ended that way. And now I looked up at my mommy with my extremely heavy eyes. She smiled down t me as she petted my hair.

“And always remember Rowan Lynn, If one was to leave, then the other would be lost. Through a darkness and peril of a heart, there is a light, it shines brightly when it is given fuel to run off of. Love. When one leaves then the light is lost, but together, the light is bright and nothing could dim it. Nothing will pull them apart." Mommy whispered in my ear as she kissed my head.

I nodded as she stood. I was still dreamily smiling when Daddy came into my room to kiss me goodnight. As he left Mommy was just walking out of Candy's room and was passing by mine again.

"Mommy?" I called in my sleepy voice.

She stopped in the doorway and her smile glowed from the little light of the hallway, "Yes, Peanut?"

"You're my home... and my heart is not going to stop! I think you're stuck with me! And Mommy, you are my happy place!"

"I know Row, he's just your other half!" As she spoke tears welled up in her eyes and she blew me a kiss turning off the light.

I stared into the darkness after her thinking to myself, I didn't mean to make her cry.

prev chapter