Written in the Stars

This one is dedicated to my special person in my life :) Here's to my love

It is written in the stars

our love for each other.

It is written in the stars

the sparkle in your eyes.

Your brown hair

and red lips

paint the night sky

with the beauty of

a greek goddess

Your playful words

and beautiful soul

shoot through my heart

like Halley's comet through the night sky

It is written in the stars

that as long as you

follow the North Star,

it will always lead you home.

Well, it was written in the stars

that I follow

the North Star

and it led me

straight to you

Author's Note

This is my first poem in a really long time. Let me know what I could have done better at and thanks for reading!

Reviews

[¿]

Absolutely a blissful writing for someone special!
Her dazzling beauty and your falling for it....grabbing some details which else might ignore....and finally the intuitions of stars that towards north star will be your home found if you follow....actually when you did...in her you discovered your home....well I think at that time it was not only home but the whole universe was found for you in her!!
Thanks for this amazing soulful read Sir!😊

[Jordan Smith]

Thank you for reading it and critiquing it! I am glad that it at least was, I assume, easy to follow especially for it being my first piece that I've written in around a year or two.

[¿]

An easy deep piece have always been my fave....You're heartedly welcomed😊!

[Adreamer's Bluejay]

I enjoy the simplicity of this one. Whenever you are needing to relive or find a little love in your heart this seems like a great piece to visit and melt in.

For being your first piece in a while, I think you've done a nice job of engaging your reader and saying everything it feels like you needed or wanted to say - however, other than the description of your love it feels like it is lacking some of your personal flair... maybe that's just my opinion though- as all critiques really boil down to.

[‘Thoughts In Time..]

Oh beautiful to have found a love so true - a meant to be that you were lead straight to that heart- when we believe all things are possible 🌹

[Jordan Smith]

I'm glad you enjoyed it Rose Petal!

[‘Thoughts In Time’🌹]

My pleasure🌹

[A.G.]

wow. really beautiful poem you written here. romantic and meaningful. I enjoyed it. thank you for sharing Jordan (:

-Angelina

[Jordan Smith]

Thank your for the review Angelina! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[A.G.]

😊 your welcome

[Hannah]

Sometimes there's nothing better than an expression of love. This poem is very beautifully and romantically written, and your feelings come across very strongly. This is a very sweet poem.

[Jordan Smith]

Thank you Hannah! I appreciate that!

[Davidgeo]

Some good old fashioned romance poetry. Well done.

In the second to last stanza, second line... the line break after 'you' kinda sorta f***s up the flow a little bit. It's extremely minor and I have no suggestions on how to fix that without drastically changing the stanza but I thought I'd point it out anyway. It could stay the same and not really matter, it's a good poem regardless of that.

[Jordan Smith]

Thank you! I appreciate the critique.

[Davidgeo]

It was my pleasure

[Light]

really sweet, liked it alot

[Jordan Smith]

Thanks Light!

[Walking Despair]

There are no words I can produce at this moment to describe the response I got from your work but it has touched my heart and given a new definition to the words "beauty is in the eyes of the beholder".

[Jordan Smith]

Thank you for the praise! I am glad that you enjoyed this poem!

[Onlyme]

Adorable and beautiful felt.

[Jordan Smith]

Thanks Dee! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[Onlyme]

More so, thank you for sharing.

[Jacob Clifford]

I don't know enough about poetry to offer suggestions., though I will mention the typo The Iron Horseman noted in stanza four: "shoots" should be "shoot". I'll just say that this piece is richly saturated with emotions - let that emotion guide your pen. I'm always a sucker for comparisons to space; anyone who shoots like Halley's Comet must be spectacular.

[Jordan Smith]

Thanks for the review Clifford! I'm glad you enjoyed the comparisons!

[Jordan Smith]

Thank you Janeid! I'm glad you liked the poem!

[Walking Despair]

My apologies I meant to type it as a review and not a comment so I typed it again. Thank you for sharing those words.

[Shubham Sharma]

Your poems gives a valuable lesson that to make a poetry beautiful and meaningful at the same time it's not necessary to include rhymes. Your songs seems to have a romantic tone tone although I am unable to figure out whether this poetry is really about romantic feelings of someone or about the narrator is displaying romanticism in other things instead of love. But a great read.

[Jordan Smith]

Thanks for the review Shubham! This poem is showcasing romantic feelings while using other things as imagery.