Dreams Change

Dreams Change

A Poem by Jordan Smith
"

Hey everyone! This is me trying to get back into poetry writing! Let me know honestly what you think about this one as I haven't written a poem in almost a year. Thanks for reading by the way!

"
Dreams can shape
who we are,
what we do,
when we believe.

Dreams can show
us a life worth living,
a life full of passion,
love & promise.

Your dreams can take
you so many places.

But just like a GPS,
routes change,
arrival times delayed
& destinations altered.

Not all dreams end
the way it shows.
New roads emerge,
new destinations arrive.

It's up to you
to decide if
you want to
keep dreaming or not.

© 2017 Jordan Smith


Author's Note

Jordan Smith
Please let me know what you think. This is the first poem that I have written in almost a year so please don't be shy with the critiques. Let me know what you thought about it.

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Featured Review

I like it, there for I will give you an idea... what if you re tell that poem with the GPS metaphor in mind, but try telling it in first person... as in if you are driving and being re routed, given new opportunities, leaving the path, ect. Sometimes looking at a piece that is full of potential at a different angle can help you give it the perfect touch. Not saying the new angle would be better than the original (which btw is unique and honestly written), just maybe you could tweak it with a new take and who knows? Just a thought, JN ;)

Posted 7 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Great piece of motivation! I like that you even make mention of changing routes or losing perspective - I feel like so many people forget the importance of some of those moments far too often.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

please show us with metaphor and personal stories why you feel this way. the last stanza speaks of dreams, what are yours? The comments are meant to be constructive, Jennifer's review is spot on.

Posted 6 Years Ago


I really loved this..Dreams are integral part of ones life otherwise your life becomes nothing different than that of an animal...I liked the way you compared them with GPS..Actually Dreams shape who we are..You expressed it beautifully in this poem..
Keep on writing...

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Jordan Smith

6 Years Ago

Thank you Riddhi!
What a deep piece in such few words, I’d say you did really well and would enjoy reading more! I agree with Carol Cashes on how it makes it that much better that you stayed positive through the poem, thanks for sharing!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Jordan Smith

6 Years Ago

Thanks for your feedback! I'm glad you enjoyed this poem!
I like it, there for I will give you an idea... what if you re tell that poem with the GPS metaphor in mind, but try telling it in first person... as in if you are driving and being re routed, given new opportunities, leaving the path, ect. Sometimes looking at a piece that is full of potential at a different angle can help you give it the perfect touch. Not saying the new angle would be better than the original (which btw is unique and honestly written), just maybe you could tweak it with a new take and who knows? Just a thought, JN ;)

Posted 7 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

I love the GPS comparison. I do feel like it's a bit broad, but in a good sense because it makes it a more relatable piece with a wider audience. Great job! You should definitely get back into it.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

"Not all dreams end the way it shows."
This is so true, holds a lot of meanings to it, reminds me of how love feels at times when you lose hope for a moment. But regardless what happens, it goes on, just like how you said "but just like a GPS, routes change, arrival times delayed & destinations altered." I really loved this poem, thank you for sharing!


Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Jordan Smith

6 Years Ago

Thank you Amy! I'm glad that you liked the poem :) I hope to write some more soon!
Amy R

6 Years Ago

You're welcome, i'll be sure to check for new ones.
Jordan Smith

6 Years Ago

I appreciate that :)
Yes, the GPS in my life has "recalculated" a few times. I like that you kept this on a positive note, however, ever the buzzkill (and I take my job very seriously!) dreams can break you if you hitch your star to someone else's. There's a potential stanza there, I think, a "caution" in order to qualify/completely define dreams and their impact. Good job.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on August 12, 2017
Last Updated on August 12, 2017

Author

Jordan Smith
Jordan Smith

Houston, TX



About
28-year old former poet trying to maybe get back into the world of writing. Slowly trying to find that part of me again while healing my heart. more..

Writing