When I Saw You...

An Ode by my Character, 'John Mathias Hope' from my book, "Pity Me No More, Forever" to a woman he loves

When I saw you, my heart skipped a beat,
and for a deathless moment, I died.
My breath caught in my lungs
like an animal, caged within
the confines of my lungs
unwilling to free it.

My diaphragm was turned in that moment
to steel, unmoving, unrelenting in it's
refusal to bend bellowed aspect
as would force my traitorous lungs
to free my hostage'd breath,
and in it's turn return fire
to my frozen heart.

And for that single, eternal moment,
my eyes were trapped by yours.

And then your voice deafened my ears
to all sound, rapt as they were
by words fallen from lips so perfect
as to be the most beautiful,
spoken sin.

It did not matter that it rained;
it only perfected what was unperfectable.

I was, however, envious of the drops
fallen on your face, never wishing more,
than in that moment, to be something,
somewhere, other than I was;
not flesh and blood and bone,
but, instead, like unto those drops of water,
that I might kiss what they did,
might touch as they touched.

'Oh, cruel, sweet drops,
make me as you,'
I begged them, silently.
'Or better, join with your confederates
that grace my most unworthy skin,
that as those on her
might join with mine,
sealing my desire
with a firey, wet kiss'...

Reviews

[Nadia Gerassimenko]

It makes me think of olden love letters written in ink and parchments, sent by doves. It's very romantic!

[AuthorDMGreene]

Thank You Nadia... that is actually the feeling I was after. A bit like Shakespeare, but if you could have it read by 'Vincent' from "Beauty & The Beast" sort of feeling as well. I'm a huge Shakespeare aficionado, mixed with a lot of 'hopeful' romantic. Very glad you liked it.

[lissa3333333]

I like the detailed description and how it captures the moment. Well written!

[AuthorDMGreene]

Thank You very much Lissa! I'll be reading some of your things, anon. Am feeling a bit under the weather at the moment, so am just relaxing for a bit.