Mr. Bad Habits

Mr. Bad Habits

 

When will the alcohol not be enough,

Enough to drown me,

Me, afraid of water and of drowning,

Drowning, as in losing air, not breathing, sinking,

Sinking as in falling,

Falling into bad habits or old ways,

Old ways bring new habits,

New habits means something stronger,

Stronger, I wish I could be,
Could be, I could be so many things,

Many things sounds like one too many, too much,

Too much is blacking out each night,

Each night a mystery,

Mystery, a cloudy daze, gone,

Gone, is my soul and brain, left an empty gaze,

An empty gaze full of hurt and pain,

Pain, is that why I drink?

Why I drink, the same reason I drown,

I drown most nights,

Most nights I wonder,

I wonder which I will lose first,

First, my oxygen supply, or,

Or lose myself.

Reviews

[Kay]

This flows well with the way you carried words over to the next line. Such as "not be enough/enough to drown me" and "of drowning/Drowning, as in losing air". It creates a musicality, connects an old thought to a new one, and emphasizes the imagery. Nice poem!

[Austin_Meehan]

Thank you for your thoughts! Glad you enjoyed it, don't be afraid to view any of my other work and I'd be more than happy to view some of yours!

[Kay]

You're welcome! Sure, I'd be glad to read more. =)

[Askew]

I think this just might be my new favourite discovery on this site. It's feels so real and painful, and, even though I'm only 17, I find that already hits way too close to home. The way you reused words from previous lines made the feeling stick with the reader that much longer, and made it feel even more heartbreaking. Thank you very much for writing this.

[Austin_Meehan]

THank you so much! I am glad you enjoyed it, feel free to check out more of my work and I'll look at yours! Is there anything I can improve/change? Just let me know! Thanks again!

[Nipplegrinder]

Clever bit, this. Deftly executed.

[Davidgeo]

It's kinda clever how you start each line with how you finished the last.

It doesn't always work for every line but for the most part it's very effective.

Well done.