Creatures

just a lesson i decided to show some people

a creature of evil grows inside of me
he is corrupted, full of hate, anger, and misery
he feeds on the energy of another
but just one part of me is him
for there is another
one who feeds on helping others
he is a creature of good, of the light
these creatures are in a constant fight
just who will win in their struggles
why it all leads to choice
the choice of who i decide to feed

Reviews

[Ashley Black]

very good lesson. i like the metaphor of the beasts good job

[DBURKE]

Great poem! I also enjoyed the message inside the poem! Once again good work!

[victoria]

i loved the idea of this, it made me question how i act and who i am, and weather its really that easy to change myself or just become my other side. this is a great write :)

[The Last Poetic King]

Yeah I read this before, its great man. Keep up the good work man, at this point I dont have much advice for you. You are just going to have to develop your own style which will take many years in the process.

[Soul Magic✯]

you've captured the emotions very well in words... outstanding expression

[Prateeksha Khot]

great. simply great. and amazingly true. loved it

[Charles]

Oh, how true. Let's hope you always feed the right creature. I'd change 'there struggles' to 'their struggles' and you'll have a first class effort here. As I look back on this poem, i can't help but wonder whether a bit of punctuation might not help the reader make the transitions between some of the lines. Good work.

[Stammers]

Reminds me of a line in one of the Harry Potter's, sorry if you're not a fan. Something like we all have good and bad in us, it is the side of us we choose to act on that is our real self. Meant as a compliment. Also reminds me of a Seamus Heaney poem but the name of it has gone lol.

Harrowing to analyse your own nature. A good write that gives life to the process not many of us can carry out with honesty. Good write.

[ashley]

The last line is my favorite. It gives this an extra punch the poem would've definitely lacked. Great job! :D

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

Intense write, but good....thanks for sharing....