Numb

This is a memory of mine that doesn't fit with me but is the first i ever had

this is the first memory i had i cant date anything before this but i know it isn't me

 

 

Color gone but all so real

A flash of past

Numb at last

I could have done it all

But sold it for this numb act

So I dive to the floor

The kitchen screams in my eyes

It should smell but it’s numb

I should feel but its gone

Her face appears

As she dives from her duty

And sadness washes o’re her

Numb on my side it’s all black and white

I feel a face with no shape

Only emotion…

Only pain…

Why must I cause my love pain?

Why is it I love it in the vein?

I ease no pain just burn more in her

As I lie on the floor

Wishing I had no more

I’d beg but just choke

Id apologize

But it’s a joke

I’d cry but can’t feel

I’d hope

But hope’s unreal

At least I had her face

To ease me to my next place

But soon it grew a’ blur

And time is lost

In the memory of disappointing her

Author's Note

Opinions, comments

Reviews

[HorrorMaster]

Nice poem I really enjoy it.

[Naomi Montana Walsh]

This is true of human relationships we never ever think we can get right and therefore we often don't . It's frustrating but also magical.

[Stammers]

I don't know why no one thinks this is no more than a description of being 'numb' - the idea you're lifeless without the person you love, and the lack of feeling comes from losing them, 'them' embodying what it is to feel and live, etc. It needs some tidying up in parts, but overall I like this a lot. It also makes me think of that state where you've cried so much you can't feel anything.

I ease no pain just burn more in her
As I lie on the floor
Wishing I had no more
I’d beg but just choke
Id apologize
But it’s a joke

Really like those lines.

[What happened to simple..]

you kinda made me numb with this one, though I really do love it when I feel something in ordinary,, beautiful flow, 'I ease no pain just burn more in her,' this is so powerful, it's all quite matter of fact but with such a cool spin on it. really great =)

[Eye0fthebeh0lder]

This is the first thing I've read on this site in weeks and to be honest I quite liked it.

[The Tea Party Mouse.]

I like this a lot. Do you believe in other lives? Maybe this is a memory from another time. Nice pacing, it is beautifully done.

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

Perfect name. I saw the sadness and despair, but it was so hard to feel.
Its amazing how you wrote this tragic story in such a nonchalant styling.

[Charles]

Interesting piece, but I can't get a feel for the real meaning... just a story of numbness. I even have trouble identifying the theme, given your comment about this being your 'first memory.' I guess this is one of those poems that will remain enigmatic in my mind. :-)

[Moth Phoenix]

It's a very nice piece of writing and I feel the emotion throughout! Keep it up!! :D I like how you're showing instead of telling. Great job Austin!! :D

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

Awe this is a sad poem. I know how it is to go numb. I feel like that sometimes. This was great though. Thanks for sharing.