Hide and Seek

my first sonnet

Now I’ve searched far and wide

For the master of this game

For the hider that evades my eye

For if there was a prize she would take all the fame

I’ve found many others before

And quite pretty girls they were

But each one was a w***e

When I thought I found a good one, it was just a blur

Oh how I hate this game of hide and seek

For all the players have so much skill

And as a seeker I’m fairly weak

So I think I will hide upon this hill

In plain view for all to see

Waiting for some seeker to find me

Author's Note

yeah this is my first sonnet im very proud never though i would get one down

Reviews

[Theresa]

They always say when you stop looking that is when you will be found. I'm not familiar with sonnets so I can not comment on the format but the content is great. Nice Job.

[Prateeksha Khot]

That's a great sonnet. nice work

[The Perfectionist]

A sonnet? Someone actually wrote in real poetic form? Awesome.

Um, well now I'm not an expert on sonnets (in fact I googled them to make sure I was right about this) but there's more to them than the rhyme scheme. There's also a very specific rhythm. Shakespearean sonnets, the most commonly written kind, are written in iambic pentameter.

According to wikipedia, this is defined as: "a line made up of five pairs of short/long, or unstressed/stressed, syllables."

The only other type of sonnet is one written in a 'romantic language' (a category under which English does not fall) so you're pretty much restricted to this.

I didn't double check, but I don't think ANY of your lines are in Iambic Pentameter, so this isn't really a sonnet. If you want to write one (and I see no reason why not) take a look at the rhythm scheme and try again.

[Deaths Cold Kiss]

this is a great sonnet, keep it up

[deeps]

I really like this. It is wonderful.

[Lilly]

I am not very familiar with the structure of sonnets so I can't comment on the structure/ way this was written but I will say that I loved the topic/concept of this piece - it flowed really well. I especially loved the last few lines:

"Oh how I hate this game of hide and seek
For all the players have so much skill
And as a seeker I’m fairly weak
So I think I will hide upon this hill
In plain view for all to see"

Beautiful work with this.

[The Last Poetic King]

Pretty decent one, I just need to remember the set up of sonnets. I might do one in the future, but they really don't appeal to me.

[Ashley Black]

I really like it. It's good. I love sonnets. They rock! lol keep it up :]