A Cold Flame

Love and lost, etc, everyone heard a story bout love.

A spark into flames,
once friend to desire.
our hearts let go, love conspired.

stranded in love,
lost in each others eyes,
we breathed in fire, tasted the sky.

silver at hand,
I remember that night.
You always felt beautiful, in every light.

Never just I,
not even you,
We shared 'we," man it felt true.

I felt our embrace,
every nerve set fire,
Our souls hugged, pure desire.

hearts grew hungry,
bodies took more,
minds set fire... soon all would burn.

desire at mind,
troubled i bled,
i embraced my curse, a song for death.

fear grappled your mind,
refused to let out your heart,
crippled our love, left for wolves.. we howled.

we knew what we wanted,
and together we vowed.
our love we would fight for, go out proud.

weeks went by,
not a damn thing had changed.
I was out on the edge, you kept throwing knives.

You're pissed at me,
where was this passion then.
you put your heart in a fight, this isn't right.

so maybe i'm wrong.
hell i think i am right!
It is all that mattered to you, who is wrong or right..

it is a shame i gave up,
yet you did long ago,
our love was always worth it, i'm glad 'we" let go...

love, incomprehensible.
spirit, love continually entwined.
we just touched the surface, we could've took flight..

Author's Note

yeah something about bitches and love and idk. i was upset, but i wasn't happy so i think i moved on.

Reviews

[Darylrevoklives]

the only thing i can say about it is that hugged seems out of place considering how intense the feelings you are expressing are. The rest of your words convey it quite well, but hugged seems to slow it a little. otherwise excellent.

[Undying Glory]

powerful write, i thought this was intriguing stuff. personally if rhyming is forced for me, i don't really care, so long as it's not too forced. i myself try to rhyme words differently sometimes. the rhyming here was fine, i feel and it's great that you could put all those feelings into this one. good job

[Destinyxi]

some of the rhyming felt a bit forced.. which isn't uncommon but still haha. It was a good read though. Maybe work on some of the rhymes and repetition, change it a bit if you'd like.

[Hippy]

Thanks, it probably is a bit forced, i agree, been a while since i have written, i just had to write it ya know. Thanks for an honest review and not another one of those BS wow i really like this crap. Thank you.

[Destinyxi]

haha, no problem. Been on this site long enough to grow a pair of balls and tell people how it is :P

I know how you feel about having to write because it had been so long. :)

[Hippy]

Haha, glad to hear some people have grown a pair. I myself am on here actually looking at some read requests and being honest myself. You seem like good people my friend, I'mma add you and check some of your art out.

[Destinyxi]

sounds good haha.