"Stories"

I ripped you right in two,

from the very last page

of the ending chapter

in the big book of us. 

 

A dirty, nail-biting page turner 

Just dying to climax

I've been climbing up my own walls just to finish this story.

 

I've always had to read between the blurry lines

And you've always had to catch my very last word, 

And somewhere we would get tangled again

In the sticky pages and in the sweaty sheets of our very own stories together. 

 

I tried to save my place too many times 

By bending the corners and bending my very own rules 

I'm itching to finish this story. 

 

I've always had to fill in for your lack of emotion 

And you've always had to excuse my way with words

And somewhere we would get distracted again 

In the sweaty sheets and in the sticky pages of our very own stories together. 

 

I tried to jump ahead to the ending too many times

By scanning ahead and skipping through chapters

Trying to figure out just how this story will actually end 

In the sticky pages and in the sweaty sheets of our very own stories together. 

Reviews

[HopeOrHorror]

At 2 in the morning reading this, it feels a little heavy on the book/word/story metaphor, like it's leaning on that imagery a little too heavily, which makes it feel hard to relate to. Hard to create a mental picture of the story you are telling. Which feels like that is the goal. It also seems a bit too passive for what I feel was a much more emotionally charged intent. I think the structure as well, kind of stops the flow in some ways. This could have been what you are going for. I often write things and get constructive criticism to "fix" the exact point I was trying to make.
I will say it does feel like you are on the right track of creating something vivid and sensuous.