Your bright hair and your slow, sugary smile
I remember from a summer long past
of chocolate dreams in the sundae style,
hot fudge and cherry top melting too fast.
On strawberry days when we sat outside
On vanilla porches in afternoon,
Minty grins and waffle cups collided;
When down to dregs, we abandoned the spoon.
But sprinkles and neapolitan scoops
Only hold people together so long.
Caramel distractions on nearby stoops;
One banana-split later, you were gone.
Soft serve dreams ended before they started.
I know the cure for the broken hearted.
This is a revamped version of a sonnet that I wrote when I was 17, fixed up recently for a poetry class. I'm satisfied with it for now, but I'm always open to suggestion. Also, one student brought it to my attention that the use of "Caramel" could possibly be taken as a racial insinuation - I just want to make it clear, that was not my intention, "caramel" fit the theme and the rhythm and I just like the word in general - I wonder, do other people get that vibe from the word, should I change it? I don't want to offend anyone!
ALSO - the Ice Cream Love image is from deviantart.com, by Kitsune-Petit. I found her through google while looking for pics of ice cream, but all her work is cute if you want to check her out!
My Review
Would you like to review this Poem? Login | Register
Oh gosh people just look for stuff to get overly sensitive about sometimes don't they? Nicole, this is a very fine and sweet, no pun intended, poem. The only reason people could have to spin about the caramel line is because you have the word, distractions, after caramel, so right away, you are distracted by an african american. Now, what if you substituted, cravings, for distractions, then I don't see how anyone could turn that into something negative.
Wonderful poem, ice cream is my favorite all time dessert!
Antonio
Currently a children's therapist, which I love completely even though it steals my writing time. Currently I'm living at home, working as children's outpatient therapist and an Assistant Colorguard In.. more..