Chapter 8, Part 2 - Asia

Why is Asia so worried about change all of a sudden? Do only crazy people crave normalcy when things are already normal?

            Being grounded in my house is something of a joke. Whichever parents grounds me will set the rules and then forget about them and the other parents won’t even know about it to begin with. I wasn’t worried about being grounded for sneaking out to stay at Andrew’s house, because my parents wouldn’t bother grounding me; they’d go straight to killing me.

            Just because Andrew’s a guy, that’s pretty much it. If they caught me sneaking to Dawn’s house, they’d just throw me an extra sweater. Or if they found out I’d snuck out to study at the library, they’d probably just compare me to the brilliant Michele. But because Andrew was my boyfriend, and things can happen with boyfriends, I wouldn’t be surprised if the punishment was church and a chastity belt. Of course, the chastity belt would be coming a little too late, but my parents wouldn’t have to know that. There isn’t much to tell anyway – I was drunk, remember?

            And even though everyone always joked with me about having sex and kind of expected me to have already had it, and probably wouldn’t be surprised if it came out, I didn’t want anyone to know. It was almost too embarrassing, but I wasn’t sure why. Maybe because all I’d ever really been told about it was “don’t do it”, but it obviously hadn’t stopped me, so I wasn’t sure what the big deal was. Stacy would be good to tell, because she’d just want to know all about it. But then she’d probably tell Madison, if not Dawn and Maggie, and if Madison knew then everyone would know. I guess some things are just better left unsaid.

            “You’re being very quiet. I thought you liked this movie?” Mom reached over and gently shook my shoulder. My parents had put on Rocky for the umpteenth time, and while I could sit through it happily enough, I preferred Legally Blonde. But my parents didn’t always get that kind of humor.

            “I do. I’m watching it, Mom,” I replied, shaking her off.

            “She’s been quiet since Christmas,” Dad said without looking away from the screen – it wasn’t important enough to take away from Rocky.

            “She just misses Michele and Jake,” Mom told him. She smiled at me. “You always get kind of mopey after they visit.”

            Only because that’s when I realize how very different my life is going to be from theirs when I eventually leave the house, so much so that you can’t even compare it. I wouldn’t call successful siblings encouraging, just intimidating, no matter how much they do try to encourage me.

            I shrugged. “It’s always kind of weird when they leave, isn’t it?” Maybe for my parents, but not so much for me. Neither Michele nor Jake had lived at home since I was in middle school, and we had never really hung out until after they left. It had taken some getting used to at first, but I usually didn’t actively miss my brother or sister. If anything, having them around was stranger than having them gone.

            “I worry about Michele and Benny living in the city,” Mom sighed. “It’s so far away…”

            “Not if you take the Schuylkill it’s not!” Dad corrected her. “Maybe on 611 it’s far.”

            “If something happens, it’s far away,” she insisted. “I would really love for them to transfer up here, just for safety’s sake.”

            City’s have that dangerous reputation, I guess. I’ve been to Philadelphia often enough without my parents, and have never had a bad experience. If anything, I’d call it safe, although it depends where you go. It’s not like Michele was living in Camden, although it was just across the river. And she and Benny were never going to move closer than they already were unless someone had a heart attack or died.

            “Well, for now, they’re fine.” Dad turned back to the TV and that was the end of it. Mom made a “oh well” face at me, as if it had been my point she was trying to push. I smiled back and glanced at the clock behind her head. Nearly ten at night. I knew Mom had to be at the hospital early, so she would probably go to bed after the movie. Dad could go to bed late and wake up early, as long as he knew that Mom wouldn’t be around to screech about the dangers of coffee. I could never put times on sneaking out; my parents just weren’t that predictable.

            “I’m gonna’ head upstairs. It’s getting late.” I gathered my blanket and stretched as if I was tired.

            “The movie isn’t over!” Dad looked almost hurt; he had never been one to walk out before intermission, and movies were the same.

            “I’ve seen this like fifty times!” I argued. “I’ll watch the sequel with you tomorrow night if you want.”

            He shook his head sadly. “No, I’m working late. Maybe in a few days. Don’t forget!” I wouldn’t, but he probably would.

As soon as I got into my room, I signed online and told Andrew that I’d probably call for a ride late. His parents were in New Jersey for the bar mitzvah of a friend’s son, so at least I wouldn’t have to worry about sneaking in. That would’ve been considerably harder.
            My pajamas and overnight junk were already stuffed in my backpack, so all I had to do was wait for my parents to go to sleep. There were things to do – I could’ve checked my email or talked to people online. But I ended up just sitting at my desk, watching the clock on my computer tick. All I could think about was how weird the whole thing was. I had never snuck out to meet a guy before. Usually it was for social things, like parties that I wasn’t supposed to go to, although I once snuck out to go into the city with Madison after my parents had already said no, and once to visit Dawn the night her dog died. At least those were pretty harmless things, right? Friends are safe. Parents think boys, not so much. It wasn’t just being punished that I was worried about, but I didn’t want my parents to judge me either. Everyone at school does that enough, I don’t need it at home.

I got lucky. By eleven o’clock, both of my parents were in their room. It took a slow trip to the bathroom to make sure everything was quiet, but my dad’s slight snoring was the real tip. In five minutes I had messaged Andrew to pick me up at the entrance to my neighborhood, turned off the lights and my computer, and crept into the kitchen without so much as creaking on the stairs. That’s really an art – if breaking and entering wasn’t typically frowned on, I’d probably go pro with it.

There are two hard parts about sneaking out; waiting for my parents to fall asleep, and actually getting out of the house. I don’t like using most of the doors downstairs, because they make too much noise. The basement doors, however, are perfect. They’re so far from the upstairs that I don’t worry about being too loud, and they face the opposite side of the house from my parents’ room. The only bad part is that they only lock from the inside, and I keep them unlocked in case I need to sneak back in. So if we get robbed before I come home, the guilt is all mine.

The houses in my neighborhood are pretty close together so you’d think there’d be substantial light, but there really isn’t. Some houses keep their porch lights or garage lights on even when it’s late, but most turn everything off, so it was a long and dark walk down the street. I’m not afraid of the dark, but I didn’t like being so exposed. What if someone creepy came by? Strangers in the daylight are fine, strangers at night are problems.

Andrew’s old Pontiac was a welcomed sight, and he had barely slowed down before I was already on the passenger’s seat and buckled in.

He blinked at my speed. “Oh, hello.”

I leaned over to kiss his cheek. “Hey. Alright, drive! You’re lingering.”

“Practicing to rob banks?”

“This is officially a crime scene. You could’ve been kidnapping me for all anyone knows,” I pointed out.

Andrew raised his eyebrows at he rearview mirror. “Who do you think was watching? It’s the middle of the night.”

“Yeah, you use that excuse,” I shook my head. “And there aren’t any security cameras in banks either, if you want to go there next.”

“You’re weird,” he laughed. “I hope you like cookies, because that’s pretty much all we have at my house as far as deserts go.”

I had to stop myself from breaking into “C is for Cookie”, the only song that I remembered from my Sesame Street days. But I was so relaxed that I could’ve done it and not been embarrassed. Things were normal! I hadn’t seen Andrew since right after Madison’s party and thought things might’ve been awkward, but they were so normal! It was good.

Andrew lived in a split-level house, where the kitchen was upstairs and the family room was downstairs – but not in the basement. It was a little backwards from what I was used to, which I liked. He brought down snacks while I pondered the late night TV line-up.

“Anything good on?” he asked, setting down a massive tray of cookies on the coffee table.

“Three’s Company, not much else. Are these leftover from Christmas?” I tossed him the remote in trade for a sugar cookie.

“How’d you guess?”

“The red and green sprinkles aren’t very subtle.”

“There were other colors but I ate them all. We have movies too, if you don’t want to watch this,” Andrew offered.

“Pig,” I sneered. “I like old shows. I used to watch I Dream of Jeannie all the time when I was little. I don’t think I understood all of it, though.”

“On Nick-at-Nite, right? I used to watch all those shows too. I liked the theme songs.”

I rolled my eyes. “You are such a music nerd. Have you decided where you’re going to school yet?”

He shook his head. “I’ve heard back from Temple and Westchester, but I’m still waiting for a few more. I think Temple sounds good, though.”

“Lets hope so; you did apply there.”

I wondered what would happen when we went to college. Ever since I started dating, I had never had a boyfriend make it through the whole summer. Even if Andrew and I made it to August, how would we handle the distance? I didn’t want to break up, then or ever, but it wasn’t just my decision. Besides, I didn’t even know where I was going to school. Only half of my few college applications were turned in, and I wasn’t expecting great results. My friends kept reminding me of the community college, thinking they were making me feel better, but I didn’t want to go to school with the same kids from high school when everyone else was somewhere better. For that matter, I wasn’t so sure I really wanted to go to college.

I put my college thoughts out of my head for the night, instead watching TV and talking with Andrew. It was a little surprising. The last time we were together, a major step was taken. There wasn’t anything awkward about hanging out, but it was half an hour before we sat closer than arms length, and that was where we fell asleep, only two hours or so after I’d gotten there. And I can’t complain – I was genuinely happy to just sit around and talk. I wouldn’t even have to lie to Dawn about it!

           

            “You watched Three’s Company all night and didn’t even get caught. Astounding.” Dawn was shaking her head over her pizza slice.

            I smiled as I ate. “I know,” I said, my mouth full. “I got home around eight, went in through the basement, and met my dad in the kitchen. He just assumed I’d gone down there before he woke up.”

            We were sitting in the pizza parlor down the street from the school. My eyes were aching from only getting six hours of sleep, but I figured I’d just sleep late tomorrow. Anyway, besides being droopy-eyed, I didn’t feel tired. It was the middle of a freezing afternoon and Dawn and I were eating our pizza as close to the heater as possible.

            “And you just talked? Seriously?” Dawn’s eyes were wide, like she was waiting to hear some gruesome detail that would just make her cover her ears. I was almost sorry to disappoint her, although it saved me from having to roll my eyes. Instead, I dropped my pizza on the paper plate in mock offense.

            “What did you expect me to do?” I shot back.

            “You know quite well,” Dawn answered primly. “And really I mean anything. No kissing, no nothing?”

            I nodded. “Yeah. We just talked and fell asleep watching TV. It was nice.”

            Dawn grinned. “You guys are boring.”

            “Well, if you want fun details,” I added. “Andrew fell asleep first, and I in my good graces opted not to take advantage of him.”

            “Juicy,” Dawn said dryly. “I feel like I’m reading one of Anne’s smutty books.”

            “I know, my life impresses even me.” I sighed happily. “Isn’t your sister like thirteen?”

            Wide eyes again, warning me this time. “Only if you want her to kill you.” Dawn’s sister had never appreciated it when I accidentally called her younger than she was, and Dawn didn’t appreciate having to deal with it. “She’s fifteen now, can you believe it?”

            I tore the crust in half and bit it. “No,” and frankly, I couldn’t. “What’s she doing reading smut?”

            Dawn rubbed her forehead. “Our old neighbor gave my mom this box full of books before she moved, and I don’t think my mom actually read them. She just hands them out whenever Anne complains of being bored.”

            “Wow. I wish my mom kept books like those around the house, I’d read all the time.”

            “Right,” Dawn grimaced. “Instead, you just live it.”

            And Dawn didn’t even know the half of it. Not the real half, anyway. Not that it was her fault for not knowing, either. Still, I wasn’t about to get into that conversation yet.

            “You said you had presents.” The transition between topics wasn’t exactly smooth, but Dawn chose not to pick up on it. Instead she lifted a brown bag off the floor and pulled a brightly colored box out of it.

            “It’s nothing special. I had no idea what to get you, so if you want to return it for something better, that’s cool,” she apologized.

            “Deal,” I agreed, handing her my own wrapped box. “Except your gift really is fabulous and if you return it I’ll be mortally offended and never speak to you again. No joke.”

            We unwrapped at the same time, neither watching the other in case we had to have time to mask disgust.

            “Dawn!” I shrieked. “These are like radioactive colors! I have never seen nail polish this shade of purple!” I didn’t know where she had found such a perfect collection of crazy nail polish, but that’s what it was; perfect. I collected nail polish and didn’t mind getting two or more of the same color, but new and fun colors were always a plus. “Aww, there’s even a funky nail file and junk!”

            “I can’t believe you actually got me a purse,” Dawn said, staring at the brown handbag in the box. “I kind of thought you were joking about it.”

            “Dawn, there’s nothing funny about a messy little purse,” I insisted. “You pretty much have to actually use it; it’s a real Louis Vuitton, so you have to brag about it to people. Even Madison doesn’t have one.”

            “Aren’t these kind of expensive?”

            “They can be, if you aren’t close personal friends with the cashier at the King of Prussia store.” Or if your parents are close personal friends with them. Okay, in all honesty, the purse was a present for my birthday from my mom’s brother-in-law’s cashier niece, but I already had a perfectly good Prada purse so I decided to share the wealth.

            “Oh, now I feel really cheap. I don’t think I can take this…” Dawn had that pained life-is-miserable look that she got whenever she talked about work.

            “No, because it’s a gift, and I’m happy with mine so we can’t trade back,” I said quickly. “Why don’t you pay for my pizza and we’ll call it even?”

            Dawn hesitated, still staring at the new purse. “Well, okay. Even though this won’t even begin to cover it...”

            “If you promise to show it off while Madison’s around, I’ll die happy.”

            She smirked at me. “Why do you want to make your friend jealous?”

            “Because if we don’t get to her first, she’ll do it herself. Even if she gets a purse like this somewhere down the line, as long as you had it before her, she’s old hat. And she gloats so much about everything as it is, I’m sorry, I just can’t help it,” I admitted.

            I didn’t tell Dawn that the real glory of it would just be the fact that it was Dawn with the expensive new purse. Madison always belittled her and expected her to have nothing; I couldn’t wait to see the look of shock as she realized that Dawn owned a purse that Madison’s parents refused to buy her.

            “Oh, but don’t mention that I got it for you,” I warned her. “That might ruin it.”

            “Why?” Dawn asked. “It was really sweet of you!”

            “I know, I know,” I gloated. “It’s just that, if Madison knows that I got it for you, I don’t know, then it won’t be as important to her. Then she’ll just be trying to outspend me, not you, and that’s completely different,” I explained.

            Dawn squinted at me. “She can already outspend me; she doesn’t have to try to prove that.”

            “Exactly! I want her to think that maybe she does have to try to outspend you!” Was it really so hard to understand? Sometimes I wondered how separate my world really was from Dawn’s.

            “You’re sick, did you know that? Sick and twisted. And mental games are supposed to be my playing field, not yours,” Dawn said, just barely smiling.

            I clasped my hands together over the pizza. “If you love me at all, you’ll do it.”

            She looked at the ceiling and shook her head. “You sound like Anne of Green Gables. Should I pinky swear on it, too? Maybe we should hold hands and cross our hearts and make some kind of solemn vow to screw with Madison’s mind.”

            “We could do an animal sacrifice too. I’m not squeamish,” I suggested.

            Dawn laughed. “Hey, I have no problem with letting Madison think that I can afford this kind of purse. Just as long as you don’t kill an animal over it, it’s a deal.”

            I giggled and proceeded to explain to Dawn how I planned to use my new nail polish. I liked a new color every couple of days, so I planned to start with the neon purple and work my way down to electric blue before the end of the first week back at school. Everything was so normal. My nails, my boyfriend, and my best friend. I didn’t even know why I thought things might change, things that didn’t have to change. Maybe one weird thing makes everything seem a little weird at first. In any case, I was relieved that nothing was weird. I was even kind of looking forward to going back to school.

            Is that weird?

Author's Note

I think there's a lot of implying in this chapter, rather than just saying it - would just saying it be better? I'm not really sure how to get things across without being too blunt or too crude, but it'll take another chapter to come out officially anyway - I know this is horribly slow, that's why I need to finish the whole thing so I can start rewriting it all!