Dark Bargain

A lady contracts a necromancer to bring her dead lover back to life.

“What have you done to him? This isn’t the deal we struck!”

Ranko’s features were wrought with a scowl that betrayed her anger and shock towards the situation at hand. Her hands were balled up into fists, and her nails were digging into her palms as she all but spat the words at the robed figure standing before her.

Adorned from head to toe in sanguine regalia that seemed to be dyed with fresh blood, he loomed over her like a shadowy wraith. Faceless and enigmatic, his gnarled, rotting hands held a morbid fetish in the form of a polished skull that shone from years of meticulous care.

“You wanted him back by your side. In that, I have succeeded.” The robed figure replied slowly as his gnarled hands caressed the fetish lovingly as if in tandem with each spoken word. A sinister red glow could be seen emanating from his hooded visage, eyeing her annoyance warily, as though expecting some form of reprisal.

“Don’t be ridiculous! Look at him! He... he’s not my Yuji!” Ranko exclaimed, gesturing toward the shambling figure that stood in between them to prove her point.

As if responding to her voice, it shuffled lazily in place while its lidless, dull eyes lay fixated on her. Its arms flailed weakly in the air, as if grasping for something. Constant, faint groans could also be heard from its half opened mouth, which, along with its actions, made it seem as though the cadaver was cast adrift in a nightmare, denied its due of peaceful rest.

While seemingly a loathsome creature, the shambling cadaver was in fact what remained of Yuji, the one who had set her heart aflutter, a feat no other man could ever boast of. Despite being from different worlds, they were to live happily ever after, married into her aristocratic household to be a consort to her every whim.

It was almost... storybook, Ranko mused to herself as her eyes gazed into the dull orbs of what was once the bright green eyes of her one true love. Sadly, it was not to be, for his throat was slit rather unceremoniously one night as they lay together in her quarters. Strangely enough, the men behind this foul deed had left her alone, leaving her to wonder if his killers were brought forth by her father’s machinations. After all, he had disapproved of their love, seeing Yuji as a little more than a pest looking to ascend the social ladder.

At this point however, such contemplations were trivialities, for she had taken care of him and his helpers, leaving the rats and vultures a feast unlike any other.  Initially, she thought that revenge would bring a satisfying end to this chapter of her life. Rather, it left her wanting, for the cold embrace of vengeance was unable to fill the void of a missing lover. Now, she wanted him back, no matter the cost.

And thus, the tangled web of destiny had led her to this fetid chamber within the warren of sewers beneath her estate, entreating her with a man of ill repute. If anything, the whole situation seemed little more than a cruel mockery, as though the gods themselves were laughing at her fate.

“My lady, was this not what you wanted?” The robed man asked, sensing his employer’s distress.

“You said that you could revive him, not create a monster!”

“Don’t deceive yourself. He was never so much a lover to you than a toy. Now, he is the culmination of everything you’ve always wanted. He cannot question, he cannot feel pain, and he cannot die!” The robed man raised a gnarled finger into the air to punctuate his point, ignoring Ranko’s daggered gaze at his incredulous statement.

She wanted very much to make the robed man bleed for his insolence, but she stayed her hand. After all, she knew him to be a dangerous man, well versed in all manner of foul sorcery, judging from the state of her former lover and the extensive record of her father’s dealings with him.

Yet, despite his dark powers, she had a grip over his every move that lay beyond the realms of might and magic. After all, if it weren’t for her family's patronage, he would have been hung like the mongrel he was by less tolerant folk.

Still, his words, as arrogant as they were, struck a chord within her. While she abhorred his attitude towards the situation at hand, he did have a point. After all, she cared only for the embrace of Yuji’s flesh and his good looks. It was a truth that she held deep within her heart, having met many a suitor interested only in her body and wealth. In a way, she had become like them, but despite the irony, she didn’t care.

“I...”

Ranko paused mid-speech, her lips and eyebrows furrowing as she contemplated the robed man’s words. Upon closer inspection, his blonde hair and muscled body were mostly intact (aside from a rather nasty slash on the throat), much to her delight. Aside from the dull, colourless eyes, he was still the same lover she once treasured with all her heart, at least in the flesh. Perhaps, they could now live happily ever after, much like in the fairytales she loved as a child.

“Mistress.... help... me....”

"If only..." Ranko mused to herself, ignoring the robed man and his shambling creation as her mind lay deep in thought, her mind awash with memories of the past.

Sadly, as much as she wanted it to be true, it could not be so, for deep within in her heart, she knew that it was no longer possible to go back to those happy days. After all, what good was toying with something that could feel nothing? Ultimately, it was his suffering that made it fun, and sadly, this pleasure was now lost forever.

“My lady?”

The robed man’s words shook her out of her thoughts, bringing her back to reality in a rather unceremonious fashion.

“Dispose of it at once. I have no need for this... abomination.”

Looking upon the loathsome man and his equally loathsome creation with equal measure of disgust, Ranko turned to leave. Based on what she had seen, it was now sufficiently clear to her that her desire was firmly beyond her grasp.

“What about my payment?” The robed man hissed, fingers clenched over his fetish in a vice-like grip. The red glows emanating from the slits in his hood were now contorted into a scowl, his anger clear at the prospect of a broken deal.

Turning on her heel to face him, Ranko laughed heartily, amused and annoyed by his lack of shame towards failure. But even then, her face betrayed her ire towards him, causing the master of the dead to tremble within the multiple folds of his sanguine robes.

“Be grateful that despite this disappointment, I have left you unscathed,” Ranko paused, savouring the robed man’s terror with the relish of a refined connoisseur. “Upset me further, and you shall join your beloved creations... necromancer!” she spat, silencing him through the sheer venom laced in her words. Leaving the robed man to languish in his position within her world, she turned to leave once more.

Weary from the fruitless endeavour she had partaken in, Ranko strode swiftly out of the necromancer’s lair and back into the warren of sewers, eager to return home. Now, she needed a warm bath to rid herself of the foul stench of her surroundings, along with the taint of the devil she had attempted to bargain with.

Author's Note

Hi!

Do let me know what you think! If you've enjoyed this story, do check out my book on the Amazon Kindle Store, The Best of Aurafiex - A Short Story Collection.

Buy it now at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01GX7EVLC

Have a nice day!

Reviews

[Ted Kniffen]

Ah, quite the nice little bit of writing. This scene holds the attention quite well. Royalty and necromancers, what could be better? The dialogue comes across realistically and the descriptions are good. Good write

[barleygirl]

If you do all this writing on your phone, then you deserve a prize! The mechanics of your writing are spot-on & your storytelling is imaginative. I'm not into this genre very much, but I do get a little hankering for it around Halloween time *heh! heh! heh!* I think the most creative part of your story: "seemingly a loathsome creature, the shambling cadaver was in fact what remained of Yuji, the one who had set her heart aflutter" . . . plus, your word-crafting is intense & well-bloodied in keeping this true to the genre, but also fresh & original.

[Aurafiex]

Hah! I do a lot of my writing on the phone, yes. Microsoft Word app, although I do take to my PC to edit and touch up before I upload.

And yes, guilty, a bit of a showman. I like flowery and overly complicated language.

[barleygirl]

I love words & some people fault me for using words that are not well known or understood. I don't care. I love words. My pieces often feel complex to some readers, as you've mentioned about yours. But the golden rule is to write what you know, becuz this results in the best writing.

[richieb]

For me this is your best writing that I have read. The story has a relaxed flow making it easy to read. Your writing is tight and polished. Your characters are alive and full of emotion. Your story is very interesting and well thought out. I enjoyed it very much.
Richie.

[TheMalady]

What you got here is an interesting story, almost like a 'slice of life' genre however it runs deeper, masking the terror enveloping society today. You have your own way of introducing the story, in your own point of view, you want it to be brief without extending and further explaining the situation, almost as if an open-ended discussion inside a classroom. Perhaps, you could include in your tags that this is just a brief story. Overall, nice job here. I don't have anything to add since you've already explained your style of writing. Thanks for sharing!

[Aurafiex]

Don't mind me asking, but were you referring to another story?

[Jacob Clifford]

I concur with hcarson's opinions, haha. And BThomvanWart made some very good points. I feel mostly there could be some expansion and a drier, deeper tone, to fit the situation.

[Aurafiex]

What do you mean by a drier, deeper tone?

[Jacob Clifford]

I think darker would have been a better word than dry. By deeper, I meant grittier or starker. Rough. Right now, the story feels like a big bag of emotions and doesn't have much to make the reader feel what the character feels. I guess, in short, make it more relatable, for lack of a better word.

[Jacob Clifford]

Sorry. "Immersive" is the word I was looking for.

[BThomvanWart]

"Alas, revenge left her wanting" I would just add a semi-colon after this because the thought continues and it would look cleaner. Also, perhaps wanting could be turned into 'yearning'? Or 'desire'?

I understand the use of descriptive words is important, but sometimes it can muddle your intention for the story. Using words not often used can actually cause more barriers, not to say that you're in the wrong for it. But, you'll have to consider the audience you want this to be directed towards. Your vocabulary is great, but someone younger may not necessarily comprehend all of the words which would lead them to reading the dictionary instead of your work.

"She wanted very much to make the robed man bleed, but she stayed her hand." Yes, this is an okay line, but read it out loud to yourself or have someone else read it and it might be kind of like speaking with a hunk of ice in your mouth. Perhaps rework it?

"Yet, despite his dark powers, she still have a grip over him[...]" I think the paragraph contains a few run on sentences. There needs to be a break between your words or they end up getting mixed and confused. Punctuation is important! It's right up there with organization.

"Having met many a suitor who were only interested her body and wealth" 'In' might help make the sentence run smoother?

"Ranko paused, her lips and eyes furrowing" I don't really think eyes can furrow. But, definitely eyebrows, right?

Overall, the story is good. But, there is definitely room for improvement. The situation, I think, needs a little more elaboration. Perhaps instead of starting in the lair, it could be Ranko approaching through the sewers towards the lair? Make it feel more like you're stepping into the story instead of jumping into it. Of course, the story reads fine as is, but it could add more depth to your story. Especially if you're going to continue this piece into a book-length affair.

I apologize if anything seems harsh, it's not meant to be! xx

[Aurafiex]

Thanks for the helpful comments! I'll get to editing it tonight. I do agree that theres plenty to work on, so yeah, this is far for the finap draft!

[BThomvanWart]

You're more than welcome! I hope to read more of your work in the future! :)

[Aurafiex]

I've edited it some, so do let me know what you think! (as well as any typos, I'm reeeaaallly bad at spotting those!)

[hcarson]

Hmm wish that necromancer had cut her spoilt, attitudy head off...brat lol...very good...if there is more chapter i hope she gets a slap lol full marks,