Тоска

I wish i was you,
You with your too serene life

Your cat's antics making you laugh
Your father, holding you close in that photograph
(I've saved it in a folder that no one will find)
Your mother calling me to ask if i saw you,
picks at my heart's broken half .

Yet why is it that you're so unhappy
I love you too much to call you haughty

So i pretend I'm you,
Trying to mimick your deadpan stare and a look so blue
But i ended up with a scratch from "pookie"
And my parents forgot me.

I wonder if i want you or want to be you
when i read all the poems i wrote of you.
God it drives me crazy, the amount i think of you
when you don't even see me the way I do
(Or do you?..)

Author's Note

I lost the original version, along with many other drafts i wrote😓..this is all i remember..a lesson to write poems in paper instead of my phone..