Тоска

I wish i was you,
You with your too serene life

Your cat's antics making you laugh
Your father, holding you close in that photograph
(I've saved it in a folder that no one will find)
Your mother calling me to ask if i saw you,
picks at my heart's broken half .

Yet why is it that you're so unhappy
I love you too much to call you haughty

So i pretend I'm you,
Trying to mimick your deadpan stare and a look so blue
But i ended up with a scratch from "pookie"
And my parents forgot me.

I wonder if i want you or want to be you
when i read all the poems i wrote of you.
God it drives me crazy, the amount i think of you
when you don't even see me the way I do
(Or do you?..)

Author's Note

I lost the original version, along with many other drafts i wrote😓..this is all i remember..a lesson to write poems in paper instead of my phone..

Reviews

[Beren]

when i started reading i was thinking "this is too fragile a story for me to comment on" and i read the first sentence of the last line and that's exactly what i thought. "I wonder if i want you or want to be you"
these reminded me some songs but i can't remember their names now, i'll let you know later
i think you are very good at getting your words into the reader's heart. and for no reason i felt extremely calm while reading your poems, i slowed down as if there was a hand stroking my hair. your writing is really captivating, i felt like you slightly cleared the paths between the chaos in my brain, you know?

wow really good.