Spiral Notebook of Time

Speed typed this in 5 or so minutes for creative writing class. I'm not good at second person, so I thought this was on opportune practice time for me. It's really cheesy. You have been warned.

Spiral Notebook of Time

Cold. Dark. Spiraling.

The clouds of this Earth are colored with cotton and hardened by bloodshed. They are close enough to touch, yet far enough away to lose yourself in the stark cerulean wasteland. Though it is bright, there is not source of light ahead nor behind.

      You realize, as your muddled thinking slightly clears, the light radiates from you.

      Raising your hand, a rough, scarred thing, the flames that flicker from your fingertips frighten you. It hurts, but isn't really painful, like an itch you can't quite scratch.

      Glancing down to your other fist, which is also writhing with tendrils of fire, though they are duller than your other hand's, you are clenching onto a rope. You tug on it and you know it is definitely tied to something, but where and what it is eludes you. The long stretch of rotting, breaking rope stretches out completely in either direction, across the entire horizon, never ending.

When you turn away, a young man is standing there, like you are, suspended in the skies, but without the fire and without the rope. He is familiar, but you find it hard to place him.

      His manner of speaking is quiet but not gentle, blunt but not rough. An ache in your chest begins. You have seen him before! You know you have! You shouldn't have forgotten who he was, but no matter how hard you try, he sits perched just on the edge of your memories.

"It's time to leave," he says, and his irises seem to melt to puddles of molten gold. "Just let go."

      You have no idea why, but you start to panic. Leave? Where to? You look down again. If you let go of this rope, it would end, right? 

      You don't want whatever was ending to end.

"No," you say sadly, like a child. "I don't want to go anywhere."

      He finally smiles, and this time it is real, full of actual warmth, and you know where  you've seen him. You are afraid, but you suddenly feel safe, as well. It will be fine.

      

      "Come with me," his voice soothing, and he grabs onto the rope, gripping it between his thumb and forefinger. "It will be perfectly fine." He echoes your thoughts.

Tears are beginning to well up in your wind-dried eyes, so you quickly nod your assent before you start to cry. An image forms in you mind: bits and pieces of your past written on thin, yellowed sheets of notebook paper, being pulled out from your hesitant grip and swept away with the ocean air. You focus once again just as the man lightly pinches the brittle rope, and it falls apart like a spiderweb. The flames vanish.

      And then you are spiraling once more, but not to your death. This time, to life. But your veins are still filled with ice.

You are standing in front of a marble, ornately carved pedestal, and on it lays a plain green notebook, not unlike the ones you once, seemingly an eternity ago, spilled your heart onto.

      Scrawled in thick, strong-smelling black marker across the cover spells simply: "The passage of time..."

If your heart were still beating, you would hear it hammer in your ears, deafening you with sound.

      But all is silent. Though its form has changed, hope is still present. The voice of your imagined heart settles into a quieter rhythm. Is this peace that you have found?

You slowly, timidly pull open the notebook to the first page. "...should hinder no man." You read aloud, and your voice is steady.

      Your vision gleams, and everything is shining, eerily sharpened, but everything soon fades to gray.

You are spiraling down once more, but this time it isn't dark or cold. It's warm as a rare summer rain and everything is awash in a pale yellow glow.

      A sigh escapes your lips.

You've found it.

      Home.

Author's Note

I'm not impressed with how it turned out, but practice makes semi-good, eh?

Oh, and I was listening to Sounds of Life by Pendulum while writing this. Has some nice lyrics and techno is epic. Look it up, bro.

Reviews

[Imagine Blade]

This one is captivating. I commend how you describe the setting and the theme before anything else. They were just 3 words, but they were powerful.

"Cold. Dark. Spiraling."

This pulls the readers to the world you're making.

But just one tip: only on the spacings. Kindly give an allowance for spaces between dialogues because sometimes they're confusing. Just that though.

Expecting more out of this. ^^

[:-)]

Aw, thanks so much for the input!