Prompt 4: The Retrieval Department

Mark discovers he has lived beyond his death date and tries to get it resolved.

Most of my friends considered me unlucky.  That was because my date was the day after my twenty-first birthday, the day I would die, for reasons unknown.  My friends all were marked with dates far in the future, guaranteeing them long fruitful lives.  So, I was the anomaly, chosen by those who chose such things to die an early death. 

 

Of course, I had known this as long as I could remember, or at least from the time when I knew enough to ask what the date tattooed on my arm meant.  I remember the day my mother explained things.  I remember wondering why life was so important anyway.  I wasn’t the least bit upset.  In fact, I looked forward to my death.

 

That said, when I woke up in the alley beside my favorite bar and looked at the date on my watch, I felt like I had been screwed.  This was the day after my death day.  Someone had screwed something up, and I intended to find out who that someone was and make them fix things.  Of all the things I had looked forward to in life, my death day was the greatest.

 

Of course, as you might imagine, given that I woke up in an alley beside a bar, I was not in great shape.  I don’t know how much I drank, but I felt like I might die right then.  However, I didn’t die, so I got up, brushed myself off and went to the bar.

 

The bar, Harrigan’s, had just opened.  Krisztina, the day bartender looked up, shock on her face.  Of course, she knew my death day.  I should note that there had never been an instance when someone didn’t die on their death day.  So, you can imagine Krisztina’s shock.

 

“Mark, is that you?” said Krisztina.

 

“Yup.”

 

“You’re supposed to be…”

 

“I know.  Someone screwed up,” I said, sitting at the bar.

 

Krisztina knew me well enough to know that I wanted a beer and a shot of whiskey and quickly served me.

 

“Didn’t anyone from retrievals call you?” she said.

 

I looked at my phone, but saw no missed calls.  “Nope,” I said.

 

“Maybe they couldn’t find you? Where were you yesterday?”

 

“Well, I was here waiting to die, drinking far too much and then I guess I passed out in the alley.  At least, that’s where I woke up,” I said.

 

“So what are you going to do?” said Krisztina.

 

“I guess I’m going to call the retrieval department and have them take care of it.”

 

“Why would you do that?  Maybe they won’t figure it out and you’ll get to live.”

 

“I’d rather have them take care of it.  I was ready to die.”

 

“Really?” said Krisztina, shocked.

 

“Yeah.  It’s never bothered me.  In fact, I was looking forward to dying,” I said.

 

“They are going to take me on my sixty-sixth birthday,” said Krisztina.  “I still think that’s too soon.”

 

“Well, I don’t know.  Seems like a long time to me.  Too long,” I said.  I downed my shot and made a big dent in my beer before saying, “What do I owe you?”

 

“On the house, Mark.  Look, if I don’t see you again I want you to know that I’ve always liked you.  Just wanted you to know that,” said Krisztina.

 

It just so happened that I liked Krisztina, but had never made a move, thinking she wouldn’t be interested in someone with an early death date.  In fact, I had never been in a relationship because of my death date, not so much because nobody would have me as I just didn’t want to let someone get hurt.

 

“Thanks, Krisztina.  You know, I’ve always had a thing for you, but I figured that it would be a bad idea to try to get together with you if I was going to die soon.”

 

“I wish you had,” she said.

 

“I do too,” I said, meaning it.  “Okay.  I’ve got to go figure this out.”

 

I left the bar and went home.  There I got on my computer and found the number for the retrieval department.  I called, went through at least twelve steps and then finally got a hold of a person.

 

“Retrievals, this is Blake,” said the man on the line.

 

“Hey, my name is Mark Seidl and I was supposed to die yesterday, but I am still alive,” I said.

 

“One second, Mr. Seidl.  Let me look you up.  What is your birth ID?”

 

“009X23AZ,” I said.

 

“I have it.  Um, are you sure you’re Mark Seidl?” said Blake.

 

“Yes.  Why, is there a problem?”

 

“Well, Mark, you’re already dead.  You were retrieved yesterday at eleven thirty-seven in an alley next to Harrigan’s.”

 

“Then you got the wrong guy.  I was in that alley yesterday around that time, but I woke up there today and I am quite alive.”

 

“Let me explain,” said Blake.  “You are dead.  I understand you think you’re not dead, but let me assure you you are dead.  It happens sometimes, you know.  Not often, of course, but some people just don’t want to move on.”

 

“If I’m dead then how am I talking to you?” I said.

 

“That’s a good question.  Unfortunately, I don’t have an answer.  I could connect you to one of our counselors.  Maybe they can help you adjust to things,” said Blake.

 

“Look, I just want to be dead.  I don’t want to be half dead or whatever I am,” I said.

 

“We do not have the ability to send you off into the great beyond, Mr. Seidl.”

 

“So am I going to be like this forever?”

 

“Well, maybe not forever.  There are cases where the dead do move on, although not many.  I mean, I don’t want to get your hopes up.  Now, Mr. Seidl, there is an issue we need to talk about.  You’re apartment is going to be rented out and all of your belongings are going to be sold.  Further, whatever funds you have in your accounts will be appropriated by the retrieval department to cover the cost of your death.  I recognize this will leave you with no place to live and would like to encourage you to find lodgings with someone willing to take you in,” said Blake.

 

“Wait a minute,” I said, thinking things through.  “I still have physical form.  Did you take my body?  How did Krisztina see me?  How can you hear me?  Will I be hungry?  Can I feel cold?  I have a ton of questions.

 

“We did not take your body because you did not move on, so you are in your body right now.  That said, everyone can see, hear, touch, and smell you.  That brings me to something somewhat important.  Your body is going to decompose and when it does it will be difficult for people to be around you.  Oh, also, you can’t technically be hurt or feel cold and you won’t be hungry or anything like that, but you are going to decompose and that will be rather unpleasant for everyone around you,” said Blake.

 

“So, I’m going to decompose.  When I fully decompose will I be aware of what’s going on?” I said.

 

“Yes, you will, or at least we think you will.  For that reason, I have to advise you to find a way to move on into the great beyond,” said Blake.

 

“How long before I stink?”

 

“A few days,” said Blake.

 

“Well, nobody is going to take me in.  Don’t you have places for people like me?  Is there nowhere to go?” I said.

 

“We do not have any vacancies in our staging apartments right now, but I can get you on the waiting list,” said Blake.

 

“Please do.  Is there anyone who knows how I can get to the great beyond?”

 

“You could try a psychic.”

 

“Great.”

 

“Is there anything else I can help you with?” said Blake.

 

“No.  Thank you.”  I hung up and returned to the bar, explaining everything to Krisztina, who stared at me dumfounded for some time before saying, “You could move in with me.  I mean you could wear perfume and that should mask the smell.”

 

“I don’t want to put you through that.  Do you know any psychics?” I said.

 

“No, but we could find you one,” she said.

 

An hour later I knocked on the door of Diantha Blane, psychic, medium or whatever.  Krisztina found her on some website.  I gave Diantha a hundred dollars and she seated me in a small room with a round table in the center.  Sitting across from me, she asked me to place my hands on the table palms up.  She placed her hands on mine.

 

“Why did you want to die?” said Diantha.

 

“I don’t know.  I guess I didn’t see much point in living.”

 

“And while you were living did you live?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“What did you do with your life?” she said.

 

“I don’t know.  I had a crappy job and I drank a lot.  I didn’t have any real friends.  I mean, I didn’t want people to get too attached since I had such an early death date.  Does it matter?” I said.

 

“Well, do you regret that?” she said.

 

“I don’t know.  I don’t think so.  I was looking forward to dying and seeing the great beyond.”

 

“You have a love interest, I see,” said Diantha.

 

“Well, I don’t know if I would say that.  I like someone.  But, am I in love with her?”

 

“You do.  I can see it clearly now.  Mark, you will not be free until you resolve this issue.”

 

“It is resolved.  I can’t have her.  I’m dead.  So, I should be moving on,” I said, getting annoyed.

 

“No, it’s not.  You must have a relationship with her,” said Diantha.

 

“But, I’m dead.  She’ll never have a relationship with me.  Is there any other way?”

 

“I’m afraid not.”

 

I left Diantha and returned to the bar.  Krisztina poured me a beer.  I had no intention of telling Krisztina what Diantha had said, not wanting to put her in an uncomfortable position, so I told Krisztina that I had unresolved issues I had to deal with.  Krisztina asked me what those issues were and I said I didn’t know.  In that moment, two things happened.  Krisztina dropped to the ground behind the bar and two mean wearing uniforms, uniforms of employees of the retrieval department, rushed in the door.

 

“Where is she?” said one of them to me.

 

“Behind the bar,” I said.  “What’s going on?”

 

They rushed behind the bar, whispering to each other.  I heard one of them say, “There’s going to be hell to pay,” and the other say, “Well, how were we supposed to know.  They gave us the wrong ID.”

 

“Uh, guys, what’s going on?” I said.

 

The two men rose and Krisztina rose with them, staring right at me.  I knew then that she had died and that she hadn’t gone to the great beyond.

 

“Hey,” I said, ignoring the two completely befuddled employees of the retrieval department.  “I guess we’re in this together.”

 

“I guess we are,” she said.

Reviews

[BooKrazy]

Oh My God!!!!! This is just an awesome story!!! Cudnt believe it! Seriously, you've got some serious writing skills. Hope it gets you a long way in the future!