Chapter 6

He wanted all the trappings of a great life - his own place, a car, a wife and 2 kids (1 biological and 1 adopted) and a dog or cat.

It had been a great day so far! The sun was shining, the birds were chirping and he'd even got a seat on the train. Life was good. And he had a date tonight. A date. With a girl. With the girl.

He knew exactly how lucky he was. Not for him the uncertainty that comes with not knowing one's self. Nobody could ever say that he didn't know her value till she was gone. He knew exactly how valuable she was and he wasn't planning on letting go.

He had made no plans for the date because he wanted to just go with the flow. He wanted to seize the moment, carpe some diem and be the man that she would be knocked over by. And he knew he could do it too.

He had grown up knowing that he was the boy-next-door that every mom saw their daughter marrying. And he knew he'd make a great husband someday. Not cockiness. Simple self awareness. And if he knew he could make it happen, it was almost as good as it being done.

There's a certain kind of self assurance that comes with being a not-so-bad-looking only son of a middle class family. You grow up accustomed to certain privileges because you've never known a world without them. These privileges had shaped his psyche without him knowing it. They ensured that he never had a problem asking for an extension during school projects or a raise at work. They also ensured that if he was rejected by someone, he firmly believed it was their loss.

He smiled an open smile, wore an open heart and met the world head on. His only fear was death before his time but somehow he knew that wasn't happening soon. So all his concerns were in the here and now...

"Should I buy some flowers, ooh maybe some chocolates instead. Maybe I'll be Mr Spontaneity and get us both movie tickets. Either way she'll love the gesture. And then she'll smile her wonky smile. I'll get tickets to that horror movie so she can snuggle up with me. This is perfect."

Not for him her endless moments of self-questioning. He was making his life up as he went along and he was loving every moment of it. He was sure of success in both life and love; but that would be a very tidy story… and real life is never really tidy.

"Why did he chose a horror movie, is he childish enough to think I'd run into his arms for protection from the scary ghouls? Or did he just want a loud movie so they could make out. Oh does he want to make out? Have I worn any deo? I should've brushed my teeth before leaving. What if I've forgotten how to kiss? What if I am not a good kisser. Wait, what if he's not a good kisser? He looks like a normal kisser but what if he gets drooly? Oh wait, he's still waiting for me to agree to the movie. I don't know if I want to go..."

"There's that wonky smile of hers. It's like she's thinking cutely. We're going to have so much fun today! I just have to remember to buy the caramel popcorn."