5

Walking side by side isn't easy, have you noticed that? Even if you're not holding hands, there is so much you notice when you're first beginning to walk together. Do you match steps or walk at your own pace? Does it count as together if one of you is ahead of the other? But this was all in her head as she tried to keep up with him.

He didn't seem to even notice, just walked slightly ahead of her as if he knew she'd be there when he looked back. Her mind was racing - How do people grow so self assured? Where does that come from? Are people supposed to be that calm and happy in their heads? Why did it never happen with her?

It wasn't even a boy-girl thing; she felt the same way about walking with everyone. Except for when she was taught marching in school, why couldn't they have a class for social behaviour as well? Then maybe she'd know how long it was okay to keep quiet when you're alone with someone. Or how best to decline a kind but unnecessary offer.

Just then he turned back and smiled and her mind went blank for a gorgeous second. That moment of stillness was such a balm to her constantly moving mind that she was instantly hooked. Was that selfish? Wanting someone around only because of the way they made you feel? But she liked other things about him too, and if he liked her too… would that be enough?

He was walking just a little bit ahead thinking how perfectly life was turning out. He had a good job with a lot of growth options and now he'd met a great girl. Things were going to plan. He turned back and saw her walking a bit stiffly towards him and he couldn't help smiling. Isn't it lovely when people walk together?

Author's Note

5 th chapter

Reviews

[richieb]

Athena, this chapter shows off your own personal style of writing. You took the simple task of walking together and made it thought provoking and interesting. For now stay with your style. You have a unique way of presenting your thoughts into your story telling. As we write we will constantly be learning. Write your story and through honest educated critiques and your personal instincts you will learn what to change. For now be fearless and let your writing passion flow. Peace and Prayers, Richie B.

[Athena writes]

You are very kind. I'm trying to find my voice and how I want to tell this story, it still feels a little foreign to me. But that's why I came here, too hear unbiased and honest feedback and I can already feel it helping me.

[Colin]

This style of writing is very new to me, not the kind of writing I would normally pick up. I usually read (and write) action adventures, and avoid 'romance'.
Having said that I found your style quite compelling, and like every other reader I could detect aspects of my own life/nature in the story. The characters are very real, could that be a negative? we all like to read something of the hero/heroin in realistic situations. While I read I was silently yelling for the main character to do something extraordinary or shocking. My need for action I expect.
I could easily imagine some notable actress delivering this as a kind of monologue on stage. Although it work differently written in the first person.
Although I hate to sound sexist, I would think that this would be an appealing read for women.

[Athena writes]

That's a very good point. I do think that being real is my style of writing and I don't see my characters being too dramatic.I wish they were though. Lol. If a lot of women want to read my writing I'd be a very happy camper indeed. Thank you so so much for the review. Would dialogue make it more interesting?

[Colin]

That's a difficult one. For one thing, romance is not my forte so I have no real frame of reference.
Secondly, you have a distinctive voice, which I think is very important for a writer, so I think it would be worth developing along the same lines.
If I sound a bit vague you have to understand that your style is breaking new ground, and is very original. So I think that you need to be wary of being swayed in any direction.

[Athena writes]

wow, do you have any idea how amazing that review is? I would love to be thought of as distinctive and original. I'm trying to take this really slowly because this is so different from my usual sarcastic and clumsy writing. I'm working on a chapter from the guy's point of view. I hope you review it when its ready.

[Colin]

It will be a pleasure. Remember that while you are laying out the characters and setting the pace with your own style, don't forget to keep in mind a strong storyline.
The best writing style in the world only works if the story is good.
Good luck Athena.