As I Know

The hotter I burn 

the more her flame tends to heat, 

as my desirable climax tends to grow 

I cant help but notice that Im approach her peak

Ambitions becoming desires 

that I know my inner-being can reach

In the meanwhile my hearts in flurry, 

letting her know that im hers to keep

Nevermore have I been reassured about the thoughts that my oblivious conscience holds

Reviews

[Mazie]

Very passionate and personal. Though some words/phrasing I might change, I think it is very well done overall, and the message is still clear :)

[Nusquam Esse]

While hotter is just fine of a word choice, I would recommend considering using a word such as 'brighter' since otherwise, the first line feels a bit awkward; usually cliches should be avoided, but in this case, I think the cliche would work better and more naturally here.
I also find the saying 'tends to heat' to be far too passive and disconnected. By using a passive voice, you make this piece weak and emotionally detached. Try for a stronger description here, something more dynamic than 'tends to heat'
I would also suggest a different word than 'desirable' since while a climax is generally 'desirable' it would be better to word this with more impact; alluring, entrancing... something that gives it a more captivating nuance. And again, I find 'tends to' to be far too passive. Seriously, when you are writing something with so few words, for an emotional impact, avoid passive voice/fluff like the plague! If you only have fifty words, they better really count!
Alright... there is this thing called contractions, in which words are combined into a single word... ex. 'can't' 'I'm'... when you use these you NEED to put apostrophes in them. This is basic grammar, and neglecting this elementary bit of punctuation will make these stand out like a sore thumb. "I'm approach her peak" is incoherent and awkward... You need to either do "as I approach" or "that I'm approaching".
"in the meanwhile" is needlessly wordy, you are best keeping this succinct and cutting out redundancy in a piece such as this... try cutting out 'in the', since the sentence works just fine with 'meanwhile' This is optional however if you need the syllables to provide flow... however, I do recommend adding 'a' between 'in' and 'flurry'
then Heart's should likewise have an apostrophe, because it is combining the words "heart is", without the apostrophe, it is simply a plural form, as though you have several hearts (which the surrounding grammar does not support)
For these same reasons, you need to do "I'm her's", her's showing possession form.
Your final line is needlessly wordy, especially in juxtaposition with the rest of your poem, in general it is not a good idea to end a poem with a line which is twice the length of any other line. Either go for similar length, or try and end with just a few words (to give succinct impact)... Considering that the sentence is needlessly wordy, you should have no problems stating the same stuff with about half the words... if all else fails, try dividing the line, perhaps at 'that'.

To sum this all up... this poem has three predominate technical issues;
#1 apostrophes, learn to use them... this is a writing site, any respectable writer will be immediately turned away by such disregard for proper punctuation...
#2 excessive wordiness, by using redundant and unnecessary words you make your piece ramble in a way which makes it difficult for a reader to form any connection with it... for such a small poem, succinct is almost always better (Japanese poetry is a good example of this... Senryu)
#3 passive voice, it is something to be avoided in all writing since it bores the reader, and makes it difficult to connect emotionally... in which the writer seems detached and bored, and so the reader becomes that way as well. Emotional, short pieces are in particular, a susceptible format to passive voice; avoid it like the PLAGUE!!!

[AprilRN1210]

Do we ever really "know".... why is it "oblivious".. makes you wonder, and why it cannot be reassured..
deep, introspective, moving piece...

can I offer a few suggestions?

"I cant help but notice that Im approach her peak"... I would probably say, "I can't help but notice that as I approach her peak"... flows better...

"In the meanwhile my hearts in flurry,
letting her know that im hers to keep"..... here, I would say... "Meanwhile, my hearts in a flurry/letting her know that I'm hers to keep.".....

overall, very nice write that hits the reader with deep thoughts and conflicting emotions.. well done!

[KK]

Thanks but no thanks. Its written the way its suppose to be. I understand what "you would have said" , but then again im not you. But thanks for the comment.

[AprilRN1210]

Indeed you aren't.... no problem.. you're welcome...

[Mary Bosworth]

this is such a imagery fest for my senses and my mind's eye..This invokes all kinds of images and interpretations.

[KK]

Thank you Mary. Your thoughts are well appreciated. Glad you enjoyed

[Eve Ola]

very well portrayed by your words. I really enjoyed

[BrockGirl]

I feel like you are feeding off her. As her desires grow, so do yours. It's a win, win

[KK]

Yes. You portrayed that very well . Thank you

[Cory Barrett]

until we lay it all out there we never know the potential of us.

[KK]

Exactly my friend

[Matching Socks]

I love the little hint of vulnerability, letting someone know that you are theirs can be hard and it shows courage yet a soft sensitive side.

[Sophy Freebirds]

You become aware as you reach the climax yoy reach. Finding yourself by losing in her.. i can take it in two ways - may be its thoughts or your muse is a she. Either way its brilliant the way you have portrayed it. :)

~Sophy

[KK]

Sophy agaiinnn you have me very humbled and thankful (:

[Rene Salinas]

At times thoughts seem to be beond our control normally they appear random yet in here they seem to have a mission. A mission to remind him that the person he thinks about sparks in him all forms of very powerful feelings. As they bubble and boil and are about to cause trouble he puts them into context and they come as reafirmation of the desire you hold.

Intense feelings

Thankyou

[KK]

Thank you Rene. You get it.