Chapter One

Orange sunlight streamed through my window, I opened my eyes to see a semi-blurry world. At the foot of my bed, Mira, my dog, lay curled up. She was sleeping. I yawned and reached over to my nightstand. My hand patted around, then I felt my glasses. I grasped them, sat up, and put them on. My vision got even blurrier for a second, then I blinked and everything was normal. I got out of bed, which woke Mira up, and went downstairs to see my parents. Dad was getting breakfast ready, and Mom was sitting at the table waiting. Mom was wearing her usual, a blue and black striped tee-shirt, a black vest, black boots, and jean shorts. Dad was also wearing his casual clothes, a purple and white striped shirt, a black leather jacket with an ocelot head on the back of it, jeans, and brown boots. I walked to the table in in my purple-with-one-white-stripe shirt, jeans, and blue sneakers. I sat down. “Wait for it...Three...Two...One…” I started counting down. Then Jax, my brother, raced down the stairs from his room. His real name is Jackson, but we call him Jax. He was wearing a blue shirt with darker blue stripes, shorts, an old bandanna of Mom’s(for reasons completely unknown), and black sneakers.

“You’ll never believe what happened last night! There was this tapping on my bedroom wall that kept waking me up. Turns out it was a skeleton shooting arrows at it! So I went back to sleep. But when I woke up in the morning, it was still there! And it wasn’t even on fire! Weird, isn’t it?” He said. The words were so fast that it all sounded like one sentence. Mom chuckled.

“Maybe it was hiding out in the shade that our house provides?” Dad suggested.

“Ooohhh yeaaaaah. That’s probably it.”

“Jax…” I chuckled. Just then, there was a dinging sound. That was our doorbell that one of Mom and Dad’s friends Olivia had made. “I’ll get it!” I jumped up and ran to the door. When I opened the wooden door, I was greeted by a pleasant surprise. Olivia, in her green hat, steampunk goggles, red vest over a white shirt, black pants, and gray boots, was there, along with her husband, Axel, who wore a green and white sweatshirt, brown pants, and black shoes. Along with the adults were two kids, who were glaring at each other. Leah, a girl, wore glasses, red headphones, a red jacket, jeans, and red boots, and Avery, another girl, was dressed in a green hoodie-tee-shirt-thing, a green scarf, brown shorts, and black sneakers.

Olivia smiled. “Hi, Ari. Are your mom and dad home?”

“Yep! Come in,” I said, grinning. Leah, Avery, and I were best friends. Our parents were all part of ‘The New Order of the Stone’, a group dedicated to protecting the world from danger. Sometimes, we even called each other’s parents ‘Aunt’ and ‘Uncle’, that’s how close of family friends they were. Avery ran in, while Leah followed more slowly. Axel went in last.

“Hey, Petra. Lukas,” He greeted my parents. Dad waved.

“‘Sup, guys,” Mom said, “Are we just waiting on Jesse and Matt?”

“And Ivor,” Olivia reminded her. Mom laughed.

“How could I forget about him?”

I walked over. “Are you having another meeting?” I asked, “Aren’t they usually held in town?”

Dad gave the others a grin. “Today’s special,” He said.

“How?” I was dying to know. The adults usually left us kids out of the Order’s matters.

“You’ll find out.”

Now I was really excited. The members of the Order didn’t usually tell us kids what went on in the meetings. I turned back to Leah and Avery. “So, what do you guys want to do?” I asked. Leah looked out the window.

“I could use some wood for the note blocks I’m trying to make,” Leah suggested, “We could go get some wood for those.”

“Alright, let’s go!” I said. Jax grinned.

“I’ll make sure nothing tries to kill you guys while you’re punching wood,” He teased. I threw him a look.

“Make another smart remark, and I’ll be punching you,” I warned. Avery grinned.

“I’d like to see that,” She chuckled. Leah glared.

“Don’t.”

So, we headed outside. Our house is in the woods, just outside of town, so there were plenty of trees to choose from. We spent a good half hour or so gathering a lot of supplies, not just wood, before we started to head back. On the way, we passed a cave opening. A skeleton seeking shelter inside fired an arrow out at us, which caused Jax to charge in after it. He came out of the cave holding arrows and bones, with an arrow sticking out of his leg. Jax yanked the projectile out and proceeded to continue on with the group.

On the way back, we saw a couple of people in the woods. One was a brown haired man in a white dressy-ish shirt, red suspenders, and black boots. The other was a boy who also had brown hair. He wore a white jacket open over a red shirt. I ran over to them. “Hey! Jesse and Matt!” I called. They turned around.

“Oh, hey, Ari!” Matt said. Jesse lifted an eyebrow.

“Why are you guys all the way out here?” He asked.

“The New Order’s having a  meeting at my house,” I told him, “So we decided to get some wood.”

Jesse seemed to be satisfied. “Well, let’s get headed back, then.”

When we got back to my house, it was about midday. Ivor had already arrived, and Mom, Dad, Axel, and Olivia were all still inside. I opened the door and Jax rushed in. The rest followed, but Avery was the only one that ran. Everyone else walked, Jesse coming in last. He went over to the adults, and they seemed to discuss something. Avery walked up to me in the middle of it. “I know what they’re talking about,” She told me, “Wanna know?”

“No thanks,” I declined her offer. “It’s their choice whether they want to tell us or not.” At some unknown cue, all of the members of the New Order nodded. Well, except Ivor, who cheered. Jesse, being the leader and all, turned around.

“Ari, Leah, Avery, Jax, and Matt,” He called out our names one by one. Curious as to what he was going to say, we all looked at him. Jesse continued, “You have been curious about what goes on in the New Order of the Stone. Now,” He paused for dramatic effect, “You’re part of it!”

Reviews

[DB Heinemann]

Sorry I took so long in getting back to you. Life is so distracting. Anyways, I AM getting a bit of a preteen novel/80s sitcom feel to this. Like everything is super glossy and perfect and "oh you". This isn't good or bad, just a heads up on the vibe. Though with that, the dialogue can come off a bit awkward. Though this one isn't too bad. I like the descriptions and the set up of characters.
I feel like Ari might have been a little more persistent when finding the Order was meeting at her house. Also that the grown ups would've been the ones to shoo the kids out, not the kids themselves in an attempt to punch wood. Especially after being told they might find out what's so special about today. I would have expected some minor pestering at least. Like a "When?!" at the very least.
I also think that whole section where they're in the woods is a little close to telling, not showing. At least with the tenses. I think this would be a good time to add some dialogue which could include include Ari and co. discussing what the Order could be discussing. Then an arrow could interrupt them, which makes Jax announce he's going after the skeleton, but all in present tense. It'll give you more of a chance to give some background to the story as well as give your characters more of a profile.
Also, are Matt and Jesse also kids or are they adults too? I don't think that was made very clear.
Otherwise, I think it was a pretty well written piece. Not too many grammatical errors and pretty consistent, well told storyline. All the above are my only real complaints. Keep up the good work! Practice makes perfect.

[Cloudswift]

Aaah! I haven't been on this site in literally AGES, so I wasn't able to read your review. Sorry! Thanks for the second opinion, it means a lot to me! :)

[DB Heinemann]

Ha, yea, anytime. I'm the same. I almost never come on here anymore.