Chapter One

First chapter. It needs a lot of work, but here it is.

I woke up and slid groggily out of bed. I trudged over to where I thought the bathroom door was, and was surprised when I ran into an empty wall. Confused, I turned and noticed that nothing was where it was supposed to be; in fact, there wasn’t anything in here that even resembled my room. Most of all, there were three sleeping bodies huddled in the bed I’d just come from, none of them familiar. My mind raced at the possibilities. What was going on? I noticed a door at the far end of the room and hurried over to it. I tried the handle but it didn’t open. I was locked in an unfamiliar room with three strange people I’d never seen before. This was bad. I started to panick.

       I didn’t know what to do. Did I wait for them to wake up to find out what was going on, or did I wake them up? I paced the room and weighed my options. Suddenly, I heard rustling from the bed. My heart raced. Should I hide? Should I stand there in plain sight? Would they know what was going on? My body would budge, so I guess I’d be standing in the same place when they saw me. It seemed like ages until they finally stood from the bed and noticed me.

       “What? Who are you?” A tall, lanky boy with a southern accent and dark black hair asked as he ran a hand through his hair.

       “I… who are you?” I asked. Obviously he had no idea what was going on either.

       “Shouldn’t you know, I mean you are in my… room?” His eyes widened as the realization spread across his face.

“Yeah, that’s how I felt. Look at the bed.” I said, and he turned to look.

       “What the…” He said as he starred. “What is this? Who are these people?”

       “I have no idea.” I said truthfully. How did this happen?

       “Where am I?” He asked, more to himself.

       “I don’t know, but the door’s locked. We’re trapped in here.” I said even though I’d known he wasn’t expecting an answer.

       “Excuse me? Why? I just… I don’t understand.” His face was completely full of confusion and he scratched his head with one hand.

       “Me neither.” I said, just as another body rose from the bed with a stretch.

       “Whoa, who are you two?” A good-looking boy with dark brown hair and bright green eyes said.

       “We don’t know you, this isn’t your room, and we’re all trapped in here. That pretty much sums it up.” Said the southern boy with a huff.

       “What are you…?” The green-eyed boy started with arrogance until he realized the southern boy was right. “Holy crap. How did this happen? Did we all sleep in this bed? Gross.”

       “I have no clue what is going on,” I said a little shyly. Though we were trapped and I had other things to worry about, he was pretty cute.

       “And yes, we did all sleep in the bed together.” Said the southern boy with a short laugh.

       “Weird.” The green-eyed boy replied, and then turned to the last sleeping person. “Hey, wake up!” He shoved on the girl until she finally woke up, stretching and breathing loudly. The southern boy snickered a little and I gave him a weird look. He stopped laughing and stood still.

       “What? Who? I’m sleeping!” She shouted and rolled over so that her face was smashed into her pillow.

       “Well not anymore!” The green-eyed boy said, and with one swift movement, shoved her off the bed.   

       “Hey!” she shouted and stood up fiercely. “Are you kidding me right now? I can’t believe you just did that!” and then it dawned on her. “Wait, who are you?”   

       The southern boy began to laugh again and I joined him. His laugh was infectious and comforted me. Even the green-eyed boy joined in. The girl however, didn’t. She kept her eyes locked on the green-eyed boy and her face was red. Once our laughter died down the room went silent.

       “What the hell are you starring at?” The green-eyed boy snapped.

       The girl starred at him hard, like she was deciding if she should reply or not. Then she did, “If you weren’t cute you’d be dead right now.”

       “Oh really? Are we going to start this? You do realize we are locked in this room until God knows when with each other. Do you really want me ticked off?” The green-eyed boy snapped back quickly.   

       “The question really is, do you want ME ticked off, and you answered that when you pushed me off that bed. Now shut up before I cut you.” She growled. Honestly I was way more afraid of what she would do. She looked dark and beautiful, the way a gun looks. Beautiful but deadly. Her eyes were ice blue and hair was deep black and hung down to the middle of her back. She looked like one of those super villains from the cartoons. She was definitely on my list of people to never ever mess with.       

       The green-eyed boy on the other hand, was very attractive and the way he stood and talked seemed to make him powerful, but in a different way. He was muscular and very tall, but I wasn’t afraid of him like I was her. He seemed laid back and easy going, like he couldn’t hurt a fly. He seemed to think differently though.

       The green-eyed boy started to reply but the southern boy stopped him. “Stop.” He said with a sort of growl that made his face look fierce. A few minutes ago he’d been a giggling mess, but now he looked serious. “This isn’t some joke. We need to figure out what’s going on. Just deal with each other.”

       I shook my head in agreement. “Look, I know it seems like nothing could be wrong. I know it’s weird to think that something could happen to you, but something has, unless one of you knows where we are and what’s going on.” I said. I looked around at their faces and saw that no one had any idea. “Right, what is the last thing you can remember?” I paused. “And could you please tell me your names?”

       Green-eyed boy cleared his throat and said, “I’m Kyle.” I paused and looked around at us. “The last thing I remember is taking a shower and just going to bed. That’s it. Then I woke up here.”

       I looked around at the others and saw they were in no rush to answer, so I did. “Well, I’m Amrit. I don’t even remember going to bed last night. I just remember walking in my door last night after a game. Then nothing.” I felt a little more panic well up inside me. If I was here, did whoever had me also have my family? Why had they even taken me?

       “And uh, I’m Seth.” Said the southern boy. “I honestly don’t remember anything. My head seems all foggy.” I gave him a look. Now that he said something, that’s how I felt too, like a slow fog was drifting over my mind.

       “Saving the best for last are we?” Said the girl, “I’m Alice. My story is all we’ve got. I remember going to bed and waking up in the middle of the night. I heard these noises and I wanted to get up. I wanted to find out what they were, but I couldn’t move. I just heard something that sounded like whispering. Then I fell back asleep.” 

       We looked around at each other. In my gut I knew this wasn’t some prank, or a mistake, I knew this wasn’t good. I had a feeling we might not get out of here, but I tried to stay calm.

       “I guess the only thing we can do is wait and find out what they want with us.” Said Alice matter of factly. She didn’t seem worried at all.

       “But wait for what?” Said Seth. “We have no idea how we somehow got trapped in this room with three other people we’ve never met in our lives.

Who knows what kind of person is on the other side of that door. Who knows what they are planning on doing with us.” His voice seemed shaky in a hidden way, like he was trying just as hard as I was to keep calm.

       “There isn’t much else we can do.” I said.

       “We can at least try.” Said Seth, in a small voice. He knew as well as I did that there was no way out. He knew that this wasn’t some joke. 

       “What is there to try, Seth?” Alice said, looking a little awkward after using his name.

       “I don’t know. If ya’ll didn’t just give up before you even tried anything, we might be able to get somewhere.” Seth said sounding a little frustrated and worried at the same time. “Our families have to be worrying.”   

       “We aren’t giving up, there’s just not any-“ Alice said, being cut off by a low moaning and then a scream.    

       Kyle was lying on the floor motionless. His eyes were tightly closed and a low whimpering escaped his mouth.

       “Kyle?” Seth asked with all frustration gone. Fear now filled his voice. “What is happening to him?”

       Alice finally looked scared. For a whole minute Kyle didn’t move. “What if… what if this happens to all of us?” Alice asked with fear in her voice that she tried to hide. Kyle’s body began to shake fiercely and he balled his hands into such tight fists that his hands turned white. Then his eyes flew open and he screamed a blood-curdling scream. Alice screamed with him.

       My heart raced as I bent down to him. His eyes were still open and they were looking frantically around the room. His body still shook but he didn’t seem able to move. “K… Kyle?” I asked, not expecting an answer. I didn’t get one, instead, his eyelids slammed shut, his body went limp, and he was no longer shaking. I shook him and said his name again. No response. “Oh my God.” I whispered to myself. I felt my body shaking.

       “What is happening to him?” Seth said with wide eyes and panic obvious in his voice.

       “I’m scared.” Said Alice, looking small and helpless. Looking at her, I realized she wasn’t as tough as she acted like she was.       

       “Me too.” I whispered. I kept watching Kyle, hoping he would move, but he didn’t. Then, behind me I heard a grunt.

       “Seth?” Alice said in a small voice. I turned as Seth fell to the floor. “Seth!” Alice fell to the ground next to him. “This is going to happen to us too isn’t it?” She asked me.

       “No!” He shouted as he fell. His eyes were wide with terror.  “I can’t move! I… I…” Then he screamed and his eyes snapped shut. Alice shrieked and tears spilled from her eyes.

       “What is going on!? I’m scared.” Alice shouted. “Why couldn’t I have been first!?” Then Seth screamed just as Kyle had done a few minutes ago. His eyes were open again, and darting. His hand shot up in the air and he grimaced in pain.

       “Stop stop stop!” Alice shouted.        She looked like she was going insane.

       Then Seth spoke a word before his eyes when blank and closed. “Help.”

       “Oh my God!” Said Alice in hysterics.

       “It’s okay.” I said trying to comfort her. “Everything will be okaaa-“ I felt it. My mind went spinning and my body began to ache with a pain so bad that I couldn’t think straight. “It’s not so bad.” I said with agony. My voice sounded distant. I was just trying to help Alice cope. Then the pain got worse. It shot through my entire body so strong that I felt myself scream so loud I knew Alice would be terrified, but then, as I opened my eyes, I saw she was already going through the same thing. I tried to move to escape the pain, but I couldn’t. My body wouldn’t respond. I was afraid of what would happen next. I was afraid of the instant sleep it seemed the two boys had fallen into. Was this the end? Then, I felt it creep up. I felt myself forgetting. I felt my thoughts disappearing, and suddenly, it was over.

 

 

 

Author's Note

I need help figuring what else needs added, what needs to be removed, and so on. I went over and edited it a little more, I'm trying to make it work, but I don't know how to really make them seem more afraid.

Reviews

[FumiTuki]

I'm interested so far, though I noticed a few things that seem a little off to me. To be honest, I expected more of a panic between the three once they woke up, though I understand a lot of the tension was eased because of Kyle and Alice. The humor is a nice touch, but it overshadows the seriousness of their predicament.

When describing Alice, the line "dark and beautiful like the way a gun looks" doesn't sound quite right, so I would suggest using just "like" to make it a simile, or just "the way".

The last paragraph is absolutely gripping and really builds suspense. I can't wait to read more! :)

[MusicLover]

I like it