Anguish

More to the book.

       The footsteps moved away from me. They hadn’t seen me after all. I sent up a silent prayer as the tears still fell from my chin. I looked out and saw that the men were getting further from me. My grip was weak and as I became aware, my hands slipped and I tumbled to the ground. I rose to my feet and ran. I flew into my house with my feet on fire. I grabbed the car keys and hurtled into the driveway. I tripped on a crack in the sidewalk but my legs kept moving. My shaky hands jammed the keys into the lock on the door and I hurled the door open. An involuntary force helped me slide into the car and turn the key in the ignition. The engine roared and I sped out onto the street. My heart was beating so heard I thought it would break through my chest and plop onto my lap. AS the car sped down the street I saw the men exit the forest with large eyes and angry mouths. I looked away. Raleigh. Zach. I had to get there. I had to get to him. It was all that mattered. I’d figure out what to do later, but now, I needed to get to him.

         Tears still fell from my eyes. My shaking hadn’t calmed down either. My breath shook as I exhaled. I’d almost lost him, the chance of ever seeing him again, forever. It’d been so close. But I was okay now. At least for this moment in time, I was safe.

         I continued down the road but this time I drove a safe speed. I didn’t know what I’d do when I got to Raleigh. I had no money, I had no place to stay, I had nothing but hope.

         After two and a half ours of not knowing what to do I arrived in Raleigh. Fear crept into my mind. What would I do? I knew people would be looking for me. I was a fugitive. I was a suspect… more than a suspect, in the murder of my father. I could hardly breath. Everything had happened so fast. One minute I was a girl that wanted most to be out of her abusive home. The next I was a fugitive, the killer of that abuser, on the run in attempt to find the one person that would save me, had saved me. What had gone wrong? Why did we deserve this?

         I pulled my car to a stop at a grocery store. My hands still shook. My eyes were still filled with tears. I reached over to the glove compartment and pulled it open. Papers rattled as I let the door drop. I let my hands run through the piles of paper. They stopped on a cool metal box. I felt a tiny sense of happiness, but not much. I pulled out the box and let it sit in my hand. The metal glittered in the late afternoon light. I closed my eyes and unfastened the button that held it closed. The lid bounced back. I opened my eyes. In the box was exactly what I’d hoped, prayed for. Money. I pulled it out and counted it. Two hundred and seventy five dollars. I sent up a prayer. I wasn’t sure if God cared to listen because of what I’d done, but I thanked him anyway. I knew many people didn’t. I took out a twenty and folded the money back into the box. I slipped it back into the compartment and got out of the car. I needed fifty dollars for the tickets and the rest was usable.

         I walked into the store and looked around. It was small, but it was very nice. I walked around and found a little bakery. I picked out a small sandwich and went up to the checkout to purchase it. The store only had one lane so I got in line. As I made my way to the front a group of girls got in line behind me. “He’s going to be here in TWO days!” One squealed.

         “I wanna scream!” Another added.

         “I will do anything to get him to notice me.” One said with a serious voice.

         “Could you imagine if he actually liked one of us? What if when we meet him he falls in love with one of us! OH MY GOD. It’s going to happen.” The first girl said. They all laughed.

         I turned my attention away from them. The line moved forward again and the cashier took my sandwich. “Heavy dinner?” He questioned with a cute smile.

         I smiled back. “Yes of course.”

         He continued. “Are you here for the concert that coming to town? I’ve never seen you here before.”

         I looked around. “Actually I am.” He smiled. He looked like he wanted to say more but he handed me my sandwich. “Thanks.” I said.

         “Don’t mention it.” He said with a wave.

         I walked out to my car and got in. I didn’t have anywhere else to go so I just sat there and nibbled at my sandwich. I was hungry but I felt like I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t stop thinking about Zach. Was he okay? Was he alone? Who were the men that kidnapped him? Why was he now a singer that couldn’t be truthful about his past? Why did he lie so much? Why wasn’t he here with me? My mind was falling apart. I just wanted him to be safe with me. I didn’t want to feel so alone anymore. These past few months had drained me of everything I’d built up over the years. I had no one. Not anymore.

         I hadn’t realized how long I’d been thinking until there was a knock at my window. It was pitch black outside. My sandwich was dry and brown in my hand. I looked up and out the window. The cashier was at my window. I rolled it down. “Yes?” I asked. I felt a tear that had been stranded on my cheek slip off.

         He saw it. “Oh, uh. Well, I was told to come see if you were okay out here. We’re closing down and they were afraid you were plotting something. Anyway, you alright?” He said with a kindness I hadn’t heard since Zach last spoke to me. Another tear fell uncontrollably from my eye. His eyes took on their own sadness. “You aren’t are you?”

         I looked into his eyes wanting so bad to tell him I was okay. I was afraid to speak because I didn’t want to crack, so I just looked at him. Another tear. Another. Then they started to pour. I turned away. “I’m okay.” I whispered. “I’ll leave.”

         He put his hand on my shoulder. “No you won’t.” He paused. “I’m off in a few minutes. Wait here. I’ll be back.” He stepped away and then went inside. I wanted to stay, but I couldn’t. I wanted more than anything to no longer feel lonely, but that wasn’t an option. I couldn’t stay here. I couldn’t risk someone caring. I couldn’t risk someone knowing.

         I put the car into reverse. More tears. The cashier flew out the doors. I pushed the gas and drove quickly into the street. My eyes drifted to his. His were sad, tired. He watched after me. I couldn’t look away. My car slowed. I stopped. His eyes carried the sorrow mine did. He allowed me to glimpse his broken life. He allowed me to trust him with that one look. I felt my heart beat faster. I felt his eyes burning into mine. He didn’t walk towards my car. He just stood there staring, and I stared back. Before my eyes he dropped to the ground. I was out of my car instantly and by his side. “Cashier guy!” I shouted. I didn’t know what to call him, but I knew I wanted him to be okay. I shook him. He didn’t move. “HELP!” I screamed. 

Author's Note

Any help is appreciated.