I Thought

Surprise

I THOUGHT

I thought I had felt all I

Had to feel for you.

I thought our years of struggle

To be what we were for each other

Had extracted all the tenderness

All the grief

All the sympathy

I possessed

I thought the grave

Would be but dim reminder of losses incurred

Not scream finality

Not close any remaining door.

I though my hopes for you

Had long since been exhausted

That I held no remaining longings

No graspable ravels to deaths dull shroud

I thought faint tenderness would hide itself

Moments your touch opened my soul

The balm of your presence

Quieting goblins in the night

I thought life had left me

No remaining vestiges

Nothing to prick this conscience

To spin dark dreams

I thought that this would be the end

That grave’s grim grasp

Would free me

Would close the covers of this story

I thought I would no longer need to weep

I was wrong

Reviews

[Tate Morgan]

A fathers love is one thing a boy searches and dreams of. It is what all men share and few understand. Every boy who grows up without a father has a hole in him. The size of the man missing. However i find a boys attachment to a father is so unique when compared to a daughters. We never find solace Im afraid. With death comes only more questions.

[AllenS]

It has been an irreplacable journey with the memory of my dad. There was such pride at times and at others such fury. I have come to believe that only parents can incite such primitive, raw, gut wrenching responses on the one hand and such absulte dismissals on the other. Parent child relationship are the most elemental dimension of our being to experience.

I have found them peppering my dreams, warping my relationships, and deepening my appreciation of all with which I come in contact. I find myself desiring conversations with them time and again since they deceased, and all I have left are love letters, and memories etched deeply in my DNA.

As the years go on, I have found deep seated appreciation for both emerging beyond the moody furor of my younger years.

A Father Hole, yes, especially when I center on the oughts of his ability to relate. For years I spent time judging his and replanning his personality as if that would somehow save me from the dissappointment of his not meeting my expectations.

[AllenS]

The point, of course was for me to learn to put the fantasy to rest and address the real man as I have come to know him following his death. Not so strangely, he was a College Teacher and Librarian, a writer, gardener, and lover of his family.

[Tate Morgan]

I am working today I’m going to have to sit down and give this another once over before I put a little effort into answering you to a depth commencerate With your comment

[Coyote Poetry]

Somethings cannot leave us. We are tattoos with memories. Old song and old hang-out. Made us remember. I liked the story in the poem and the logical ending. Thank you Allen for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[An owl on the moon]

Such painful ponderings, how those we love are woven deep into every thread of us. Perhaps we tell ourselves these thoughts to try and save us from the overwhelming pain that comes for us in those night hours.