I hate it.

Suicide is never the answer. Or is it?

I hate it when people say that something's not worth it. Like suicide, or alcohol, or drugs. Because when you're caught in the moment, you don't care abou the effects. You think what you're doing at the time is right. You see it as the only solution. You see it as your salvation.

 

We're not gonna see others mistakes as warnings --- we're gonna see them as guideline. LIke how not to do something. You think you won't make the same mistakes they did. Some times you succeed in hat you're trying to accomplish, other times you'll make your own mistakes, and worst case senario --- you make the exact same mistakes that they did. You don't know how terrible it feels to admitt that they were right, and that you were wrong.

 

People tend to see suicide differently than others. Some people say, "Oh, suicide's so wrong. I would never do that," and they judge people who do. I remember I was like that. I thought I would never try to kill myself.

 

But things have changed. I have tried to kill myself. It's not something you ever want to experience. Ever. I saw it as my way of escape. An escape from my terrifying reality.

 

People who have tried to commit suicide think of it differenly as well. Some of them think of it as an attempt gone wrong. Others think of it ad a turning point. A chance to change their lives.

 

Me, I'm not so lucky. When I think about my problems, some times I just want to kill myself and escape, but then I feel pathetic because there are ohere people whose situation is far worse than mine. Some wouldn't even consider my problems problems. They'd think I'm being too dramatic and I'm just an attention addict. There are people who deserve sympathy, I'm not one of them. And knowing that just makes me want to kill myself even more. But then I think about what happened the last time and all the people I hurt and lost. I don't want to loose anyone else. I don't want to hurt the people I care about even more. I don't won't let go of my dreams. I want to make them a reality. My reality. Without those, there's nothing else keeping me on this earth.

 

Except maybe chocolate. Because I don't think they have something as good as chocolate in Hell. It's just not right. Unless they realize how good it is and they're holding it prisoner....

Author's Note

This was just an outlet of thoughts I'd been keeping locked in my head for quite some time... Read if you want. Comment if you want.