Me

Me

A Poem by Violet Ray

I'm doing better than you thought I could do
You thought my whole world revolved around you
Devouring all of my emotion
Leaving me cold and open
Naive to your ways 
I spent years, months, weeks, days.....

Listening, obeying, and mistreated
Pushed around, fell down, like I just don't get it?
What am I doing wrong?
What do I have to do right?
Confused, so consumed, weak
It's like still trying to drive a car when you're running on E
No need for your sorry and pleading
I've learned to become concerned about my feelings
Stood up for what I believed in.....

Now look at you
Cold, empty, so consumed
I see a replay in my life when I look at you
You thought my whole world revolved around you
I'm doing better than you thought i could do.

© 2014 Violet Ray


Author's Note

Violet Ray
Honest opinions please. Negative and positive may be shared

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Featured Review

I liked it, I think a lot of people can relate to it. So many people are being "door mats" and not standing up for themselves. The only suggestion I have is that you might want to capitalize the i 's in your poem (What do I have to do right? instead of What do i have to do right?) Great work, keep writing!!

Posted 10 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I love this, very touching, reminds me of someone that my friend used to know. She bullied all of us, and I finally mouthed off to her and gave her my opinion of her. She ran off crying, as if what I had done was much worse than anything she had. I'm not recommending violence, but darn, it felt good.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

"listening, obeying, and mistreated" so many people we feel like it sometimes, sometimes we so doing better than we thought or then less, we can do enough, I feel like this everyday like what did I do wrong? or vice versa, sometimes I'm like I did nothing wrong and don't need to apologies, tho sometimes I like apologetic person, 'I am only one person,' that is my motto to myself tho I know I am not the first person to say that

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I couldn't have read this at a more perfect time in my life. Thank you for sharing such a relateable and hard-hitting piece!

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like your wording!
Keep it up!

Posted 10 Years Ago


I really enjoyed feels like you were sharing your testimony

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Honestly this is awesome !

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Really great word choice and a beautiful rhythm! My only suggestion would be to possible change "plead" to "pleading" in the 7th line of the third stanza. Great poem though!

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I really liked this it's very relatable and well written. keep up the good work

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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Rob
Wow! Loved it, really had good flow and punch lines

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I liked it, I think a lot of people can relate to it. So many people are being "door mats" and not standing up for themselves. The only suggestion I have is that you might want to capitalize the i 's in your poem (What do I have to do right? instead of What do i have to do right?) Great work, keep writing!!

Posted 10 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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928 Views
26 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 3 Libraries
Added on December 3, 2014
Last Updated on December 4, 2014


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