Me

I'm doing better than you thought I could do

You thought my whole world revolved around you

Devouring all of my emotion

Leaving me cold and open

Naive to your ways 

I spent years, months, weeks, days.....

Listening, obeying, and mistreated

Pushed around, fell down, like I just don't get it?

What am I doing wrong?

What do I have to do right?

Confused, so consumed, weak

It's like still trying to drive a car when you're running on E

No need for your sorry and pleading

I've learned to become concerned about my feelings

Stood up for what I believed in.....

Now look at you

Cold, empty, so consumed

I see a replay in my life when I look at you

You thought my whole world revolved around you

I'm doing better than you thought i could do.

Author's Note

Honest opinions please. Negative and positive may be shared

Reviews

[luvs2write]

I liked it, I think a lot of people can relate to it. So many people are being "door mats" and not standing up for themselves. The only suggestion I have is that you might want to capitalize the i 's in your poem (What do I have to do right? instead of What do i have to do right?) Great work, keep writing!!

[Sam Thelemarck]

Great poem, locally felt message

[Sunbear]

Wow, LOVE this! Your words are so powerful to one who has been there, and was unable at the time to put into words what I felt. Encouraging - Inspiring - Excellent!

[Xavier Lee]

Though I cannot say I relate to your writing I do very much enjoy it. Your word use is interesting and while your grammar could use a bit of revision (i.e incorrect words like your/you're, things like that) But all in all your poetry is beautiful and moving.

[Pitta S Dev]

its a beautiful thought!

[Lydia Shutter]

The honest emotion in this write is well expressed. A write of empowerment. The rhythm of your words flows easily. Well written. Lydi**

[lovergirl]

all positive , i'm always impressed with your writings cuz they're so real and true i can sense that when i read'em , beautifully word expression and i think you're such a brave and good girl , i'd love to get to know you more ;)
PS : don't give a damn , like they say Karma is a B***h it'll always come back and bites you in the a*s

[Violet Ray]

Thank You so much feel free to message me if so :)

[lovergirl]

you're very welcome ! i sure will ;)

[iand63]

karma in action. direct and beautifully constructed

[Lizardo]

Exactly how i used to feel. Very wonderful poem, every word of it, it is great.

[Our Stories Lengthen Li..]

wow! sounds brutal but it beautifully sad and lovely in a finding your strength kinda way.

[MomzillaNC]

Your lines have a rushing, driving sense, carrying the reader throughout the piece.

NOTES: I recommend trying for a balanced meter. As I've said many times, I don't think strict meter is required for poetry. I do think a balanced meter, especially when rhyme is employed, helps the poem.