Crumbled

In a state of trance, Me and my shadow,

Lie mellowed out on the sack

Humming to the stereo,

Having occassional sips

Of my warm caffeine potion.

Asudden, a retreated scribe peeks within,

Giving the itch to scribble on a rag..

After hours and hours of peering,

Efforts are turning into vain

As words still remain astray.

No longer, can I write between lines.

Searching for a verse,

Strained and dispossessed.

With forsaken hopes, I comprehend

My fire has faded.

A void fills up

As I linger between

A recluse and a reveller,

Nothing has been benefited

And I crash in this battle between two worlds.

Reviews

[.]

An interesting take on the dreaded writers block. Something every poet on this site has suffered from at some point of their creative lives.

I like your idea of the two worlds, one in reality, the other in writing. And to be caught in the chasm between these worlds is certainly the lament of the poet.

A much improved poem on your previous work. Very streamlined and well structured. Nicely done.

[Aishwarya Prem]

Thank u :) I am really happy to know that I have become better this time :) Thanks for your support

[Benita-Staebell M - Kin..]

This is my thoughts on writers block
but it doesn't happen much for me and
I've been dealing with my own issues in
Life my mind gets scattered but my
words seem to make sense on paper
Rhyming also helps writers block and nicely penned by the way. Happy writing!


I'm Thinking of writers that
ask about writers block
On the group Where Authors
begin.

This causes writers block.

If you don't take a break and you're overly
stressed your brain and body will shut off and your brain and body won't come back on until you're calm until you love and nurture it so take care of yourself writers because It's straining on the brain focusing on the same thing for too long no sleep no food no water or nourishment not relaxing reading a book taking a walk outside new scenery letting your mind breathe if I'm not calm or relaxed taking care of me than comes the dreadful writers block I tend to feel be in the moment go with the flow from all the pain and drama that's happening in my life I get ideas from watching strangers but in a non creepy way lol... 😂😂 I hope this helps writer block strugglers.

[Shabeeh Haider]

Writers block. We have all been through it but fortunately this phase is short lived.
Wonderfully expressed.

[Manu]

No longer, can I write between lines.
Searching for a verse,
Strained and dispossessed.
With forsaken hopes, I comprehend
My fire has faded.

I liked these above lines, Aishwarya. Nicely written. Some good words used throughout. :-)

[Aishwarya Prem]

Thank you for your kind review Gorthi :)

[Lexi Wilkins]

This is rather interesting. I enjoyed it.

[Aishwarya Prem]

Thaanks lexi!!! Really happy to know that you enjoyed it

[mercy party]

you brought the setting to life. I feel like the writer is communicating the need to write but just isn't too inspired, maybe jaded. be confident because this was terrific and showed craftiness. good!

[Aishwarya Prem]

Thaanks for your suggestion!! I will work on it!!

[Dr. YumnaKay]

"No longer, can I write between lines.
Searching for a verse,
Strained and dispossessed.
With forsaken hopes, I comprehend
My fire has faded."

These lines are intense.. I think the fire never fades.. you just lose yourself for the time being only to be a better and a new you..
I'd never have to face the writer's block either but yes ideas run short often at which times I find myself reading more and more to be inspired ;)
I liked the use of good vocabulary in this piece! Nicely penned :)

[Aishwarya Prem]

Thanks for taking time to read my poem!! Yes what you said is true and I hope that my fire hasn't faded too

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Keep writing and you'll know it hasn't..
You're welcome :)

[Farmgirl]

Interesting... Very interesting ...
Writing comes naturally when we are not over analyzing flaws that we think we've made and just letting them become what they will be will form itself even if we start out with drafting eventually we come up with something unique and special ...


Keep writing....


There is potential here I see in you..


Don't think your not good enough.. your work is as good as any others... maybe not greater just yet.. these things take time to unfold as a writer ... But I see a writer in you so don't give up ! Stay confident and always just be your best self !


L. 😌

[Aishwarya Prem]

Thaanks a lot farmgirl!! This has given me more self confidence!! I will definitely not give up writing(like i did during college)

[Farmgirl]

Awesome to hear!

I'll be expecting a read request from you heheh


read moreAwesome to hear!

I'll be expecting a read request from you heheh


I'm excited !

[Farmgirl]

Write more * Lol you can read too it helps to read .. writers are so inspiring to connect with ... sorry for the typos lol

[Aishwarya Prem]

Hahaa you are so sweet

[Farmgirl]

:) well in my opinion sweet is better than sour hehhe

Night night sweetie

[Aishwarya Prem]

Hahaa night ;)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

the fire might fade at times...but if the poetry is within us...the muse will strike when we least expect it, and the pen will move again.

[Aishwarya Prem]

Thaanx a ton :)

[xXBlackRavenXx]

I love this. I can feel myself in the moment, almost as if I am experiencing your emotion. Keep up the good work!

[Aishwarya Prem]

Thank u :) I'm really happy thay you could relate to it !!!