Overnight worries

Probably boring, probably self pitying but, writing may help...well...maybe not this time.

There comes a time in your life,rather rarely I would say, when everything is just perfect. Just the way it all should be. And then there are these other times (multiply the good ones by 10.000.000000........) when everything and I mean everything is just wrong. I mean sure there is the middle part as well where some things are on the right track and some things are not etc etc but that's just boring right now. And not what I'm going for here. At least not at the moment. It's 1:45am here so you can imagine this will be some overnight blabbing kinda self psychological-soothing small talk..... Let's just call it rambling and be done with it.

So anyways, a little info on "me lifo". I just broke up. Actually I got broken up. I lost the most amazing man I could have ever met. The nicest, honest and most caring guy I never thought even existed. A guy that once loved me and was crazy about me,too. I bet you can't guess why I say ",too".... Anyways, if the pain of that loss wasn't enough troubles at work seem to be tremendously increasing. And why would you ask? Because that darn lady(god help me to call her lady) wife of da boss doesn't quite like me. And that's just putting it waaaay too lightly. This b***h hates my guts and makes it certain to show it any way she can. And, of course, most of the time, when she and I are left alone. Wouldn't wanna let HIM see our true self bitchiness now would we? As if he doesn't know. Anyways the point is that her attitude has led me to the point of feeling like I'm in jail. I cannot function properly in there and she messes me up psychologically. In other words, not a pleasant enviroment AT ALL to work in. And I am this close to not quitting but, making them fire me. But, I don't feel right about provoking them in doing so since the others have done nothing but be nice to me. She's the one. The evil b***h wife of a boss. But what can you do right?

So in brief, boyfriend dumped me and a grand possibility to become unemployed again. Isn't that fun?.. How life turns things around? And just then I think about how happy I once was, how much I gave up and changed in order to keep being happy. And now? I'm left with nada. Nothing. I bet this whole diary nightime thing has got you all up in a giddy, right? I got you sooo wet right now. Jesus christ what the f**k am I writing?... No, I am not drunk. Just going through a breakdown..!

Anyways, what I guess would be my advice from all of this (wasn't actually planning on giving any. To tell you the truth I didn't even know what I was going for, writing this) is live up every moment you guys. Let it all in. Let it fill you up. Feel every moment that makes you happy, every moment that matters, every memory that will stick with you live it up to the fullness of it. Don't just do it. Cause you never know for how long you'll hold on to it. Whatever it is that you have. Whatever it is that you want. That you love. That you cherish... That you value more than anything. Hold on to it and feel it with every breath you take. Every inch of your body. Feel it. Live it. Because one day may come when all is gone...

Nightmares seem like a dream sometimes. At least when you wake up they are gone. Reality however is there and never leaves. It always lingers. And it never lets you forget that it's there...

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[Georgios Bourlos]

there are other people that love you out there!