three hours to make it out alive

bluebells turn upside down
dancing stars filling the night sky
imagines playing around in my head
tree shake as wind blows
leafs fall all around,
wings in the distance
three hours til dawn 
three hours to make it out
alive, nothing to gain
everything to lose
guiding my way
the hollow of the moon
what a beauty field
but deadly all the same
three hours till dawn
three hours to live
distance is far
never make
why not just give up
giving in just a waste
of life so continue
started to run
not sure which way to go
not time to stop and
ask for direction
two hours till dawn
not enough time to
make it out alive
still not sure where i am

Reviews

[Ravyne Hawke]

I love how you use short phrases to portray the pace of this piece.. you've done an excellent job of creating a sense of urgency and desperation... well done!

[MoriartyMesa]

remember when we were talking about blending music, this has NightWish,Slayer, Christiana, and Nina Simone. Very well done in deed. This would be something i would like to see sort of like an animated graphic poem.

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the poem. I like the tension and the desire to find safety and survive till daylight. A outstanding poem. No weakness. Just strong story.
Coyote

[Chris Smith Welshpoetcs]

Exactly written.

[Aidz]

Loved the tone of this write

[FJ Davis]

Dizzying pace; confused mania well-projected.
Excellent poem.