Layers

I don't know what happened first.
the feeling of unworthiness
or the feeling of failure but
Both
hit me like a ton of bricks.
then my tears dried up.
those bricks piled up.
and I built a home that
no one could get into
Unless
they dare break down
those walls.

Reviews

[JayG]

In this, you talk about you, someone the reader knows nothing about. But is poetry a means of passing information, or is the reader expecting you to give them an emotional experience?

Someone who doesn't know you is exactly as interested in learning that you're not sure of something-or-other, for unknown reasons, as you're wondering how my week went.

My point is that we have to make the reader want to know, and, be moved by the words.

Poetry gives us a superpower: By choosing and placing our words we can make someone we will never meet feel satisfaction, uncertainty, joy, lust, and every other human emotion. But it's a learned, not inherent power, and we're not even told it exists in our school days, where they prepared us for the needs of employment, with professional knowledge acquired in addition to that.

And what kind of writing do employers require of us? Reports, essays, and letters, all nonfiction applications, whose approach is to have the narrator talk TO the reader. But the readers of poetry expect to be made to feel and care, not be better informed on your life. In poetry we don't, for example, tell the reader that we cried. Instead, we give THEM reason to weep.

There's a huge body of knowledge, refined over the centuries, that makes the job possible, But if we're not aware that it exists, and is necessary...

Problem is, our own work always works for us, because we always know what the words mean, and what led to them being spoken. We, uniquely, can hear emotion in the voice of the narrator, and know their gestures, expression changes, and body-language. We know the situation being discussed, intomately. The reader has only what the words suggest to them, plus punctuation.

Mary Oliver's, A Poetry Handbook is a brilliant work. In it, you'll learn things about words, and even letters, that you may have always used, but never truly understood, like when using the word, stone, should better be, rock, and vice-versa. You can download a PDF copy here:
https://yes-pdf.com/book/1596

Another resource is the Shmoop site. Lots of great poetry there, analyzed in depth as to how, and why it works. log in as Student, then, use the midpage button next to the search window to select Poetry.

So, I know this wasn't what you were hoping to see, but since we'll not adress a problem we don't see as being one, I thought you might want to know,

Hang in there, and keep writing.

Jay Greenstein
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/the-grumpy-old-writing-coach/

[Ashley]

I think poetry can be read, written and understood in many ways. The way you read and interpret it may mean something completely different than someone else who reads and interprets it. It took me a long time to get to the point of posting it. It's my form of emotional release. Thank you for your feedback.