Unknown

If I truly understood it I would tell you.  Yet I am still trying to figure it out myself.  Maybe that's what keeps me up at night?  My mind never seems to let things go.  I stay consistent and live in routine.  I like my space, my box and my untamed things.  I wish for more but I dare to blink.  Will I miss out on so many things?  I can't think about that, it makes me sad.  I see all of these lovers and want what they have.  I stay positive, keep focused understanding how important growth is.  I get it, I must keep working or is it fighting?  Probably both.  I can win, I will love.  I can go.  I will travel.  I don't want to miss out on such beautiful things. So much too see yet time sneaks by so fast.  I get sad again.  Will I ever go and do this and that?  Sure I will.  I cant quit now.  I can almost taste it as I'm striking fear down.  I'm tired now. My eyes are heavy, my soul is searching, my heart feels incomplete and my mind is suddenly quiet.  I must get some sleep.  Maybe my dreams will help me to decide.