The Phone Call

     Her heart was beating  so fast.  She couldn't remember the last time she felt this way.  She actually believed she would never have these feelings again.  A smile would randomly show upon her face as she thought, "whoa, where is this coming from?"  She knew she shouldn't expect anything and realized assuming that anything would come of it would only make her look like a fool if nothing did.  She had to stop.  She had to stop thinking and feeling but it was hard.  The heart tends to wander where it wants to.  This is something she knew all too well.  She sat down, turned on the television and started to flip through the channels, "nothing" she said.  She turned it off, sighed and began to quickly tap her knees.  She was feeling very anxious.  In order to keep her mind occupied she got up and decided to find something to do in the kitchen.  She looked around seeing that the dishes were already done and the kitchen looked pretty well organized, however she decided to sweep the floor.  This was helping, a little.  She would catch herself looking at her phone that was sitting on the coffee table in the living room.  "Maybe I should make sure that the volume is on," she said to herself as she put the broom and dust pan away and walked back into the living room.  She picked up her phone and sighed, "really?" she said as she scrolled through her phone to see absolutely no new messages or missed calls.  Also, the volume on her phone was turned up just fine.  Though she was still hopeful, it was getting late.  She started to be doubtful, mostly in herself.

     She thought of calling or texting them but didn't want to seem to eager.  They had planned a day ahead and spoke the morning of.  If it was going to happen, it would still happen.  At this point her anxiousness was almost as uncontrollable as her doubtful thoughts.  Was it her?  Did she say something wrong? Did she do Something wrong?  Were these feelings in the pit of her stomach real?  All of these negative thoughts started to swirl in her head.  Time was passing by and either this night was going to happen, or not.  That's when she started to anticipate disappointment and her heart dropped.  A tear began to shed down her left cheek, "No, no, no. Don't start this stuff again!" she said sternly to herself.  Getting upset was not the answer.  She constantly had to remind herself not to expect anything and that if it was meant to be, it would happen.  She just wished her heart would accept that.  She had met this person.  They had talked daily and late nights.  It seemed like a very real chance or more so felt like one.  Why wasn't anything coming of it?  She was just waiting and waiting for it to happen.  Yet that was the whole point.  She was tired of waiting in general.  She felt she had been patient enough years of dead end relationships and blocking out the noise to focus on herself.  She was ready now.  Where was love?  She didn't want to not believe in it anymore but her doubts, especially with this night, started to cloud her mind.

     It was near midnight now and her phone had not made a sound.  She turned the television on and laid on the couch.  She just wanted to forget about it all.  Her stomach was growling and her head was pounding but she ignored it.  She took one last look at her phone and set it back down.  Her eyes began to feel heavy and she started to yawn.  Her phone still had yet to make a sound so she closed her eyes and drifted away.