Desperately

   Desperately trying to hold on to time though its leaking through my fingers as quickly as running water. I’m fighting for something, holding on as tightly as I can bare, with the awareness that I’m quickly running out of time and with every second that passes I’m losing the battle.

   Desperately fighting, lashing out at any enemy though someone tells me they are my allies, I’m untrusting now, constantly looking behind and on my guard, gun held tightly in my hands. I’ve been told that I’m not the person I once was but I know now that they are the ones who has changed. This feeling I have in my gut tells me that I should just kill them all.

   Desperately hiding all of the emotions. Anger builds up in the back of my mind and its backed up with sorrow that builds up in the back of my eyes and all of it seems to be pulling me down deep into cold darkness. This uncontrollable thing that is constantly digging at the pit of my stomach, trying to claw it’s way to the surface; I know that sooner or later it will reveal it’s self, but the only question is when?

   Desperately asking questions, running around seeking answers. Who will win in the end? When will this all be over? If I fight hard enough… Will it all be worth it in the end? These questions has formed the way I live my life now. Question to question, never seeming to find an answer.

There is no giving up now though, this war began with me and it will end with me.

For if I lose, the cost will be much more then I can bare.

Author's Note

meant to be told from the view point os Sam Winchester (character from the TV show Supernatural)
I think this story has more of an impact if you know the TV show but non Supernatural fans please I'm dying to know if its good so please comment