Never Again

We often find ourselves running to what (and who) we are comfortable with, no matter how destructive that behavior might be in the end.

I remember your eyes and your mouth and the smell of your skin.

I remember your voice and your heart and the feel of your breath on my cheek.

I remember your promises and your gifts and your love.

I remember as if it were yesterday.

I remember the day I left.

I remember my tears and the crushing weight on my chest.

I remember the doubt and the broken promises.

I remember being sick and feeling like I was being turned inside out.

Can you believe it has been a year?

So much has changed.

I wish I could tell you about it, but you don't look at me.

I wish I could laugh with you again, but you never seem to smile.

I wish I could hear your voice, but you don't speak to me.

You're protecting me, even if you do not know it.

In a heartbeat I would let you back into my life.

But in the next one I would be shattered again.

In the next one we would make the same mistakes we made a year ago.

In the next one I would never be able to trust again.

Never again will I look into your eyes, kiss your mouth, or inhale the scent of your skin.

Never again will I hear your voice, fell you heartbeat, or feel your breath on my cheek.

Never again will you make me a promise, give me a gift, or tell me you love me.

Never again will I have to leave.

Never again will tears stain my cheeks because of you.

Never again will you break a promise you made to me.

And truly, that is the blessing.