Chapter III: The Dark Years

Fiera grows into a young adolescent and debates the existence of a legendary forest, called the Mystic Forest with her closest friend.

            Fiera's light footsteps made no sound on the hard earth of the woodland floor. It had been fifteen years since the dragons destroyed her village and killed her parents. In those fifteen years, Fiera had become a wild elf of the forest, living off the land and fending for herself. She was no longer the small, frightened girl of mere sixty years. Fiera had grown into a young adolescent of seventy-five. Muscled and strong from her self-upbringing, she was sharper and keener than most elven girls her age. She had no knowledge of how far she had come from her old childhood home. For all she knew, she could have travelled to the other side of her realm or merely a few settlements away. She did not care. Fiera had let go of all her memories from before the dragons' attack long ago.

            A faint rustling in the trees behind her made the young teenager jump and turn around faster than lightning. Her self-fashioned bow of pine bark and unicorn tail hair was drawn menacingly, complete with a sharpened stick that served as her arrow. Her weapon came face to face with a gleaming white unicorn sporting a golden mane and tail reaching down to its sparkling hooves. A clear, crystal horn protruded from its forehead, easily the length of Fiera's entire arm and glinted magnificently in the strong midday sunlight. Its shimmering amber eyes looked at Fiera hauntingly for a moment before throwing back its head and chuckling good-naturedly, the sound heard only within the minds of the two.

            Fiera, you would not wish to shoot me using the very bow my tail hair helped create, would you? the smooth male voice spoke pleasantly to Fiera's mind. Breathing a sigh of relief, Fiera lowered her weapon and gave a small twinge from the corner of her mouth, which for her, passed as a radiant smile.

            Oh, it's you, Zanzibar, she sighed. I thought you may have been another human. They're vicious but nothing I cannot handle, she bragged slightly, fingering Zanzibar's tail hair on her bow. Zanzibar inclined his head, softly pawing the earth.

            Hmm... Indeed, he replied. There have been more of them than usual roaming about as of late. Perhaps another dragon raid upon the Mystic Forest? he asked, tossing his incredibly long mane out of his delicate face. Fiera rolled her large, almond eyes and scoffed, crossing her arms in exasperation.

            Oh Zanzibar... not this foolish talk of the Mystic Forest again, she insisted, quite tired of hearing the unicorn's fanciful tales of the place. It is merely a children's faerie tale, nothing more. How on this realm you could believe such ludicrous nonsense is beyond my imaginings, she scolded her friend. Zanzibar merely gave Fiera a knowing stare.

            You seem so certain that it does not exist, yet the tales speak of an ongoing battle with the dragons and a world where elves and humans live side by side in peace. The Mystic Forest is said to be located near this very stretch of wood as the realm between realms... the World of Fae and the Material Plane. It would explain all of the wandering humans scattered about our realm, he told her softly. Fiera's already cold and emotionless eyes grew ever colder.

            You are a fool to believe such tales, Zanzibar, she told the unicorn icily. Humans and elves living together peacefully... it would take madness to believe such utter nonsense. I have more important endeavours to busy my time with than daydreaming about some non-existent realm, like finding food for instance, she said, picking up her bow and strapping it to her back.

            Ah, Fiera... you are still merely a child yourself and yet you speak the sad, unbelieving words of a bitter old woman, Zanzibar sighed as Fiera's face turned frighteningly penetrating.

            I was stripped of my childhood fifteen years ago, Zanzibar; now am not bitter, only wise, she said, not truly believing her own words. The shimmering white and gold unicorn's liquid amber eyes filled with a deep sorrow as he looked upon the hardened teenager. Why, she would only be twelve or thirteen years of age at the most if she were a human.

            Yes, not only the loss of your parents but of your innocence as well. What that cruel human did to you- he began, but Fiera cut him off.

            Don't! she hissed. I will not speak of it! her heart hammered very hard against her chest. How dare he remind her of the damage done to her mind and body as a child on her own with no one to protect her? She had vowed that she would never allow herself to be brutally taken advantage of again. She had trained herself to become stronger and more resentful than any other being who tried to violate her and in doing so, hardened herself into a near-indestructible, emotionless warrior... all at the tender age of only seventy-five. Zanzibar lowered his head in a gesture of respect.

            I have gone too far. I apologize, he said simply. The furious elf did not reply but slung the rest of her provisions and weaponry over her back and continued on her way in search of food, that didn't involve slaughtering a helpless animal.

            Those fifteen years were the darkest of Fiera's life.

Reviews

[Lorelee Tate]

I hope I make sense while I write this, since I have a nasty cold.

In all honesty, I thought the last two chapters were a little stronger. Something about this chapter just made it feel a little out of place to me. I didn't see a whole lot of importance in this one moment other than to explain what had happened during the past fifteen years. Perhaps something else significant is about to happen? I'll see in the next chapter, I suppose. Most of my comments from the previous chapters still apply, but in the meantime, here are the rest:

There were a few sentences here that I thought were rather awkward. This sentence, for example: "Its shimmering amber eyes looked at Fiera hauntingly for a moment before throwing back its head and chuckling good-naturedly, the sound heard only within the minds of the two." I didn't quite understand this sentence at first. It began with the unicorn's eyes, then got lost somewhere along the way of it throwing back its head. I also thought the last little clause about the chuckling sounded a little awkward. I think this sentence could use a little rewriting. You might change it to something more like this: "The unicorn looked at Fiera with its amber eyes, then tossed back its head. Fiera could hear its chuckle in her mind." Strictly an example, of course, with just the bare minimum.

I thought there were a few instances in this chapter that bordered on the "telling" aspect of writing when I felt that "showing" would have been more effective. The part when Zanzibar hints at what the human did to Fiera as well as the very last sentence are both examples. Zanzibar's hinting was a little better, but I thought it might have been better to have Fiera recollect something on her own, without any prompting, just automatically. Zanzibar could mention the loss of her innocence and her mind could go back to whatever it was that happened to her. It might be very effective to have her recall just one overpowering sensory detail, such as a smell or a texture. At this point, I don't really believe that the last fifteen years are really the darkest. I think there's a bit more work to be done to really sell it. It doesn't have to be graphic, just enough to get the point across to the reader. I know from experience that this is a very difficult thing to accomplish.

I hope this is helpful to you. Please message me if you're at all confused. I know I don't always make the greatest sense when I'm sick.

Lora