Chapter IX: Broken Trust

Harry desires more with Bellatrix and Tonks tells Harry that Dumbledore can't be trusted and her nerves begin to fray.

               Harry gave a weak smile at Bellatrix's answer and nodded. He suddenly realized that the silence was getting awkward and gently pulled his hand out from under hers.

                "Well, I guess maybe we should go to bed and discuss this more in the morning," he said quietly, gazing into her eyes. Their deep, electric purple seemed to captivate him and he couldn't tear his own eyes away. Bellatrix suddenly broke the stare by lowering her head and nodding.

                "I understand. After all, it's hard to think about being with someone so much older than you," she whispered. Harry's eyes widened and he immediately grabbed her hand again.

                "No... that's not it! I don't care about that," he insisted. Bellatrix gave a slight grin, but he could tell that she didn't believe him.

                "It is getting late, isn't it?" she sighed, slowly standing up and putting her novel back on one of the many shelves lining the walls. "Goodnight, Harry," she said.

                "Goodnight," Harry replied, kissing her again before she left the study to go up to her room. Harry leaned back and sighed.

                His head was spinning. This was the first time he had felt such strong feelings for another person. Cho Chang didn't even register on his radar compared to this. He had told Bellatrix that her age didn't matter to him and it was true, yet Harry couldn't shake the feeling that she didn't believe him, which made his heart ache. Harry was also confused. Would this lead to something more between them? He hoped so, but he knew that if they were to be together, it would cause terrible complications, especially with Tonks. She would be furious. She was still convinced that Bellatrix was evil, and Tonks was his friend. He didn't want to make her angry, either. After all, she was already under a lot of stress lately. His thoughts turned back to Bellatrix, and he tried to recapture that lingering feeling of adrenaline and happiness when he had kissed her. He decided that he would try and see if she wanted a relationship with him. These feelings were too strong to ignore and he had a feeling that he would live to regret it if he did.

                Looking down at his watch, he saw that it was almost midnight. A soft tap showed him that Tonks was still at work and Dumbledore was at Hogwarts. Frowning, he wondered why Tonks would be working so late into the night and if Dumbledore had any idea of his agreement with her. He got up from his seat, stretched and headed off to his own room for the night, wondering what the next morning would bring.

*   *   *

                Sighing, Tonks rubbed her eyes and tried to focus on her paperwork, but it was impossible. She was exhausted and hadn't slept in forty-two hours. Her encounter with Dumbledore had shaken her and her work was the only place she felt safe right now. Kingsley Shacklebolt walked into her small office, and frowned at Tonks' unnerved demeanour.

                "Tonks, go home and get some sleep," he advised. "You look like you need a break."

                "I'm fine, Kingsley. Don't worry about me," Tonks replied, sighing heavily, massaging her temples with her index fingers. Kingsley raised an eyebrow unconvincingly.

                "Are you sure you're alright? You look shaken. Did something happen to you?" he asked kindly. Tonks slammed her paperwork down on her desk and gave Shacklebolt a menacing stare.

                "I said I'm fine!" she snapped. "Can you let me get back to my work or are you just going to stand there, distracting me?" Kingsley frowned and shook his head before walking out of the room, leaving Tonks even more agitated and distressed than before.

                As Shacklebolt exited the office, Tonks put her head down on the desk, using her arms as a cushion and sighed heavily. She really was exhausted. Tonks yawned and closed her eyes for a short rest...

                "Ms. Tonks!" Rufus Scrimguar, Head of the Auror Department shouted brusquely. Tonks was snapped out of her sleep immediately and jolted to attention.

                "Y-Yes, sir?" she said, trying and failing to sound professional, seeing as how she had just been caught sleeping at her desk.

                "I will not tolerate laziness! It's only eight-thirty in the morning and you're already slacking off. Your shift starts in a half-hour! You are an Auror! Act like one!" he shouted before stalking out of the office.

                "Yes, sir!" Tonks replied obediently. She didn't bother to point out that she had worked late into the night and that was why she had fallen asleep. She knew excuses would only aggravate her superiors more. The second he was out of earshot, Tonks kicked the wastepaper bin by her chair, sending it careening into the wall, spilling the crumpled pieces of parchment inside. "D****t!" she swore. She had slept here all night. She grabbed her purse and left the Ministry. Before she started her shift, she had to see Harry.

*   *   *

                "Dobby, could you do me a favour please?" Harry asked the house-elf when he went downstairs the next morning.

                "Of course. Anything for Harry Potter," Dobby beamed, pausing his sweeping for a moment to listen to Harry's instructions.

                "Thanks Dobby. Bellatrix is still asleep, so could you bring a breakfast tray up to her room for her?" Dobby gave Harry a quizzical look, but nodded all the same.

                "It would be my pleasure, Harry Potter," he squeaked, bounding to the pantry to start breakfast right away. Harry went to the cemetery while waiting for Dobby to finish breakfast. It was now early December, with Christmas fast approaching. Three feet of snow covered nearly everything in sight, with more flakes falling from the sky. A fierce wind bit through Harry's cloak as it swished around his ankles in protest. He kneeled in front of Sirius' memoriam and reverently placed one of Hedwig's feathers in one of the crevices in the stone so the wind wouldn't blow it away.

                "I don't know if you can hear me where you are, but I need to talk to you anyway," he whispered to his dead godfather. "I don't know how you knew Bellatrix was innocent and I don't think I'll ever know, but a part of me thanks you for shattering her marriage contract," Harry sighed, absent-mindedly digging a small hole in the snow with his gloved thumb, and continued. "I really care about her. It's so strange, because a year ago, I would have killed her on sight, but now..." Harry paused for a moment, unsure of how to finish his sentence. "Now, after finding out about the contract and living with her for all these months, it's almost as if it was meant to happen, you know?" Suddenly, Harry realized that he could no longer feel his toes and stood up, shaking the snow from his hair. With one last look at his godfather's memoriam, Harry turned around and walked back towards the mansion.

                When he got inside, Dobby was waiting for him in the foyer to take Harry's cloak for him. "Dobby, I know you like helping me and everything, but you're my friend, not my slave," Harry reminded him. Dobby's eyes filled with tears, but he blinked them back and shook his head before taking Harry's winter clothes and hanging them up neatly.

                "Ah, Harry Potter is too kind to poor Dobby. Dobby enjoys serving such a kind master," he bowed politely. Harry knew it was no use trying to protest, so he just nodded and went upstairs to see Bellatrix. He nervously tried to flatten his unruly hair and knocked softly on her bedroom door.

                "It's open, Harry," he heard Bellatrix say. He eased the heavy oak door open to see Bellatrix still lying in bed with her breakfast tray on her lap. There was no mistaking the way her eyes lit up this time when she saw him. She let out a radiant smile that made Harry's heart feel very light all of a sudden.

                "Thank you for the breakfast," she said kindly, setting her finished tray aside and combing her fingers through her long black hair, trying to untangle it. Harry thought there was no need, though. She looked absolutely stunning to him at that moment. He smiled and sat down on the edge of her bed.

                "It wasn't a problem. Dobby did all the work, actually," he admitted.

                "Well, he told me that it was your idea, so thank you for thinking of me," she replied softly. Harry looked away for a moment to catch his breath. Simply being around Bellatrix made it hard for Harry to breathe. He slowly looked up and met her gaze before clearing his throat.

                "Bellatrix... about last night," Harry began. Bellatrix shook her head and grabbed his hand to silence him.

                "Harry, I already know what you're going to say," she replied. "That last night was a mistake. You should never have kissed me and I'm too old for you." Her voice trailed off in a sad whisper. Harry sighed and shook his head, gently lifting her chin so that her eyes were level with his.

                "Actually, I was going to say the exact opposite. I'm glad last night happened. I think I would have regretted it for the rest of my life if I hadn't kissed you, and age isn't a factor," he said firmly. Bellatrix bit her lip, looking unconvinced. Harry did the only thing he knew would convince her. He leaned forward and kissed her again. This kiss lasted quite a bit longer than the one that had happened last night, and when they broke apart, Bellatrix's eyes were wide and searching, unsure of what to think. Harry looked her straight in the eye.

                "What more do I have to do to convince you?" he asked, exasperated. Bellatrix's lips curved into a faint smile and she shook her head.

                "Nothing," she whispered. "I believe you."

                Harry smiled and leaned forward to kiss her again, but Dobby appeared at the doorway. Both of them immediately moved away from each other, clearing their throats and rubbing the back of their necks awkwardly.

                "Er... Dobby. What is it?" Harry asked, hoping that the house-elf hadn't been standing there too long. He wasn't ashamed to be with Bellatrix, but he wasn't sure if it was a good idea to reveal the truth about their relationship to anyone just yet. Bellatrix seemed to be thinking along the same lines, because she gave Harry an awkward, sideways glance.

                "Ms. Nymphadora Tonks is in the foyer. She says it's urgent that she speak with you," Dobby squeaked. He wasn't stupid. Dobby knew what was going on between his master and Bellatrix, but chose to ignore it.

                "She's not in trouble, is she?" Bellatrix asked with concern. Harry felt awful for her. She desperately wanted to protect her niece, but she knew she couldn't.

                "I do not know, Ms. Black. She just said it was urgent and that she wished to speak with Harry Potter right away," he answered. Harry frowned. Did something important come up in the Order?

                "Thanks Dobby. I'll be right there," Harry told the house-elf. Dobby nodded and walked out of the room. Bellatrix looked at Harry pleadingly.

                "You'll tell me if she's hurt, won't you?" Bellatrix asked him, worried. Harry sighed. This was a difficult question.

                "I want to, but I'd betray her if I did," Harry said reluctantly. Bellatrix nodded, but looked upset.

                "Of course. It's alright, Harry. I don't want her to hate you, too," she said. Harry gave her a sympathetic look and gently squeezed her hand before going down to the foyer. Tonks was there, looking very woebegone.

                "You don't look good," Harry commented. "Is everything okay?" Tonks just frowned and leaned against the nearest wall.

                "Sort of," she said. When Harry raised his eyebrows, she went on. "Dumbledore can't be trusted, Harry," she said firmly. Harry led her to the sitting room and sat on the couch opposite her.

                What do you mean?" Harry asked. He was confused. He knew Dumbledore didn't agree with what Harry was doing, but saying he can't be trusted was a bit of a stretch in his opinion.

                "Yesterday, he called me to talk. At first I thought he had found out about me spying on the Order for you, but it turned out that McGonagal told him about my concerns for what he was doing. I told him the same thing I told him before; that I think he's going about things the wrong way and that I didn't care if it upset him or not." She paused to catch her breath. She had said all this rather fast.

                "What happened then?" Harry asked. She seemed almost frightened. Harry had never known Tonks to be afraid of anything and it disturbed him.

                "Well, he wasn't pleased, that's for sure," she replied. "Anyway, that wasn't what bugged me. When I turned my back to walk out of his office, he used Occlumency on me. I managed to shield my mind before he found our conversations, but the fact that he would break the law proves that he's not going to stop unless he gets what he wants." Tonks was breathing rather quickly, but otherwise stayed calm. Harry, however was furious!

                "He did what?" he shouted, standing up. Tonks just sat there looking stunned. "He can't get away with that! Why didn't you arrest him?" Tonks frowned and stood up. She was a good three inches taller than Harry, so it wasn't hard for her to stand over him.

                "Really! Arrest Albus Dumbledore? That's a laugh!" she shouted. "The man's invincible!" Harry was ready to flip out entirely.

                "WE'RE STOPPING HIM! BOTH OF US!" Harry shouted murderously. The sky suddenly darkened and every window in the room shattered, raining down broken glass on both his and Tonks' heads. They both stood there, scratched and bleeding. Tonks whipped out her wand and pointed it at Harry.

                "You've been using the Dark Arts!" she shouted venomously at him. Harry opened his mouth to protest. "Shut up! Don't lie to me!" she screeched. "Only someone skilled in the Dark Arts could have changed the weather and broken the glass like that! She's been teaching you all along, hasn't she? I knew it!"

                "Tonks, just calm down for a second!" Harry shouted.

                "Who's side are you on, Harry?" she screamed, still pointing her wand at Harry's throat.

                "Yours and you know it! Bellatrix is, too!" Harry tried to explain, but Tonks threw back her head and laughed derisively.

                "Yeah right!" she scoffed. Shoving her wand back into her belt, she stalked out of the sitting room, through the foyer, ready to leave the mansion. Harry chased after her, and grabbed her wrist to stop her from leaving. He needed to explain the entire thing to her. Curse his stupid anger, he thought. Tonks retaliated by wrenching his hand off her wrist and shoving him hard into the giant statue of her mother.

                "Don't touch me!" she hissed before running down the mansion's drive and apparating. Harry rubbed his shoulder, panting in pain. He let her go. Picking himself up off the floor, Harry tried to sort things through in his head. Tonks wasn't a violent person, unless she was in battle. Why had she gotten physical with Harry? She had every right to be upset, but he never thought that she would go to such extremes.

                "She's scared, Harry," Bellatrix said, standing on the stairs. Harry looked up at her.

                "Were you there the whole time?" Harry asked, still massaging his bruised shoulder. Bellatrix shook her head.

                "No, I only came down when I heard glass shattering. I heard the argument, but that's all," she explained, rushing down the stairs to help Harry to a seat in the kitchen.

                "Thanks," Harry muttered when she helped him to a chair. "What does her being scared have anything to do with the way she freaked out like that?" he asked. Bellatrix sighed and sat down beside him.

                "Aurors go through brutal training before they graduate into the Ministry," she answered. "It's like the muggle military... downright abusive at times. They're trained to mask emotions like sadness and fear and replace it with anger and hatred. It's not emotionally healthy, but what does the Ministry care? As long as it's efficient, that's all that matters to them," she spat bitterly. "Tonks is no different."

                "Do you think she'll cool off after a bit?" he asked. He had known becoming an Auror was tough because you needed top grades in school, but he had never thought about what it took after you graduated from wizarding school.

                "I'm sure of it. Despite what she's gone through, she's not a complete emotional wreck," Bellatrix smiled. She suddenly looked Harry up and down and frowned. "You're bleeding," she said with concern. She pulled her wand out of her robes and began healing his injuries, muttering incomprehensible words under her breath as she did so. Harry immediately felt the pain from his cuts subside.

                "You know, Christmas is coming up and we still don't have a tree," Harry said, changing the subject. Bellatrix put her wand away and grinned.

                "You're right. We'll have to change that," she replied.