Staked

When you have nothing left to lose. When you have nothing left.

Pathetic is the word that is best to use

to constitute the reasons for which I abuse.

I dont' know what happened. I don't want it this way.

Why is this better? I want you to stay.

I fall at your feet. I'm brittle. I'm crying.

I can't take this anymore. I feel like I"m dying.

How could this happen? How could I abuse

the one thing in life I can't stand to lose.

We may be so different, but is that so wrong?

There's always been harmony between our two songs.

I'm dying. I can't take this. I'm lost and confused.

How in the hell could I have ever abused?

For my sin, there's no penance. You deserve to be fine.

It's blasphemy to harm you, to damn the divine.

These words, they're toxic; acidic with truth.

Your burns and your scars come from my lack of couth.

My reason, my judgment, will fail you no more.

I don't want to hurt you. I've walked out the door.

I've robbed you of laughter and have grown to hate mine.

We used to be happy. Is this parting a sign?

The ash catches fire as it burns from the smolder.

Yet, as the fire ignites, it only grows colder.

My body rejects the fact that you're gone.

I can never be rid of you, but is that so wrong?

I've tried to change. I have and I failed.

I would try again, but that ship has sailed.

I want no one else. No one, but you.

I'm staked in the heart, but YOU'RE bleeding through.

You shouldn't suffer because of my pain,

So I leave you, my love, as I crawl away slain.

Please try to forgive me. It's all in the past.

Please tell me that this day won't be our last.

I see us; our future, in glorious time.

I see us together. This vision's sublime.

From rapture to rapture, from beginning to end,

We can no longer work unless one of us bends.

Too stuborn, too psycho, too wrapped in one's self.

These accursed traits were robbing your health.

I hate them, I hate ME, but I can't seem to change.

We weren't like this before. It all seems so strange.

I write you these words in the wake of my going

to leave you these thoughts as my love continues growing.

Now to your knowledge, I reap what I'm sowing.

I miss your soft kiss. I wish I weren't going.

I leave you my dreams that embody my bane.

I fight for my mind and my right to keep sane.

My mind remains clouded with what seems to be rage.

My existance is hollow. I need out of this cage.

You shouldn't suffer because of my pain,

So I leave you my love as I die here in vain.

Author's Note

I still love her. ...and I always will.

Reviews

[Ashley.M.E]

this is really good I like it alot. So much feeling. I read another of your poems, didn't leave a comment, but your really really good at it.

I noticed a few errors though... very little things though, a lot better then I can do I know I make a lot of mistakes, but I liek to fix them so... i hope you don't mind?
line 3. dont' (don't)
line 6. i"m (i'm)
line 37. stuborn (stubborn)
line 48. existance (existence)

[LlamaLord]

Beautiful. Loved it. This made me relive some of the tough times I had going through depression from lost love. Thanks. Lovely piece.

Good luck in my competition!

Austin D.

[Jade Mayhew]

Oh my gosh! This was amazing!!! I just relived my hardest break up, but don't worry, I liked it!!! You captured the feelings of a person's broken hearted so well! This is a great poem. Thanks for entering it in my contest! :]]]

[chloe cruz]

Whatever anyone says, this was perfect. The rhyming was amazingly done... and the verses just capture people's hearts and eyes. I'm SO glad that you entered this piece in my contest! Its really been hard since I've gotten a lot of damn great poems, but I'll assure you yours has been one of the best. The spelling errors were few, but I don't care about it, truthfully. The poem was so good and compelling I just shrugged it off. Thanks for sharing!

[Blade & Blood (The ..]

Wow, that was excellent! The content and structure were both just perfect, but I must say, this seems like an unfamiliar style of yours. Either way, I love it!

This poem sounds very heartbreaking; such a panicked tone as the words just come gushing out. It just flowed so smoothly and the rhymes seem so natural; it just really amazed me and it sounded great! Your words are very descriptive, and that's very impressive for a poem like this, which describes more mental troubles than physical ones.

Thanks for posting this one, buddy. It was absolutely phenomenal!

Ironically Yours, Blade and Blood

[Fran Marie]

[Angela]

This is a beautiful piece. It's full of pain, shame, grief, regret, sorrow and love. What a range of emotions. I really feel it. Excellent work!! Kudos

[Salvatore Buttaci]

First of all, let me say that I love your poem. Since you asked me, I would suggest correcting a few spelling errors you missed when you wrote it, as well as a couple of lines that I think need a little tweaking because it sounds like jolted rhythm. I hope you will not be offended by my suggestions.

I've placed those lines here and in parentheses what I suggest:

the one thing in life I can't stand to loose. (lose)
Too stuborn, to psycho, too wrapped in one's self. (too psycho)
I hate them, I hate ME, but I can't seem to cange. (change)
to leave you these thoughts as my love continues growing. (change "continues" to a two-syllabled word)
I miss your soft kiss. I wish I weren't going. ("weren't" seems to need a different word. The stress there seems too strong)

Thanks for sharing a great poem and asking for my opinion.

Sal