Lust and Longing

-This one's for you Rachael.- A poem written to capture the duality of obsession.

Who is this creature that slumbers so soundly?

What is this madness that drives so profoundly?

My cloak; the blackness, is all now, but spared.

My desire so close, but yet not, she's scared.

 

What is this power?

I don't understand.

So late is the hour,

I ought not lay a hand.

 

This creature, so perfect,

I must make her mine.

But its blasphemy to harm her;

To damn the divine.

 

I can't live without her,

Yet I ought not disturb

This slumbering creature

Who is so superb.

 

So with a small kiss, I betroth to thee,

This slumbering creature in front of me,

A promise, a pact, of eternal desire

That flows through my veins as a maddening fire,

That no man, nor no beast shall take thee from me.

I'm nothing to you. You're all to me.

 

I pray that you're dreaming this dream I desire.

I dare to hope that I am your fire.

So with this small kiss, I leave you this dream.

I pray that you ought not wake up and scream.

 

The damned are the damned.

Nothing has changed.

If you accept me,

You must be deranged.

 

I leave you, my sweet,

Unblemished; unknowing,

That this passion I hold

Is forever growing.

Not to your knowledge,

I reap what I'm sowing.

So with this last kiss,

I fear that I'm going. 

 

Upon a dark night, when the blackness clings,

I shall return as the reaper sings

His song of lament, so filled with longing.

I'll take you that night, to me belonging.

 

As I wear my cloak of night once more,

I want you to know that I'm outside your door.

Waiting for you, forever more,

Always watching, outside your door.

 

For now I vanish into this night.

Fear not the darkness. Disown the light.

These eyes that you feel upon thee are mine,

For it is blasphemy to damn the divine.

Reviews

[robin]

Some of the message of this poem is confusing. The darkness is also divine as is the creature looking over this soul. You make reference to damning the divine and blasphemy. The devil may care about blasphemy (aka he doesn't care) so who cares about damnation or blasphemy? I love the darkness equally with the light for they are ideas not reality. Which side is your darkness on? I read your bio so I know you want more than praise. I too am a romantic artist, I just wish your dark character had more conviction. He can be mad but let him have focus/certainty, a method to the madness.
Robin

[Lady Of Darkness]

Well written and thought out.
I loved the flow of this piece.
Nice choice of words too.
Well done :)

[Amanda]

a wondeful story of obsession...i love the flow and the rhythm of it. the vampire theme is one i just love.

very well written, a great piece of work.

Always,

Amanda

[Dark Daughters]

It is definitely well written and expresses the duality wonderfully.

[Nicole]

I don't usually go for poetry. never could write it myself. I haven't the head for it, but I admire it in others. That said, I like this. ^-^ No clue why, I just do. I think you have talent. So, if you ever do decide to get anything published, try the Poetry Writer's Market. Big book. Avaliable in bookstores. Should be around $30.

[Star-Runner]

I think It's wonderful, your rhyming scheme flowed, It all came together very well, I like it bunches.

[M_S_Lay]

wow... Its a wonderful look through the eyes of a predator that has fallen in love with it's prey.
I could feel the struggle between what he feels for her and his hunger.
Bravo

[Cats Eye]

I love this poem, its so well written and just great all over, so well in fact that all I can really think is great job on the poem!

[Your Tasty Field Adviso..]

i cant compair my writing to how well you write. i absolutely love the subject matter of the poem. i could never write a poem of the same subject and make it worded that well. great piece of art.

[Vee]

Finally ! I was waiting for you to write her a love poem!

[Clouded in Hopeful Illu..]

Well I think you are right. I might be attached to this piece. It is very well written and I love the rhyme scheme. It's something different when it comes to vampires and such, but I think the rhyming does this one justice.

"yet not, she's scared." --- I think this one needs a semi-colon, not a comma.

"That no man, or no beast will take thee from me." --- I really like how you added "or no beast". That really helps to push the reader into the realm of werewolves, vampires and the like.

"I'm nothing to you. You're all to me" --- This is my favorite sentence. I don't know why. I think it gives a lot to the reasoning behind the vampire and that there is more to it than just "blasphemy to damn the divine".

"Not to you knowledge," --- your not you.

"to me belonging." --- This was a little weird to read. Did you mean my instead of me? Or is it suppose to be as such?