Lust and Longing

-This one's for you Rachael.- A poem written to capture the duality of obsession.

Who is this creature that slumbers so soundly?

What is this madness that drives so profoundly?

My cloak; the blackness, is all now, but spared.

My desire so close, but yet not, she's scared.

 

What is this power?

I don't understand.

So late is the hour,

I ought not lay a hand.

 

This creature, so perfect,

I must make her mine.

But its blasphemy to harm her;

To damn the divine.

 

I can't live without her,

Yet I ought not disturb

This slumbering creature

Who is so superb.

 

So with a small kiss, I betroth to thee,

This slumbering creature in front of me,

A promise, a pact, of eternal desire

That flows through my veins as a maddening fire,

That no man, nor no beast shall take thee from me.

I'm nothing to you. You're all to me.

 

I pray that you're dreaming this dream I desire.

I dare to hope that I am your fire.

So with this small kiss, I leave you this dream.

I pray that you ought not wake up and scream.

 

The damned are the damned.

Nothing has changed.

If you accept me,

You must be deranged.

 

I leave you, my sweet,

Unblemished; unknowing,

That this passion I hold

Is forever growing.

Not to your knowledge,

I reap what I'm sowing.

So with this last kiss,

I fear that I'm going. 

 

Upon a dark night, when the blackness clings,

I shall return as the reaper sings

His song of lament, so filled with longing.

I'll take you that night, to me belonging.

 

As I wear my cloak of night once more,

I want you to know that I'm outside your door.

Waiting for you, forever more,

Always watching, outside your door.

 

For now I vanish into this night.

Fear not the darkness. Disown the light.

These eyes that you feel upon thee are mine,

For it is blasphemy to damn the divine.

Reviews

[robin]

Some of the message of this poem is confusing. The darkness is also divine as is the creature looking over this soul. You make reference to damning the divine and blasphemy. The devil may care about blasphemy (aka he doesn't care) so who cares about damnation or blasphemy? I love the darkness equally with the light for they are ideas not reality. Which side is your darkness on? I read your bio so I know you want more than praise. I too am a romantic artist, I just wish your dark character had more conviction. He can be mad but let him have focus/certainty, a method to the madness.
Robin

[Paladin4life]

Very interesting piece, one of the forbidden love of the shadowy visitor for this innocent and fair maiden. I like that the girl is unaware of her visitor and of his feelings. She is at his mercy yet he dares not disturb her. I enjoyed the piece!

[DiggeyEleven]

Although I do agree with Robin that it is a little confusing, I do like the imagery and the darkness that emanates throughout this poem. It had a very Rumpelstiltskin tone to it, kind of riddle type of flow, I guess you're death himself in this poem but I'm not sure if I have called it correctly. Great Read.

[Lydia]

Simply wonderful. You have real talent, and it would be a shame if you stopped writing... so don't :)

I especially loved the last few stanzas. Amazing!

[Summer R]

I agree with howl, this is a marvelous piece,,the ryme is perfect. I got goosebumps reading,,,great work.

[Lexi Nicole]

Very impressive writing, there isn't a single this about this that I don't like. The flow is completely flawless and the wording is great. Your imagery in very nice as well. Great work with this!

-Howl

[Pookie]

DAMN!!
That was so hot.
It painted such a good picture in my head.

[Linda Stinson]

You really know how to put them words down on paper. I would say you are excellent in expressing your feelings. I felt the love, the desire, and most of all the desperation, a driving force. The flow was smooth and the poem moved me. I can almost feel your pain, and probably would have but I had to root through mine to get to yours. I always like it when a writing moves me to remember. This did, you are skilled.

[Cherryblossom]

This poem is so catabating(I can't spell sorry). So wonderful. I enjoyed every line, every word. Great piece. :)

[Mitji]

Oh my word! I absolutely loved this one it was awesome and so heartfelt and I loved how you dedicated it to someone...It sent chills through my body...I would die if someone wrote this for me!