Inner Demon

This is a very personal poem for all, written to capture and understand the demon in us all.

The wind whispers my name as it tears this scorched land.

Barren and desolate, dried to nothing but sand,

This place, it seethes with emptiness and fear,

Locking its grip, taking all I hold dear.

 

I feel the freedom so near to my face,

Yet I see nothing but hate in this place.

This stark and scorched wasteland, winds forever more.

This barren, trapped wasteland holds no door

To the answers I seek for this mystery of mine.

In this cold barren place; its within my mind that I'm confined.

 

Pale green leaves shiver in the crisp breeze of time

From their green colored masses,

To mere dust and ashes.

Says the prophet in me, "A sign."

 

Suddenly, all seems to pause,

As this apparent cause

Transcends from the ashes and sand.

He spoke with no voice

And I listened with no choice,

Expecting this deity to reprimand.

Awoken from ashes,

His word violently slashes

At everything I thought I knew.

His words, like a dream,

Shatter all that I've seen.

No. This can not be true.

 

"But too soon time invades and reminds me I have places to be,"

Said this unspeaking, unforgiving deity.

"For soon you shall see,

The horror I'll make you to be.

Farewell, I descend

To the ash I transcend.

You'll never be rid of me."

Reviews

[MarieCo214]

That is amazing, but I think you're missing one aspect about everyone's inner demons. Sometimes, our demons are not the blame. I wonder if you switched the views because like everyone else, I have inner demons too, just not like this. When I was a child, my best friends were my inner demons and my enemies were my guardian angels.
I love the demon though and your details are amazing. The rhymes and rhythm here are, in my opinion, actually better than what I had read in that "Lust and Longing" poem you wrote. I like this one better, whether older or newer. Right now, I'm not checkin', just sayin'. I'm sorry if this offends though, but another thing is that I didn't feel it as much as I could have. There's good details, a nice steady rhythm, a good flow of rhymes, except I didn't feel what was so tormenting about this demon. What does this demon make us feel? You had us see him, now have us know why we fear him.

[L.G. Knight]

Nicely done but not quite what I was looking for for this contest however that said this is fantastic! I absolutely love the way you make that inner demon real and for some people if he is more real he is easier to accept... again this was VERY well done with great structure and wonderful rhymes... Great job Morgan!

~Frances~

[Brandon Taylor-Black]

Our inner demons, taking fuel from our emotions.
This was painful, yet very 'contactable' It spoke to me.
My inner demon takes over a little too much...
Wonderful writing.

Bravo

'D'

[Amanda]

our inner demon is always there waiting for us to give it life when we least expect it. it tortures and torments us, makes us feel unworthy. the secret is not to give it life, not to let it rise...though it is sometimes easier said than done.

this is a very good write...the flow and imagery is really nice. good work!

Always,

Amanda

[Corey Lunare-]

Yes, our demons are always there...lying in wait...for that perfect time when we are most vulnerable. Damn them...It;s up to us to resist that demon inside of us all...the treachery we are all capable of. Geat job on this, you did a wonderful job capturing the demon inside in great detail.

[Lady Of Darkness]

Ahh but to understand our inner demons
We are our own demon our own worst enemy.
we must all face our own fear in order to get rid of it
Great write

[Vee]

I really like this one because it's one i myself can relate to something i think everyone can relate to even if they dont know it.

[[untitled]]

This poem really represents how people have inner demons. Sometimes it's hard to overcome them. I think the words you chose bring out the power in this piece of poetry. Great work!

[Clouded in Hopeful Illu..]

Everyone of us has our own demon and we all describe it in different ways. You not only nailed the demon, but you hit home hard with the description of the land. If your inner demon is tormenting you, you aren't going to see rainbows and butterflies. It can't always be rainbows and butterflies. I think you did a good job and taking your audiance to the darkest part of their souls to face their demons.

[Silent Pacer]

you know, you've never read this one to me. (yes, though it may appear that I dont listen do to short consintation abilities, but I actually do and remember) I really like this one, kinda reminds me of that one that you had stuck in your head one of the days you were helping me...