October Sky

For my best friend Cynthia for her birthday.

As the sun sinks

Behind those distant,

Unnamed hills

My mind falls into

Reverie inspired

Of tangerine golden,

Cloud kissed October Sky.

 

Swimming back…

          Back…

              Backwards…

In time

To those Samhains we spent

Communing with spirits

And French-tricking

Neighbors for treats.

 

Now we whisper

Our wishes through

Fruit flavored smoke

In prayer that our

Matching jade hearts

Will be a set again

Soon.

Author's Note

Enjoy =)

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

aaaaaaawwwwwww! what a fine tribute to your friend .. i actually really like the font and color! it works with the theme quite well says i ... thoroughly appreciate the reference to the Celts .. :) and i am equally intrigued by "...French-tricking" .. guess i shall go a googling to see what i can find .. your poem captured and held me ... for me the change to action in
"Swimming back…

Back…

Backwards…
is wonderful .. felt the drifting so comfortably!
very enjoyable read for me!
E.

[Ashira Macy]

I am happy to see that you found most of my little secrets in this work, almost like a detective looking for clues. I am afraid you probably won't find anything on Google for "French-tricking", as only a few people I grew up with would understand the reference off the bat. Thank you as always for your wonderful review my friend!

[Rocans]

I wish someone would do me the honour and write a poem like this for me on my birthday. Cynthia is very lucky. Cuz this one was sweet and well conceived. I enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing.

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you my friend, I am so glad you liked it. I don't have a whole lot to give people, but I do have words. We work with what we are given. =)

[Colton Warr]

Astounding piece here! Well penned. I could feel the very emotion you were trying to convey. I love this poem. Thanks for writing!

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you so much!!!

[Avinash]

Beautiful words and equally pretty the font choice. It shows your emotions towards someone very dear to you. It was a pleasure reading.

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you Avinash, I am happy you liked it!

[Christopher Robin]

This is nicely penned, sets a lovely vision, if I had to make one criticism (and you know I do) I would say that some of the places where this if formatted and cut result in a tiny shift away from perfect overall cadence. This makes the read ever so slightly halting - for something invoking memories I feel there should be as much flow as possible. This may be more a personal gripe than a technical one, which must be refreshing considering my past reviews. This is excellent work. Close to a great cascade poem but that's not the style you're going for, but to almost accidentally achieve it is something rather nice!

-Robin

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you for your words and honesty Robin, I may play around a bit with the format, as I have found that I am not totally satisfied with it either. I have actually never tried a cascade poem before, so I will have to look it up and see what I can do with that form later. So happy you enjoyed it!

[Lyan]

Awe it's soo sweet! I miss Cynthia too:(

[Ashira Macy]

I know right? I wish she hadn't moved!

[Lyan]

Me too! Well hopefully she will come back after he finishes his law thing.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Nothing like a good friend who understands your heartaches… Very nicely done.

[Ashira Macy]

Thanks so much sir!

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

You are very welcome.

[Rache David]

love it.
Your poem makes me feel I wanna go back in those time -- where my heart really is...
It's simple yet it conveys a lot of emotions.
Hidden for a while but bring forth at the end.
Thank you for sharing. :-)

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you so much for your kind words, I am so glad you connected with this one. =)

[yuki]

Like this i would put a coma after "set again" to let the reader know theres a pause otherwise its gokd and love it :)

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you for your suggestion dear, I will take a look! And thanks for reading!

[yuki]

My pleasure

[Delmar Cooper]

Taught me a new word today, thanks.

[Ashira Macy]

Which word? Samhain?

[Delmar Cooper]

That's the one.

[Lyn Anderson]

I like that this is a personal poem but easily relatable.

[Ashira Macy]

Thanks KL, glad you were able to relate!