Flux

Banging on impermeable

Sound-proof walls

Of this hour glass,

Slowly filling to the brim

With skin scorching,

Suffocating sands of

If only

And shattered seashells of

Too late.

Roads take sharp turns,

The grit flowing backwards

In disordered fluctuation,

Tearing at the psych

In a torrent fit for

The asylum of

Could be

And hopeful chant of

I can…

Author's Note

Came to me during work today for some reason.

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

OK .. can not help but be curious as to your work place!? :) i think those little bold phrases .. such common self talk quotes is a great idea .. they bring your poem home to everyone .. and the images and feel of rasping over road rash in between is exquisitely tormenting .. after all that the relief of that beautiful little action potential .." I can..."
glad i stopped here this morning .. nice one!
E.

[Ashira Macy]

I work at a pizza joint and I hate it. Lol! But yeah, this was just how I was feeling one day. Negativity warped suddenly into positivety. Glad you liked it!

[Einstein Noodle]

i worked at an Italian Restaurant in upstate NY many moons ago and learned to toss pizza dough .. i use to amuse my children with my skill when they were little pepperonis :)
E.

[Celestial Witch Child]

Very nice work. I love it. (:

[Ashira Macy]

Thanks Aster.

[yuki]

really well written nicely done :)

[Ashira Macy]

Thank Yuki.

[C. Rose]

"Roads take sharps turns" - subject verb agreement

Love the pattern of "(image) of (emotional dialogue)" like "sands of if only"

I like that you took the time to set up the descriptions and then moved into the 'psyche' side.

Thanks for sharing.

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you so much C. Rose, I am glad you enjoyed it!

[Lyn Anderson]

I like this, with the doubts and uncertainties morphing into I can. Nicely done.

[Ashira Macy]

Thanks so much KL!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

we do what we can do...but sometimes we don't and we are filled with regrets as the sand in the hour glass falls, there is no stopping it except with wishes of regret...what we can only hope for in life is to make the most of each grain of time, and then blissfully fall with the sand as time carries us on to the next hour glass.

[Ashira Macy]

Well said Jacob, we just have to take life as it comes. Thank you for reading and taking the time to review!

[Delmar Cooper]

Good metaphorical use of the physical world to show the inner world. I like that it ended on a hopeful thought.

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you so much my friend!

[Arrinae]

Sometimes the most deep and inspiring things come to us at the most random of times. I enjoyed this peice to the point that I'm at a loss for words when it comes to critisim. Well done my friend!

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you dear, I am so happy you enjoyed it!

[Sami Khalil]

"Tearing at the psych
In a torrent fit for
The asylum of
Could be
And hopeful chant of
I can…"

I'm glad this came to you and you jotted it down. Excellent as usual...:).................

[Ashira Macy]

Thanks Sami, so glad you liked it!

[Sami Khalil]

Yep. You are welcome...:)....................