Hotel Desolation

Another "Devil's Highway" inspired piece.

Lost and forgotten,

Forsaken… condemned.

 

Relentless rays of

Ultraviolet fate

Trickle down in a beat

Only water should dance to.

 

That playful liquid is long gone.

 

For Desolation drinks bone dry

Not the air alone,

But all that linger.

 

Devil’s Highway awaits

With open arms and bated breath.

 

Come on in boys,

Chase that American dream!

 

It is just…

Around…

 

 

The…

 

 

 

………………………………..

Author's Note

Let me know what you think. This was super experimental. Something different to try.

Reviews

[NoelHC]

No idea why, but this took me on a little trip, exploring ghost towns, once booming little centres of commerce, now abandoned, doors askew on hinges, broken windows, weeds growing in the middle of the streets, me on a motorcycle, revisiting a past that maybe never really existed.
Well done.

[Ashira Macy]

Thanks Noel, I am so glad it took you on that journey. Ghost towns certainly can be desolate.

[MomzillaNC]

Both your words and your visual layout drive the poem, onward, onward, onward… where?

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you dear! =)

[MomzillaNC]

You're welcome.

[Bill O. Writes]

Kickass ending. Dropoffs are just as powerful in written poetry as they are heard in songs when used. Fantastic. Fav'd

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you Bill, I have never done a drop off before so I wasn't sure how it would be taken. I am so glad you enjoyed it.

[micky]

I love the piece should experiment more;p

[Ashira Macy]

Thanks Micky, I will see what I come up with. =)

[Lady Glitter]

I imagined a decorative fountain in this dilapidated structure, silent and bone-dry. Ultraviolet fate to me indicates the darkened atmosphere of this deserted and crumbling place, where only spirits can be seen with the proper vision. I couldn't grasp an overall or total meaning in this experimental verse. I did enjoy the intense atmospheric impression.

[Ashira Macy]

Thanks Sandi, it is a weird one for sure, but I am glad you got something out of it.

[Lady Glitter]

I would not call it weird at all, though weird may mean something akin to "wicked" to someone younger. But the way you used weird sounds like how I would use it, lol. It's a very nice verse that exhibits your poetic skill. As you know, some poems are so deeply abstracted from a personal experience that no reader or writer could ever determine exactly to what the poet is referring. I have a couple of romance poems like that. They are lyrically and atmospherically beautiful, but too abstruse for anyone to decipher line for line :D But they were written through inspiration. The lines are so rich and pregnant that they each could almost be separate, one-line poems, lol.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I like how you drifted to the end...just around "the..."

the American Dream no longer exists...it is like a mirage in the desert...
we are in a world of desolation...and it's getting worse...

"the playful liquid gone"

[Ashira Macy]

Thanks Jacob, so glad you liked it. And I agree, things are just getting worse and worse.

[Sami Khalil]

"Not the air alone,
But all that linger.

Devil’s Highway awaits"

An inspired and inspiring write. Embracing the unknown with an open arms. Excellent...:).............

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you so much Sami!

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome:)...........