Queen of Hearts

How long ago were those sun painted days we spent

Backs pressed against the long grass

Gazing up at the hanging red roses,

Singing to us of their flowery ways?

 

You would cut one down for me

And she wouldn't mind her measured death,

For she knew you felt naught but love.

Her thorns retracted in peaceful acceptance.

 

Then came that dark war,

Spiriting you away like some evil specter

Or those jealous will-o'-the-wisps

Leading you on to promised demise.

 

The day they told me was the day he swept in

All blundering and nervous in his regal garb.

He handed me that rose of wedding white

Promise of a good life ringing from his lips.

 

I took no pause in accepting my fate

And as he bid me adieu I grasped that angry bud.

Sharp thorns dug into my skin in vengeance

As blood seeped down its browning stem.

 

But I did not cry, no my sanity died with you,

So I threw my head towards the sky and laughed,

Smearing blood against the brilliant white petals…

Because I always preferred my roses painted red.

Author's Note

Comments? Suggestions?

Reviews

[Nusquam Esse]

What really makes this poem work so well is that final stanza, it brings it all together and leaves a haunting image which the rest of the poem would be nothing without. Love the way you combined the imagery and metaphors of roses and their colours and thorns, with the blood which interacts with them both. Again, a superb ending on this one.

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you Esse, I am glad you felt the ending was so powerful. It is important to end with a bang every once and a while. =)

[Lyn Anderson]

I think this is one of the best things you ever wrote. The images are beautiful.

[Ashira Macy]

Wow, thank you KL, that is great to hear!

[Rob Santana]

Wow this is incredible!! Full of detail and imagery. Well written.

[Ashira Macy]

Thanks so much!

[AprilRN1210]

nice tale and imagery in this one.. confused me a little when switching from he/she to I/you/me.. but overall very nice... feels bittersweet and little twisted and dark... like seeing the different sides to your writing:)

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you April. I could see where that would get a little confusing. There are techincally four characters in this narrative, but the personification of the rose probably threw you a little. Wonderland is a confusing place. Thank you so much for your comment, it is always so great to hear from you.

[Anahat]

I simply loved it...You have painted a beautiful yet sad picture with your words in my mind
I loved the last two para's the most...the anger and the emotions...well expressed!
Amazing work!
-Love Anahat :)

[Ashira Macy]

Thanks so much Anahat, I am so glad you liked this. And nice to meet you dear. =)

[Anahat]

Well, pleasure's all mine :)

[Ntandoyenkosi Ngcobo]

Really love it!!...Amazing... :) " But I did not cry, no my sanity died with you,
So I threw my head towards the sky and laughed,"...Especially these two lines ··

[Ashira Macy]

Thanks so much, those are two of my favorite lines too. =)

[hardeep sabharwal]

Great, last four lines are wonderful
good job :)

[Ashira Macy]

Thanks Hardeep.

[John Ryan]

Smearing the blood against the white petals because I always preferred my roses painted red'

STRIKING VISUALS

wonderful simply breath taking

[Ashira Macy]

Thanks so much John!

[Igarin]

Poignant, dark, and intense...

[Ashira Macy]

Thanks Igarin.

[Rocans]

Great!! This was very articulate and poetic. Your words were well chosen and conveyed your meaning well. Definitely one of the best I've read by you! :)

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you so much Rocans, that is great to hear!