What If...?

What if I can't?

What if… I am just not cut out to be

All those things that you expect of me?

 

What if… I fall into that endless abyss,

Or I jump in, unable to continue this?

 

What if… I already reached my forte,

Audience cleared out, nothing more to say?

 

What if… my candle burned down too fast,

Confident light fading into the past?

 

What if… I fail and let you down once more?

What could a disappointment like me be good for?

Author's Note

Reviews

[Avanthika]

This reminds me of a blog i had written on What if ...? indeed its a topic to be discussed, because every now and then we often think what if .... i had done this , i had done that ....The what if question never ends , this piece of yours inspires me to post my blog in writerscafe. thank you Ashira.

[Ashira Macy]

Wow, thanks so much Avanthika, I hope you do post it!

[Kenneth Nicholas Lowe]

My mind goes through these simulations on a daily basis... You put them down neatly in words... Good diction and form

[Briana O'Connor]

Ah the power of the what ifs. We all have em but not all can express them the way you have. well done.

[Ashira Macy]

Thanks so much my friend!

[Angad Waraich]

There comes a point in life where all off us do end up questioning ourselves.
SOULFUL WRITING.

Thank you for sharing.
-Angad

[Ashira Macy]

That was definitely one of those nights. Thanks so much for your words!

[Frozen Eyes]

Not even in some alternate universe cud U be a disappointment, So U need not worry about that. As always U actually shaked a lot of thoughts that every writer perhaps has once in a lifetime.. "what if..?"
But therez a saying I belive in and may be u'll do too-
If the light at the end of the tunnel doesnt shine, just change the cells of ur flashlight and make the tunnel glow..
Love to read u girl.. keep writing.. XOXO

[Ashira Macy]

You are so sweet, thank you for your comforting words my dear, I truly appreciate them. I like that saying, thank you for that! XD

[ron]

What if non of that mattered and it was only your love that person wanted from you?

[Ashira Macy]

One can only hope. Thank you Ron.

[ron]

One can only hope.

[NotaBene]

This poem was absolutely outstanding, you said so much in such a few words. I also had a friend who committed suicide last year. Sometimes it is hard to understand the reasoning behind, there is so much emotion from not only the person who commits the act, but also from those of us who are left behind. Much of the time it comes expectation and the feeling of being a disappointment/burden can play a major role. We have to learn how to find common ground with people who feel this way, so that their flames can be nourished and fed, not stomped out. Thanks for sharing.

[Ashira Macy]

I am so sorry for your friend. You are correct, it really does affect everyone around the person, not just them. There are aftershocks for years. Thank you for your kind review.

[Stonz P.]

This piece really speaks out to me because I've been prone to suicidal thoughts for over 10-12 years and the whole perpetrator was the big E: Expectation!
Sure, people may tell me that I'm not strong enough but what they do not get that some people are not cut out for some things..They are good at other (less material) things. And the overbearing burden of the guilt of disappointing them is what 'sets the car in motion'.

I hope this is just a fictional piece. I would not want anyone to go through what I used to go through; though, have been able to curb the thoughts ever since I found spirituality and rejected "the ideal f*****g society".
Thanks for sharing this :-)

P.S.: I know it is irrelevant but this also reminded me of a Coldplay song 'What If..' :-)

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you for your personal review Stonz. I can't say that I am happy you could relate because I wouldn't wish these feelings on my worst enemy, much less my friends. This piece was incredibly emotional for me, I don't usually cry from my own writing, but by the time I get to the end every time I reread it I am welling up. It is scary to have these kind of emotions and thoughts sometimes. That is why letting them out via writing is so important. Sorry, that was a little rant like. Thanks again for your words.

[Imaweirdo:)]

I too lost a few family members to suicide and almost my best friend at a very young age. Thank you for sharing your insight and this beautiful poem.

[Ashira Macy]

I am so sorry for your loss. The stress of this life can sometimes be just too much, which is awful.

[Rache David]

Most people seek answers to questions that have no answers, literally. I mean, they think that there's something wrong with them, they're no good of anything. Well in fact, nothing's wrong... It's just not meant for you at that moment.. I guess...that's life
Yet it's a nice, real poem... Everyone can relate of it.. Like me...

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you for your kind words Rachel, I appreciate them. =)

[Rache David]

You're welcome...