Puzzle Piece Poker

He’s Brother Bluff

She’s Lady Luck

And I’m bit of both.

 

Still, we’ll sit for hours

Four flipped up,

Three turned down,

Betting puzzle pieces

And relishing in rose tea.

 

Strained faces struggle…

Resolved, remain relaxed.

Though a fiery faced flush

Might make one motion

In piercing, petulant pride;

 

The real royal gem

Is insight inside and

Outward, observing them.

Author's Note

I have been having a bit of writers block. Comments? Suggestions?

Reviews

[AprilRN1210]

Holy alliteration!!! you have me over here just giggling... wahooooo!!! you KNEW I would like this one ma'am.. I also LOVE poker, so two of my favorite things.. it was playful and yet, slightly meaningful... The last stanza is my favorite... One suggestion, I would leave the "a" out of the first line.. nicely done ma'am.. I enjoyed:)

[Ashira Macy]

Haha, I had a feeling this might be your cup of tea. Poker is definitely a ton of fun. And you are right, that "a" definitely doesn't belong there. Thank you so much April!

[Susan Beth Horvath]

A very thought provoking and inspiring piece
Totally love it

[Ashira Macy]

Thanks so much Susan!

[Einstein Noodle]

i agree .. alterations are used in restraint .. makes them "pop" .. but i love the metaphor of the game better ... one can go off on any one of the verses to other places .. sparks my imagination .. engages me and makes me look for a closing .. someone calls .. we lay down our hands .. and show all .. you surprise me! saving the turn for the last .. and i'm like .. yes insight is a wonderment to have .. but get in the game damn it! ;) i'm a terrible gambler myself .. so bad i only win betting to loose .. enjoyed your poem very much
E.

[Ashira Macy]

Haha thanks Noodle! I so far haven't had too much of an issue with gambling (after all, I bet puzzle pieces =P) Let's hope it is never an issue.

[Christopher Robin]

This is a wonderful little series of runs and alliterations, keeps on track, provides great metaphr, beautiful language, hard to fault really, this is excellently penned.

-Robin

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you Robin, that means a lot!

[PloughBoy]

I felt this was wonderfully written, Ashira, and if I were to give one suggestion, it would be on just one tiny, minor thing...

Still (,) we’ll sit for hours

Four flipped up,... --->The only thing I would do differently here is place a comma between Still, and we'll, and that's it. Otherwise, I would not change a single thing. Your alliteration in this was amazing. All too frequently, many use alliteration in abundance while forgoing the overall message. But not it this case, as every single line read smoothly, and made perfect sense.

Outstanding work here, Ashira!