Mirage

Thought I saw you today

But it was merely a shadow.

Your voice, I swore I heard

Nothing more than an echo.

 

The dark tinted glass

That covered my eyes

Played games with my heart

And disclosed pretty lies.

 

A smile, bitter sweet

Makes my jaw burn

Because you have gone

To where there is no return.

Author's Note

Thoughts? Suggestions?

Reviews

[TheLastEclipse]

It was simple, but simplicity is not error. This was a beautifully sculpted piece. I enjoyed it because it was not lengthy, so it was easy to remain interested. Your words were relatable yet intelligent. I could empathize with the mood of the poem. Congratulations, madam.

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you so much, I appreciate the feedback, and I am glad you were able to relate!

[Rachel P]

Like your other poem, One Lone Tree, that I have recently read, I greatly enjoy the simplicity of this piece. It gets to your point and kept my interest, I enjoy that I can relate, and yet it's original, very good piece.

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you so much Rachel for all of your comments. I owe you a visit for sure. I am backed up on RRs right now because of my vacation, but I will swing by as soon as I can.

[little thoughts]

nice one ashira very touchy !

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you dear!

[Lyan]

Nice and simple and to the point. a great write:)

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you Lyana!

[Eve Ola]

purified beauty in your write. Great job

[Ashira Macy]

Thanks much Eve!

[GhoulOfGore]

From the very first Line of this poem, I thought "I'm gonna love this one." And I did :D

[Ashira Macy]

Thank is great to hear Ghoul, thank you!

[Briana O'Connor]

Ah, such simple expression of pain. So beautiful and discreet. This expression can lead one into such contemplation, revealing memories of heartbreak and loss, recovery and triumph. Very well written. Thank you for sharing and keep up the good work.

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you so much Briana, I am glad you connected with it.

[joshua deathdealer]

This defiantly felt like a mirage. Shimmering in plain view but unobtainable. I like the whole bitter sweet smile burning your jaw line. That went over nicely. Another great poem.

[Ashira Macy]

Thanks again Joshua, I am glad this called out to you!

[joshua deathdealer]

You are welcome. I enjoyed sampling your poetry and will soon return. Take care.

[kublakhan27]

There are some parallels between your poem and the one I wrote yesterday...I was feeling exactly like you do here...the person in question may be gone to where there is no return, but there's always hope that we can take the same journey someday...that's the only thought that really gets me through days on when I'm thinking of my dad and a couple of dear friends, all who left way too early...this poem definitely spoke to me and resonated with me on an emotional level...well done my friend :)

[Ashira Macy]

Thanks for your encouragement Steve, it is comforting to know that I am not alone in this regard. I am sorry about your dad and friends, loss can take so much toll on people.

[Sophy Freebirds]

The delicious glow blended with blinding illusion... the realisation at the last sends shivers down the reader',s body.. crystal clear message ;) liked the haunting touch.well done girl :)

~Sophy

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you so much Sophy! It is always a joy to see your responses. =D

[Sophy Freebirds]

Geee.. ;) you're welcome muchly sweetie

[Sophy Freebirds]

Geee.. ;) you're welcome muchly sweetie