Pride (Seven Deadly Sins Series)

The deadliest sin.

Very few beings on this earth could boast

Of being blessed with more talents than most;

But I was so special, witty, and smart -

Features sculpted like Athenian art.

 

My smile could part oceans, start and end wars.

Like Helen of Troy, beauty to the core,

My tale is tragic like fair Narcissus

Brought to a close by those who were jealous.

 

As I gazed upon the stagnant water

My image causing balance to totter

Into my own immaculate embrace,

Submerged in my cool and reflective grace.

 

Downward I plunged to the steel gates of hell

Where naught but loathsome, ugly creatures dwell

All desirous of my pure radiance -

Damned me, doomed me, eternally sentenced

 

Neck always garnished with drab slabs of stone

Face buried within the cold soil alone

I wail and yearn for those days long since dead

When I was not forced to bow my vain head.

Author's Note

At long last here is the final entry in my Seven Deadly Sins series: Pride in the form of a Ballad. Pride is supposed to be the worst sin, the one that all of the others sprout out of. Let me know what you think. Comments? Suggestions?

Reviews

[raj24]

pride.....as a sin.. for me is a ladder.. opening your doors towards the fall... a feeling that makes you believe you are superior than anyone around.. forgetting that without success even you were nothing.. in your words i found how people feel jealous of someone and i saw a reflection of our downfall in our own pride... the picture of hell showed what we are heading up to... people find it hard to respect others success but they find it even hard to accept the reasons behind their own failures.. seven deadly sins is a beautiful effort by you to show us the things that truly reflects the evil side of human life... thanks for sharing Ashira :)

Raj

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you so much Raj, I am glad you found connections with this series and enjoyed reading it. It was a lot of fun to write!

[J. Land]

A prescient warning not to be foolishly vain. I thoroughly enjoyed this perfectly tuned poem. The rhythm, rhyme, and succinct message cut a powerful line into my own vanity. Well done!

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you my friend, so glad this appealed to you.

[Yarta]

As poetry lover, I enjoyed reading this piece, well done.

[Ashira Macy]

Thanks so much!

[Igarin]

Are you still in earth thinking of what hell would be, or are you entering hell? It sounds to me as though you are entering; however, it began with here on earth...

[Ashira Macy]

It is Pride starting off on earth, and then when they die they are dragged down into hell and punished in the way that prideful people are said to be.

[Chris]

The last two lines of stanza four feel off... just me.

The rest reads, flows and sounds well!

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you for your honest review Chris.

[Blogger]

Did you write this? (I am kidding. I am sure you did. But this is really good and seems to be based on the bible right?)

Wow. This flows really well and says so much! you have talent I see.

[Ashira Macy]

Haha, thank you Blogger. It is based more on Dante's Inferno than the Bible, but it definitely has some Biblical themes in there. =) So glad you enjoyed it.

[Blogger]

I like your imagery use too. A good, appropriate photo/image always helps too. So keep writing!

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you! I always struggle when I try to find photos, I see them one way and can never find one that truly fits. The sins series though, I ended up finding some pretty great ones.

[Blogger]

I will keep reading them. I am curious as to what you will do with gluttony...

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you, I hope you like them. They were all so fun to write.

[Frozen Eyes]

"I wail and yearn for those days long since dead
When I was not forced to bow my vain head."

Proud of you Macy.. "pride" was never so picture perfect before. well done.

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you Frozen, so glad you liked it.

[SAYED THANGAL]

the sin is well narrated, with clear images, well done, enjoyed the poem
sayed

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you Sayed, so glad you enjoyed it.

[SAYED THANGAL]

most welcome

[Skai Rain]

I absolutely love how you brought tid-bits of Ancient Greece into this poem. It is perfect for pride. Love it. Thank you for sharing :)

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you Brit, it seemed fitting to me. =)

[Celestial Witch Child]

Oh wow. I love this piece so much. You are a fantastic writer. Keep it up!

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you so much! The series was so much fun to write! =D

[Blake Fodor]

Love the imagery and how it evokes feelings. You have painted a scene and set the readers into their own song. one with skill and expertise of language.

[Ashira Macy]

Thanks Blake, I am glad it was engaging!