Gluttony (Seven Deadly Sins Series)

Over-consumption is the name of my game

The ache in my belly ever prominent

Surrounded by sustenance I feel no shame,

Not a single notion in mind to repent.

My family mourns the monster I became

As they know my future will promptly be spent

Choking on rats as they wriggle down my maw

Snakes and toads force-fed to extinguish this flaw.

Author's Note

I have challenged myself to write one poem for each of the Seven Deadly Sins, and to use a different form for each. Here is Gluttony in the form of an Ottava Rima. Suggestions? Comments?

Reviews

[raj24]

. very powerfully written ... i was just thinking wow... how that person actually controls herself from eating so much.. everything is going in and she is not even showing a sign of giving up.. enjoyed it.. but its not healthy.. but is it a sin.. really.. i thought its just a habit..:) thanks for sharing :)

Raj

[Ashira Macy]

Yeah it is counted as one of the Deadly. It is not just eating, it is anything that causes excessive waste, but it is mostly associated with eating nowadays. Thanks for reading Raj!

[Marie]

Over eating may be just a habit, but gluttony is definitely a sin. Especially if it isn't repented, but onstantly repeated.

[Ashira Macy]

I completely agree, anything to the point of excess is a problem.

[realmwriter]

While the first line feels a bit clunky, it works. I do believe you have captured gluttony rather well.

[Ashira Macy]

Thanks Realmwriter, I appreciate your honest feedback!

[realmwriter]

You're most welcome.

[realmwriter]

I look forward to reading about the other six.

[Ashira Macy]

This piece is so creative, and it speaks much of the nowdays troubles in a society a society which is over consumed, not just with people who eat, but it counts also for watching certain movies, listening to certain music, that's commercial, all that's happening, in a modern world, (I think). Very thought provoking Ashira, and really on point. Your words always bring me to ponder, and I love that. People are just born to find balance, I think, and this write puts you right there... You have heaven, purgatory and hell yep ;) hence to Dante's Inferno. Great write.

- Elisa

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you Elisa, you really dug down to the meaning on this one. You are exactly right, in this day and age we all tend to be consumers to the point of waste, which is why our planet is starting to feel the pressure. Thank you for your insight dear, it is always wonderful to hear your take. =)

Exactly, we slowly kill ourselves, with this. Unless people become all as wise as you are, and do something about it. :) You are welcome dear, I treasure your poetry. It's food for the soul. -xx-

[A. Amos]

You will do great justice to seven sins, this is the first one I read and was awesome!

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you Amos, I hope to prove you right. =)

[John Preston]

I don't believe in any sins
if your hungry then eat
that's not a sin
it's called survival

[Ashira Macy]

True. I think the argument is that any of the sins are done in excess to the point that they are denying things from those that need them more. I don't necessarily believe in the sins either, but the concept has always been fascinating to me.

[John Preston]

It's a sin to kill
It's a sin to be killed
Do these monsters care
in the name of their God.

[Ashira Macy]

That is very true, they don't.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

could be a little grosser....just kidding....

very dark...there is that feeling of being a little too full after reading this.

[Ashira Macy]

Haha! I want to be true to what the punishment for the sins are. This one is definitely icky though, I will admit!

[Matching Socks]

Positively creepy. :) love it!
Load me up!

[Ashira Macy]

Glad to hear it! Who would've thought Gluttony would turn out the creepiest?