Dragon Rain

You need not fear the darkness when you're drenched in dragon rain...

Step out into the open plains

Where your spirit cannot hide.         

Feel your limbs grow numb as warm dragon rain

Pushes your fears aside.

Let it wash away your sadness,

Let it melt away your pain.

You need not fear the darkness

When you're drenched with dragon rain.

 

Fly on through the winter,

Forsake the fickle spring

As the tears of the dragons

Take you underneath their wing.

 

Stay hidden in the forest

Where endless night knows no despair.

Breathe out to liberate your soul

Watch it dancing through the air.

Chase it over skyscrapers,

Let boundaries keep you not.

Forgive the everlasting war,

Thousands of years we’ve fought.

 

Fly on through the winter,

Forsake the fickle spring

As the tears of the dragons

Take you underneath their wing.

 

Rage comes with incredible ease

When summoned by human kind;

But love and understanding

Fill the wise old dragons' minds.

They take what they are given,

They grant what they can give,

They cry for long lost empathy,

They're forced to hide to live.

 

Fly on through the winter,

Forsake the fickle spring

As the tears of the dragons

Take you underneath their wing.

 

So bare your naked heart,

Reveal your hidden dreams

And truth will be unveiled,

Things aren’t always as they seem.

Hope is abstract in this day and age,

But they still know it’s there.

What the world must relearn

Is how to show they care.

As revelation hits you

Mesh your soul with mortal flesh.

You must lead on humanity,

Inspire to start afresh.

 

Fly on through all your hopes,

Forsake your heartfelt fears

As mournful tears of dragons

Fade to mist and disappear.

Author's Note

Thoughts? Anything I can improve?

Reviews

[Cryingkate]

OOOH I really loved this and didn't read Glens review before I had decided that it was so good that It was so worthy to let me make a suggestion. :-)
the chorus repeat verse I recognized that it would repeat again and sure enough you did :-) Love it.
However there isn't enough beats to keep the rhythm. perhaps a two syllable verb would fill it.
Forsake the Spring is only 4 beats and it throws me off the rhythm.
And the last line also needs 1 syllable.. Perhaps use underneath instead of under?
And the last line of the last verse before your re frame : the word afresh has a space in it.
"Inspire to start af resh."

I really loved the message and structure and was very fun to read also. It took me away joyfully but with a serious message.

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you Kate, I will revisit it and make some corrections. So happy you enjoyed it!

[kublakhan27]

This is a phenomenal poem...so much rich imagery and fascinating oxymorons, starting with the title, which drew me to this poem instantly...I'd never have believed you didn't write for a few years if this is a recent piece...I love seasonal imagery and elemental imagery and I found tons of it here...I loved the tears of the dragons taking you under their wing...oh and winter also happens to be my favourite season so I love the repetition of foresaking the spring and jumping right into winter, where the dragon's tears await...awesome work, love this one :)

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you so much Kublakhan, I am so glad you liked it so much! I had a feeling the title would be alluring, dragons are just fascinating to me and many others, I know. And winter is one of my favorites as well. Too many allergies going on in springtime. =P

[kublakhan27]

Haha I hear you on the Spring allergies...I love dragons as well...they're so mysterious, and can be used in so many different contexts...always a pleasure, I already enjoy your stuff a lot :)

[Ashira Macy]

So true, they can be villainous or heroic, savage or wise. Thank you so much, I am enjoying your work as well. XD

[Glen Yumang Manese]

So bare your naked heart,
Reveal your hidden dreams
And truth will be unveiled,
Things aren’t always as they seem.
Hope is abstract in this day and age,
But they still know it’s there.
What the world must relearn
Is how to show they care.
As revelation hits you
Mesh your soul with mortal flesh.
You must lead on humanity,
Inspire to start afresh.

---

this stanza --- seals the deal of this write...I do like your hook line:

Fly on through winter,
Forsake the spring
As the tears of the dragons
Take you under their wing.
---
Fly on through the winter,
Forsake the spring
As the tears of the dragons
Take you under their wing.

or go with this:

Fly on through winter,
Forsake spring
As tears of the dragons
Take you under their wing.

but you changed it going into the hook line after your 3rd stanza... --- I would choice one or the other here...to keep pace and flow or my suggestion...


...and with the rest of the body keeps your theme...and the change in format in the last line...gives it a sound ending...

[Ashira Macy]

Oh wow, I didn't even notice that little blooper in there, thank you so much for catching that for me and thank you for your feedback!

[Glen Yumang Manese]

you're welcome...

[Ashira Macy]

Your poetry speaks so much to me, it's a huge message within poetic bliss you convey here.
There for me is honestly nothing that must be improved with this one, I do love the fact, of finding another fantasy writer here... happy you found me, and I you. Embrace the darkness, and beauty will arise... nice nice work new friend.

- Elisa

[Ashira Macy]

Fantasy has such a wide range it is a pleasure to write and read and has been since before I can remember. I am glad we were able to connect as well, it is wonderful to meet you. =)

It has such a wide range indeed... in the mind of fantasy writers even more, there is no stop, it only continues, and grows to eternity. I'm very glad too! Thank you for your kindness and friendship, - Elisa.

[Matching Socks]

Really loved this one.
Well, I love dragons soo how could I not.
But I thought it had such a great underlying message, inspirational and hopeful.
Well written, great flow and really great imagery.

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you dear, I am so glad it called out to you. I agree, dragons are pretty fantastic. =)

[Benitoo]

I love this poem! I was lured in by the title, as all humans naturally are to the subject of dragons, which you wonderfully use to illustrate many deep essential thoughts.
The first stanza was great - I stepped out into the open plain, felt my limbs grow numb in dragon rain, felt pain fear and sadness wash and melt away. Then I stood in darkness, feeling only dragon rain
The rest of the poem is at least as great. Every line has so much meaning so much truth and so much fire!
Thank you for sharing Dragon Rain

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you so much for your kind review, I really appreciate the feedback and I am so glad you enjoyed it!